How do you keep all your sh!t together so well?

A very dear lifelong friend recently text me with, "How do you keep all your shit together so well???"

A business acquaintance, 15 minutes later, emailed me thanking me (out of nowhere) for being his role model in life and business. He shared a few situations where he caught himself wondering how I'd handle things before he stepped into action.

I adore and admire both of these people. I look up to them. I consider them among my rocks and mentors. How lovely it is that they feel the same about me.

Over the years, I've been seen as an expression of light, love, vulnerability and grit. I am humbled by what I reflect back. All of these qualities are what I strive for daily; and yet, sometimes I experience minute-by-minute struggles to stay committed to the sweet nectar of life.

I've spent thousands of dollars and countless hours involved in personal development, counseling, healing, retreats, and emotional/mental wellness - both as a student and teacher over the course of the last 25 years. I know a little something about the power and importance of our mind, body & spirit connection. I know a little something about what a significant difference it makes when you invest in yourself. How making your mental, physical, and emotional well-being a top priority will help you live a life on purpose and in discovery of the next best version of YOU.

To the contrary, I've also recently been called a "cold bitch", an "attention seeker", and a fake. It's here, when I'm triggered by these comments, that I am invited to look even deeper inside. I am humbled by what I reflect back. While these are not qualities I strive for in life, I get to: own them; see what they have to teach me; and, accept them as a part of me so that I can step further into my humanity and my divine light.

I've been posting photos of our new pup, light-hearted shares about business "wins," and my love for the people in my life. I share these from a sincere place, deep within my heart, and an attempt to focus on life's little celebrations. But, like many of us are aware, there are multiple sides to one's life and with social media, we usually only get the highlight reel.

Many of you have privately asked how things are going lately. You've shared that you continue to pray for my family. You've let me know that my journaling has inspired you. You've asked, "How are you, really?"

I was with another dear friend and power partner yesterday and shared that I know of at least 8 lives that I've saved having chosen to be so open and candid about the pain of suicide. At some point I'll share those emails, private messages and texts publicly because quite honestly, these stories and declarations need to be shared as well. I will, of course, ask for permission and will keep these people anonymous, if that's their wish.

So, it's with all of these little prompts and pokes from the universe that I am compelled to share the other side of puppy posts and funny or motivational memes with you too. Because without it, I wouldn't be true to all of me.

I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel defeated. I mourn. I grieve. And some days, the pain and weight is so great, I struggle to keep my head on straight.

Our family situation + medical debt + covid + self employment pressures + strain with extended family + homeschooling/quarantine challenges = {fill in the blank}

How would you fill in the blank here?

If it were left up to my thinking mind (the almighty brain) to answer, these situations would leave me feeling hopeless. They would have me laying naked on the cold bathroom floor in a puddle of tears and a moaning cry that would rival the haunting sound of hunchback whales. Been there, done that.

However, there are plenty of choices here. I have to remind myself that there is a power greater than me working on my behalf. 100% of the time. If I only give myself choices, limited by my fear and my past, I'm screwed.

My response to the text from my dear friend that asked, "How do you keep all your shit together so well???" was this...

"A ton of positive self talk!!!"

You may not easily see the sh!t I face. Not because I hide it from you, it's because I choose not to dwell there. If I did, I'd be crushed by the weight and have no fighting chance to rise above it all.

You know the saying: Misery loves company. It's true.

So is the saying: What you think about, you bring about.

I acknowledge that I am (and that my family is) not the only one struggling right now. We are in a really weird and interesting time globally. I feel your pain. I sense the struggles you are faced with. I pray for you. I send you love and light on a daily basis. Yes, all of you.

You may not easily see the demons and dragons that other people have to face. They may be good at keeping them hidden in the basement. But, we've all got some sort of challenge or struggle to wrestle with.

My hope for you is that you see who you are from a lens of beauty, joy and peace. That, when things feel all consuming and impossible, that you find new ways of thinking and pull yourself out of that dark and damp room and step into the light. If you can't do this alone (and many of us can't), that you seek help. I have tons of resources I can share with you. If not me, find another trusted source. Just ask. It's the first big step toward healing and wholeness.

Let's get well and stay well together.