How do you give feedback?

Today I received some feedback from a colleague. They sent me an email saying they didn’t like some of the work I had done.

Their feedback only told me that they didn’t love the work I had done. There were no positives in the email and no suggestions on what I could have done differently, just that they didn’t like my work.

I know this person well and I was able to put myself in their shoes and think why they had chosen to send me this email. That meant that this feedback didn’t impact my day especially as the feedback was on a campaign that was going live today.

But I know myself that on another day, this type of feedback could have thrown me off balance and ruined my mood.

The format of how we give feedback is also key. Words in a written message can often be seen as harsher than the spoken word. Not being able to see the person’s expression as they talk to you can also impact how the message is received.

We have all seen the explosion of online trolls sitting behind a keyboard writing offensive and negative comments. I would personally love a world where anonymity was taken away and whilst people could still say what they want, they weren’t able to hide behind a fake name.

I started doing some research into giving good feedback and this point stood out to me:

“Before giving feedback, remind yourself?why?you are doing it. The purpose of giving feedback is to improve the situation or the person's performance. You won't accomplish that by being harsh, critical or offensive.

You'll likely get much more from people when your approach is positive and focused on improvement. That's not to say feedback always has to be good, but it should be fair and balanced.” Source https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMM_98.htm

Another point I came across in my research was to avoid giving unsolicited advice. Have you been asked by your colleague to give your input? More often than not, if feedback is unsolicited, it can create an immense amount of stress for the person receiving it.

?If you are going to give feedback, I can really recommend you use this checklist from Brene Brown https://brenebrown.com/resources/the-engaged-feedback-checklist/

I know that I’m ready to give feedback when …

1. I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.
2. I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us
3. (or sliding it toward you).
4. I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue.
5. I’m ready to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart
6. your mistakes.
7. I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges.
8. I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming.
9. I am open to owning my part.
10. I can genuinely thank someone for their efforts rather than criticize
11. them for their failings.
12. I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to growth and opportunity.
13. I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.
14. I am aware of power dynamics, implicit bias, and stereotypes.

Personally, I am going to really focus on points 4, 8 and 10 as I give feedback moving forward.

Looking forward to hearing your stories on good and bad feedback examples.