How Do You Find Your Center When You’re Burned Out or Close to It?

Lifestyle means so many things…having a healthy lifestyle does, too. Terms like “self-care” and “work-life balance” continue to dominate much of the discussion, filling up social media feeds, self-help listicles, and dominating our conversations about flexible work schedules. Yet, the answer evades us. Society continues to talk about it more and more, but statistically, stress levels are only rising.

I have my own way of thinking about work-life balance, I see it thusly:

Sable Math is the term coined by my BFF, MG, for how I view the hours in a workday. My readers know all about it. My system is simple…Don’t look for balance by dividing your days into “billable” percentages, like a lawyer. Comparing personal and business opportunities and obsessing over how much you will allocate for each to achieve your best theoretical “balance” is a lost cause. Unless you are a lawyer or equivalent biller of micro-time, you will fail. And miserably.?

Instead, go 100% all-in…personal or business—whatever you’re doing, be 100% present…that’s Sable Math. It does sometimes add up to over 100% of a day, in theoretical time. MG swears it can go up to 500% or more if you project and keep score…but who cares. Go 100% in, even for 5 minutes, and your balance is achieved every time…in fact, there’s no other way to make it to 100% worthwhile usage always.?

However, I want to tackle another piece of the balance equation, and that’s center. You see, to achieve true and real balance, you need a center…a true and real center. Ever try to balance something without one? You know the result.

I find that staying centered, or at least re-centering on a regular basis—we all lose balance from time to time—is another key element in a healthy lifestyle.

So how do you achieve balance?

Yoga, meditation, and drugs work for some I guess…shockingly…LOL…I see it differently.?

To me, balance is about friends and resources…people whose own life pursuits and priorities are Zenly different than yours.?

Let me explain.

In my case, I have spent my life working insane hours, traveling all over the world on super aggressive schedules. I’ve pushed myself and my body to limits beyond the usual “How To Stay Healthy” round-up articles we all read and share occasionally. I obsessed over deadlines and apocalyptic issues that proved, ultimately, to be needlessly manufactured and inflated…worried about pleasing people who didn’t deserve it…focused on success, if you will…whatever that means.?

If this was a live presentation, I’d ask for a show of hands of who knew what I was talking about…who had similar or same experiences…and who commiserated. If you can relate, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Talk about loss of center. While I was able to keep my 100% all-in as my day progressed, I often found it harder and harder to return to some core place of values and real feelings. I needed a place that reminded me of what was really important when I stripped away all the veneer of what was expected. Not that success isn’t critical, and not that I regret a second of any of it…OK, maybe a second or two…but not of the work, maybe of some of the people…

And frankly, my 100% all-in personal time wasn’t enough. When the center went, it just took longer to get there.

My remedy??

Friends. Good friends. Friends who were the diametrical opposite of the world I lived in. It’s not that they weren’t successful…they were in their worlds. It’s also not that they didn’t work hard or spend long hours engaged, they did, but in other pursuits.?

These friends of mine have strong and powerful spiritual cores that see past the money, noise, and tumult and focus on a higher plane of good and right.?

They live modestly. They do good deeds. They care about people. They care about me. My family. Even my other friends.?

They understand my world, but it's not theirs. And they don’t evangelize theirs to the determent of mine. Au contraire. They appreciate what I do…they just hold my hand, or grab my arm or whole body from time to time, and re-center my being…my self…my life.??

The outcome is that my 100% on both sides is way more powerful, focused, and successful because of those friends who help me refind my center.?

Sometimes I call them when I’m feeling particularly off-balance. The best is when they call me, randomly, and I stop what I’m doing…no matter where I am…I never tell them where I am or what I’m doing, we just talk…getting “strength” from their friendship and inspiration from their warmth and care.

One of my most memorable moments was on a trip to Hong Kong. I’d been banging around the world on a crazy pitch. I was two weeks in on a gig of on-and-off planes, in and out of hotels, meals on the run, and conference room after conference room, presentation after presentation.

Usually, I kept my phone off when we were working, which was just about always. I remember during a meeting on that trip, all of a sudden my phone started to ring…I looked down, saw who it was (CD), and smiled…I excused myself, walked out, and started talking.?

I felt the tension leave and my venue dissolve. I literally felt myself centering again. If it was a movie, the CGI would have had my body contorting, shapeshifting as my center got pulled backed to zero.?

When I returned to the conference room, my smile was indelible. My focus was laser-like. My 100% in was more like 200%. The power of being centered is not to be trifled with.?

Bottom line?

Do It Big??

Find yourselves a “Centering Friend,” someone who can get you out of a meeting and put a day-long smile on your face and a new center to your soul.

What’s your view??