How do you develop skills in empathy?

Hi there,

Lee here! Our?last Culture Corner?talked about all the ingredients that make up an empathetic leader. Let's continue the conversation today with a 3-minute read discussing:

How do you develop skills in empathy?

It takes a whole lot of work. So one great place to start is knowing this isn’t a quick fix, this is a journey — a lifelong one.?

It’s a constant state of being, a practice, a ‘religion’ of sorts. Just like working out and your physical health, it ebbs and flows, you’re strong and weaker at times,?but you have to work on it in order to progress.?Some ways you can start acquiring the necessary skills is by…

• Actively listening???
• Practicing mindfulness???
• Asking open-ended questions???
• Having empathy for everyone,?including yourself???

More on what I mean below. ??

Actively Listening ??

Pay attention, withhold judgment and giving advice too quickly, reflect on what is being shared, clarify anything that doesn’t make sense or doesn’t feel right by?asking questions?and?giving space?to continue and evolve the conversation, and?test your understanding?by summarizing any learnings to ensure all parties are on the same page are some of the ways to do this. ??

Practice Mindfulness ??

Mindfulness is about being in the now?(minimizing distractions, making eye contact, giving that person your full attention, and if you’re not in the now, communicating that with the person you’re in front of so they can be aware).?

There’s a whole lot of?hype about meditation?and?it’s because it works. ?? Being aware of your breath can bring us back to the basics of remembering we’re on this planet for a short amount of time, all things considered— with no guarantees.?

The basics of breathing, something we don’t pay much (or any) attention to, is one of the key elements that can truly make our day and give light to the person within —?you.?

?? Gratitude and affirmations are two other very key ingredients. ??

?I know it’s oversimplifying things, but it’s safe to say if you’re reading this newsletter you’ve got a lot to be grateful for! Access to clean water, education… the internet (in all its crazy glory)!?

And even things like just knowing your mind. It will be helpful to those around you to know whether you’re having a bad day or not, so they can adjust accordingly or be sensitive. If you don’t want to share, you can just be mindful about it and consider not having certain conversations until you’re in a better headspace.

Ask Open-Ended Questions ??

One of my biggest lessons as a CEO was that to maintain a healthy culture I needed to?not make assumptions or statements before having all the facts. ?? ♀?

Sometimes something might look a certain way, like an employee making a questionable decision that resulted in an issue.?But if you come in guns blazing saying, “Why did this happen?” “What the heck is going on here?” you’re going to get a team that fears you and then walks on eggshells. You won’t create a culture of transparency and openness.?

Empathy All-Around ??

One key component to providing empathy to your team members is also making them aware that in order for this relationship to work,?there also needs to be empathy the other way around.???

Giving permission to ourselves [the managers] to make mistakes, get critiqued, and have a 360-degree relationship. By providing empathy to your team members, they will naturally do the same with their team members,?and?that’s?how you build scalable leadership. ???

Developing Empathy in Yourself

You have to challenge yourself to?seek out opportunities that help?develop a more empathetic mindset. The good news is there are so many ways to do this in our everyday lives!

• Submerge yourself in a new culture by learning about how other people live ??
• Read a new book from an author of a different background or look at media or news with a perspective contrary to yours ??
• Volunteer in less privileged communities or ask your local community what it needs ??

Be open to making new friends, igniting conversations with strangers, and having honest, authentic, and raw conversations about life.?

Remember:?to develop empathy, you have to connect. ???

Talk Again Soon ??

Empathy is a skill, and strengthening this skill requires openness and understanding.?You truly can’t know what someone has gone through or is going through unless you seek that understanding.

Have a good story about empathy in the workplace? Send it over! Got comments about the content, let me know your thoughts. ???

With love,

Lee Rubin (she/her) | CEO & Founder of Confetti