How do you define success?

I spent most of my time and energy late last year on one thing: organizing and promoting a month-long virtual “prelaunch” event to raise funds to publish my upcoming book, Perceptive.

Asking everyone I know for money to support the publishing effort was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Way out of my comfort zone. And more than that, I had all kinds of reasons why the campaign wouldn’t succeed, from timing to politics to the economy to my niche topic.

I stressed. A lot.?I lost a lot of sleep. I cried. I thought about giving up, several times.?

But I worked my ass off and made myself vulnerable, reaching out to many hundreds of people from every part of my life, past and present.??

I’d spent months researching, interviewing, and writing the book. I’d put tons of mental, physical and emotional energy and effort into this project, and pushed everything else aside.

Giving up wasn’t an option.

After all, I’m strong and smart and resourceful, right? I could do this. I had to succeed.

The fundraising campaign ended last week.

I’d failed.?

I didn't reach the goal the publisher had set.

And yet…

I’ve never done any fundraising before. I’ve never put myself out there like that, focused on just one outcome for so long. Especially asking for money and help—something I’d learned early in my life not to do.

The support I received—financial, moral and emotional—blew me away. All three came from all over, including from unexpected sources.

And together we raised enough to get the book published through other channels.

I realized that I didn’t have to live with someone else’s definition of success. By my own definition, this effort was hugely successful, and it’s not even close to done yet.

I’ve come out of this whole experience with a lot of practical life lessons and feeling more inspired and energized about getting the book out there than I was before.

One of those life lessons is really a reminder: We don’t have to live by or with anyone else’s definition of success. We get to set our own.

So what about you? How have others' definitions of success influenced you in your career? In your life?

And more importantly, what will you do about it?

? I serve as a strategic thought partner to women leaders who are wired a little differently. If you’re ready to redefine success on your own terms and create the conditions you need to achieve it, I’d love to support you. Let’s talk. ?