How Do You Define You?

You may have seen sarcastically written on a marque somewhere, “You are special…just like everyone else.” Or maybe it was, “You are unique…just like everyone else.”

Although rather “tongue in cheek” that’s hardly what I’d consider inspiring words (I’m sure they weren’t meant to be), though in a sense they are true.

Now, I don’t mean that in a “participation trophy” kind of way, but rather in an “everyone is a special and unique individual with something to contribute” kind of way. Did that sound like something a motivational speaker or guru might say?

Well…maybe…but what does that actually mean?

It means that we are all different and that overall no one person can generally be considered to be “better” than another. They will definitely be better, more accomplished, more experienced…whatever…in particular subjects or fields but not overall. For example, a CEO may excel at making million dollar business decisions but not be able to hold a candle to the janitor when it comes to making hand-carved figurines.

And the kicker is that the janitor may be MUCH happier than the CEO!

We are all the sum of our experiences. We are then defined by those experiences or more specifically by our perception of them.

In the example above the one may, at least in part, define herself by her position, i.e. CEO, while the other defines himself primarily as a wood carver or craftsman or artist or something similar. The second person’s definition of himself may not include his “day job” at all!

Guess what, YOU are the only one that gets to define YOU, no one else…unless you let them.

In today’s business vernacular this would be part of defining your “personal brand” though hopefully you don’t define yourself exclusively by your career.

Think about your life and what you have experienced. Do you understand how those experiences define you and make you unique? No one else has that particular combination of experiences and perceptions. Do you like that definition?

Yes?

No?

Not sure?

The beauty of that definition is that it can be intentionally changed. It may not be an immediate change but it can be changed. The reality is that it is in constant revision throughout your lifetime regardless of intent…but it doesn’t have to be left up to chance. Sometimes the changes are big and immediate while at other times they are small and more gradual but in life the only true constant is change.

So what does it take to intentionally change that definition?

Change your career? Change your job? Go back to school? Try out for a play at the community theater? Take a cooking class? Try a new hobby? Get married? Start a family? Go on a vision quest? Go hunting for Sasquatch or the Yeti?

The possibilities are endless and they don’t have to even remotely be work related or at least not related to your current career/position.

Depending on the change(s) you decide to make, it may not be easy or quick…and you may change your decision several times along the way…but in the end, defining yourself the way you want is worth the effort both for your happiness and for your sanity (and possibly for the sanity of those around you).

Not sure what you want the final definition to be (or even the intermediate one)? That’s okay; it just gives you a convenient excuse to try different directions to see which one suits you. If it seems overwhelming, you might consider enlisting the aid of a mentor or two or even a professional life or career coach.

No matter how trapped or out of control you may feel at any particular time, there is ALWAYS something within your control. You are the Captain of your ship and even though at times you may feel at the mercy of the wind and the waves, you still have the ability to steer the ship towards shore rather than leaving it to fate.

Write your own story and decide on your own definition...become the subject matter expert in YOU.

So what change are you going to start today?

About the Author: Lee Crowson is a Story Teller and Asker of Questions who also happens to be a Navy Veteran and problem solver with over 20 years’ experience in organizational leadership, communications, training, public speaking, operations, human resources and data analysis. He has a strong passion for learning, reading, storytelling, fitness, the outdoors and helping others to reach their full potential. He writes and speaks because it is more easily understood than his interpretive dance.