How Do You Deal with Setbacks?

Do you ever have days when just about everything seems to go wrong? You probably know the feeling all too well. It happens to all of us at one time or another. The car won’t start. Or you get stuck in a traffic jam. Or the train’s late. Or your flight’s cancelled. Or a deal falls through. You get turned down for an important opportunity. You spill your coffee down the front of your favourite outfit. I know. The list seems limitless. Because there’s always something that can interrupt the flow of our plans and put a distinctly unwelcome dent in our hopes for the day.

It's easy to shrug and say “Well, that’s life.” We live in a highly complex and technologically advanced environment where thousands of random influences can conspire to interrupt the smooth flow of our agenda. Setbacks, obstacles, delays and frustrations abound. So how do we deal with these inevitable and unwelcome intrusions?

The beautiful thing about setbacks is that they also introduce us to our strengths.

-?????? Robin Sharma

The important question here is to ask yourself how you react to any upsets. What kind of feelings arise when you’re having a difficult day? Do you get angry? Do you feel frustrated? Do you ever ask why these things have to happen to you? Do you feel that the situation’s unfair? Do you take the setbacks personally?

The first step in overcoming your frustration is to make a couple of essential physical adjustments. And why is this a good starting place, you might ask? Simply because your body always reacts to how you’re thinking and feeling. The process is reciprocal. When you adjust your posture, you introduce changes into how you think and feel. It’s simple, it’s powerful and it’s very effective. You could start by opening and relaxing your shoulders. This is a postural adjustment that’s hardwired into our behaviour. A couple of deeper breaths can be very helpful too. These simple adjustments can help you to disengage your initial reactions and give you the precious space in which you can consider exactly how you’re feeling and, more importantly, how you wish to feel.

Understand and accept the cycles of money. The setbacks you may have today or next year will not keep you from financial freedom. If you hold on to your goals and dreams, you will get there.

-?????? Suze Oman

The next step is to ask yourself why you’re feeling this way. What’s causing you to react with this particular set of emotions? It’s a perfect moment to ask yourself if the situation is really directed at you personally. Or whether it’s affecting other people as well.

This is the moment when you can take a step back and learn to separate your feelings from the problem. This is the perfect moment for you to become detached from the negative emotions that you used to associate with any of life’s difficulties and setbacks. You can even allow yourself the pleasure of a smile as you feel this new state of calm and tranquility filling your senses. In a few brief moments, you’ve relaxed your tension, lowered your stress, disconnected your frustration and learned to appreciate your situation from a calmer and more rational perspective. Do you know what this state of being is called? We refer to it as being in control of yourself and it’s an extraordinarily useful trait to develop.

Every setback means you're one step closer to seeing the dream come to pass.

-?????? Joel Osteen

Like all worthwhile behaviours, this shift in attitude benefits enormously from regular practice. The idea is to repeat the shoulder-release and deeper breathing until they become automatic. The fact is that most of our reactions are a product of deeply-conditioned behaviours that can be exchanged and upgraded for much happier and more positive responses. We’re referring here to sets of potent emotional reactions that need to be tamed and re-directed so that we can learn to exercise much greater control over how we feel. This is one of the great benefits of mindfulness. You get to choose how you feel.

The sense of distance that arises from a deliberate release of the old stress response changes everything. Your perspective engages a clearer and wider view of the situation and your creativity is significantly enhanced.? When you can see things more clearly, you’re much more likely to find ways to resolve or overcome the challenges. And, if there’s nothing to be done about the situation, you still have access to rich array of positive alternatives. You can choose to relax and enjoy a very welcome period of relaxation, deeper breathing and a natural state of deep inner peace.

Without setbacks and mistakes, no experience. Without experience, no learning. And without learning, you'll never truly understand the awakening of your heart's desires.

-?????? Robbie Vorhaus

In many ways, it’s the sense of detachment that equips us most effectively to deal with life’s inevitable setbacks and those uninvited interruptions to our well-laid plans.

In simple terms, our mission is to learn to focus our energy and attention on our goals rather than on our difficulties. Resolving obstructions and obstacles in the pursuit of our dreams will resonate more powerfully with our determination to make our goals a reality. It’s a markedly different approach to how you deal with life’s challenges.

Banishing fear, doubt, anger and frustration, abandoning the habit of feeling like the eternal victim, choosing to remain powerfully detached from the problems whilst powerfully focused on achieving your aims – these are the ingredients for a life-enhancing and very personal state of empowerment. Imagine how different your life will be when you rise above the limitations and break free from your old boundaries. This is the pathway to fulfilment and a higher degree of control over your life and your destiny.

Give yourself a break. Stop beating yourself up! Everyone makes mistakes, has setbacks and failures. You don't come with a book on how to get it right all the time. You will fail sometimes, not because you planned to, but simply because you're human. Failure is a part of creating a great life. Stand up to it and handle it with grace. Because, you can.

-?????? Les Brown

Make a clear and powerful commitment to free yourself from this moment from anything that might constrain your quest for success and personal fulfilment. Because you deserve to have everything you’re willing to strive for.

If you enjoy these blogs, you can imagine how much fun it is to have Greg in the room as an inspirational and highly perceptive speaker. If you’d like to invite Greg to talk to your company or organisation or event, either in person or via a live link on the Internet, feel free to get in touch.

You can contact Greg and his Team at:

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