How do you deal with a setback?

Hands up. Who has been having a great run of things going well - targets hit, deals moving forward, pipeline filling up - then whack, Something happens that completely takes the wind out of your sails. In some parts of the country it would be described as having your plate of chips p*ssed on.

It is at this point when you get to find out what you are really made of. I would love to write about all the times I have been knocked off my rails of success, brushed it off and cracked on without a second thought. Slight problem - if I did write that, I would be lying. It is one of the biggest personal challenges I face, If things go wrong, I immediately slip into the mindset of 'Why have I allowed that to happen?'...'How did you not think of that beforehand?' These thoughts then get in the way of thinking logically and objectively about a solution to whatever the problem is. So here I am, ready to research, learn and implement some tried and tested techniques on how to not feel like the world is going to end whenever life throws you a little curveball.

Rational Thinking

Such an easy concept. A bit like golf. Swing slow, hit through the ball. easy work. Get on the course - swing at 120mph, hands all over the place, the hardest game in the world. Something goes wrong? It's happened now - wishing it hadn't is lovely and comforting but also a complete waste of time. Replace your emotion with rational reflection. Be objective. Think logically. If you’re feeling embarrassed about what’s happened (oh how I can resonate with this - what if everyone thinks I'm a fraud/failure) and try to set this aside so it doesn’t affect your thought processes.

Ask yourself: What are the implications in reality?

You’re likely to find that the implications aren’t anything like as bad as you thought (If you need further reassurance then a good question to ask yourself is whether anyone was killed or injured - if not then calm yourself down). There might even be positives that you can gain from the setback. Have the self-discipline to force yourself to explore this possibility. What can you learn from it (to stop it happening again)?

Reflect and Analyse

Crisis - Greek origin. Literal meaning - 'a moment to decide'. So basically even when the worst happens, the Greek Gods are giving you a bit of breathing space. Cheers Zeus, it's appreciated.

So, let’s say you lost out on a key deal. To stop it happening again, you need to work out why. Take some time to reflect in detail on the experience. Be as specific as you can; it’s not enough to just think ‘I didn’t price it competitively enough’ or ‘the customer must have already made up their mind’.

You need to get to the bottom of “WHY” you weren't commercially competitive and “WHY” the customer preferred the competition. If you can find the answers to these questions you’ve got something tangible you can act on to stop it happening again.

Then decide what you actually need to do to address the situation. Is there any immediate fall-out from the failure? If so, do you need to act quickly or do you have time on your side?

Now write down your plan of action. This gives you clarity. A recorded plan is more likely to happen than an imagined one.

Compare and Contrast

If Jeremy Kyle was still a thing, I would point you in the direction of the ITV Player and say 'have a quick watch and make yourself feel a million dollars'. Unfortunately that isn't possible now so try this instead.

Talk about what went wrong with your peers. The benefit of speaking to others is that you often learn something about the problems of others - and this helps to bring your own issues back into relation to reality.

For example, if the person you are talking to is currently facing the same or even bigger problems, this can be quite relieving - after all, there are not only other people who also have problems, but even people who have even bigger problems. Phew.

So there we are. Next time the wheels come off, refer back to this post. It should help to keep you from feeling like you want to give up when in reality you are still winning at life.

Have a great week!