How Do You Deal With Insecurity?

Nobody Can Walk With Their Dirty Feet On Our Minds Unless We Let Them!

There is accent bias/ discrimination.

3 days ago when going live on my TikTok, the troller started pointing out accent and said "non-English speaking coach". I said, " The fact that I can speak multiple languages, I am proud of me". I used to ignore trollers during live, this was my first attempt at addressing trolling during live. Can we normalize the accent?

When we know our insecurities and learn to accept them, we evolve!

I was given access to LinkedIn live very earlier on but had self-doubt about speaking in public due to my accent. I killed my insecurity by showing up live weekly. I still get trollers on my YouTube channel and LinkedIn live who focus on my accent. The launching of a YouTube channel to provide free career tips has helped me with insecurity. I am blessed to be invited as a guest speaker by people/media who reach out to me after seeing the videos/ content.

LinkedIn has launched the #linkedInAudioLive, I am hosting the events as a first group early beta tester. I plan to host regularly and don't have to worry about absurd comments made on live. Follow me to get a notification for LinkedIn audio live.

"If you have an accent, any type of accent, according to the people that are rating and judging the person, they will consider you less believable," Dr. Marc Pell is a professor at McGill University’s School of Communication Sciences and Disorders.

How do you measure communication skills?

When I got promoted to the leadership role, I was always rated low on communication skills during performance reviews which impacted the salary increase. That is when I started feeling bias and discrimination. No matter how the results were, they always came back with communication skills as an area of opportunity. I did have a gap but didn't know how to improve. To improve on ESL, I started watching lots of TV serials, News and focused on practicing the Canadian accent. I picked a handful of mentors and asked them to observe my communication skills during presentations/ meetings. We debriefed and worked on what went well and what to do differently. Right mentors are those who stretched you and believe in you. My confidence spiked up from being an attendee to leading meetings in a room full of senior leadership teams. One day my white boss said " who did this, it is not your presentation " I was shocked. My boss later took the credit for the entire work. I guess it was a compliment?

Another manager took pride in being grammar police, my emails were asked to be forwarded to my boss to check on grammar before I could send them out to the floor. I think my immigrant manager was trying to help but I took it as an insult to my injury. It takes trust to coach and we hadn't built the trust yet. I sucked it up and followed the instructions for months. At least, I started to proofread more. Last year, I co-authored the book which became Amazon's bestseller.

This year I am invited to Women In leadership Conference as a Guest Speaker. Who cares about accent right?

Emoji in emails?

One incident destroyed my self-esteem when I added emoji to the end of the email to the Director in the different departments. Seems like the director didn't like the way I signed off the email with emoji. My manager coached me on email etiquette. I went above and beyond and solved the client's escalation which went all the way to the CEO on Sunday morning but they saw was emoji with excitement??. I am still haunted by that memory whenever using emoji. What are your thoughts on using emoji?

Soft skills/people skills are used as a loophole sometimes

I am a direct person, I have had to adjust the leadership style based on the other's personality. Usually, women are labelled as bossy when they are direct but men are seen as a leader with the same approach. Not many people can handle direct feedback. I have screwed up when giving feedback to rejected candidates. Soft skills were in my area of development. I have gotten in trouble for being too honest and blunt. I don't recall getting trained on soft skills or biases ever. I just had to figure my way out when leading a team what works individually. Soft skills like adaptability, teamwork, conflict resolution, problem-solving etc could be inherited and developed based on the environment. I had to adapt my people skills based on others.

I remember getting promoted to the role where I had to manage the toughest and most unmotivated team. Noone was a fan of that team but I had to manage them out somehow. I learned so much as a person and a manager from the role. There are things I would never do now as a manager. People have resigned on me and I remember celebrating their resignations but those people taught me good lessons as a leader. The lesson once my mentor said, if you want people to leave, micromanage the hell out. People do leave bosses! they deserved a better leader than me.

As a leader, we need to have soft skills but letting people walk all over me is not my cup of tea. I am willing to have the toughest conversation with the fact without sugar-coating. I am a type-A personality and dealing with another type A is a nightmare. Soft skills could be your habit and traits built over the year of practice. I have been hearing that immigrants lack soft skills therefore they are not getting hired as a newcomer to Canada. I personally don't think the Canadian experience is all about soft skills. How do you measure soft skills?

I have hired many immigrants and candidates born in Canada. People born in Canada lack soft skills too. Soft skills are sometimes their personality. All of us as humans need soft skills in life not only immigrants. Nobody teaches you how to communicate or develop soft skills in the corporate world but expects you to figure it out. My advice is to be self-aware and start working on the areas of opportunities. Do the SWOT analysis on yourself. Ask people around about the perception they have about you. Get a 360 feedback and put an action plan to develop the soft skills based on the targeted role. Try this free template for the survey. Here are free personality tests.

Employers do not normally search for employees on the ATS, LinkedIn, Indeed with the keyword of soft skills. I have never used soft skills filters when hiring. Soft skills are usually identified during interviews but it is hard to measure. As a hiring manager for over a decade, I can feel the vibe during interviews and the way you answer questions with examples. I won't know your personality/ traits until you start working with me. It is your attitude that makes you forever employable. If you are in a leadership role, your job is not to be liked and be a people pleaser. People are usually not bad but they are in the wrong role or life happened to them. Set them up for success by effective coaching, not by emailing them and copying 3 other leaders. I have worked with managers like that who think coaching is emailing and copying senior management when an employee does something wrong. Coaching/ feedback happens in a closed room and a pat on the shoulder happens in front of everyone.

I have limited spots on my One Size Doesn't Fit All, Job Search Strategy mentoring program. Let's talk if you are getting rejected with BS feedback/ coaching that doesn't make sense.

Don't let your ESL, Accent, Age, Colour, Gender, Soft skills hold you back. You got this!

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Sweta Regmi is a hiring manager from award-winning companies turned Founder and CEO at Teachndo, a Certified Career and Résumé Strategist. Regmi was named Top Job Search Expert and Top Career Advisor to follow on LinkedIn. Her insights have been featured in Prime-time news such as CBC National, Global National, CNBC, Wall Street Journal, HuffPost, City News, CTV, The Globe and Mail, Forbes, LinkedIn News, indeed, Career Conferences, and over 100+ top media. Regmi is also the Amazon Best Seller of 21 Resilient Women: Stories of Courage, Growth, and Transformation. The book has been recognized by libraries, ministers, and MPs in Canada.?Her RBC Canadian Women Entrepreneur Awards nomination by Women of Influence in 2022 and 2023, CPC Awards of Excellence 2023, and Outstanding Career Professional:?HONOURABLE MENTION further demonstrates her success as a recognized career expert in Canada.