How do you compare?

Do you constantly compare yourself to others and come up short? Are your peers more successful, more attractive, and happier than you are? Do you find yourself endlessly scrolling social media and feeling bad about yourself?

In today’s interconnected world, making comparisons with others is a common, almost instinctive habit. But comparing yourself to others is detrimental to your mental health and overall well-being.

When I see intact “happy” families spending time together in person or online, I feel sorry for myself for being a single mom with a “broken” family ?? These comparisons make me jealous. With these images of what a family is supposed to look like in my mind, I feel sad as I lay out only three placemats at the dinner table.

Do comparisons make you feel inadequate and insecure too?

This behavior, rooted in your natural inclination to evaluate your progress, can distort your self-perception. We tend to compare our behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel, especially on social media platforms where people showcase their best moments. This skewed comparison overlooks the full context of your life, setting unrealistic standards for yourself ??

When you make comparisons, your judge saboteur ?? is activated. Your judge constantly evaluates and finds faults, not just in yourself, but in others as well. Your Judge thrives on comparisons, perpetuating a cycle of negative self-talk and judgment. It convinces you that you aren’t enough, leading to anxiety, depression, and a pervasive sense of dissatisfaction.

So how can you stop comparing?

???? Practice gratitude: a habit of gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have. By regularly acknowledging the positive aspects of your life, you can weaken the judge’s influence and boost your contentment.

?? Limit social media usage: while social media connects you, it also serves as a breeding ground for comparisons. Limiting time spent on these platforms can reduce exposure to curated portrayals of perfection. Consider following accounts that promote authenticity and self-acceptance instead of those that trigger envy and self-doubt.

??? Focus on your journey: everyone’s path is unique. Remind yourself that your progress and achievements are valid, regardless of how they compare to others. Set personal goals that align with your values and celebrate your milestones, no matter how small they seem.

????♀? Practice mindfulness: mindfulness helps you stay grounded in the present moment. Techniques such as meditation and deep-breathing exercises can anchor you, reducing the impulse to compare and judge.

? Seek positive influences: surround yourself with supportive and uplifting people who encourage your growth and well-being. Positive relationships can provide perspective and reinforce a healthy self-image.

While it’s natural to make comparisons, it’s crucial to recognize the harm they can cause. By implementing strategies to break this habit, you can weaken your judge’s power and foster a more compassionate and fulfilling view of yourself.

Embrace your unique journey, celebrate your progress, and remember that you are enough just as you are ??

Lots of love,

-Anna