How do you choose to respond?Lessons learnt from being on a email distribution list.

When we’re reading about a certain topic, we tend to see everything that happens around us in that light, don't we? That's what happened to me after I received a software maintenance email yesterday. Reading everyone's responses to that email made me speculate on various ways we respond or CHOOSE to respond to an unpleasant experience.

Why the curious connection between a seemingly inconsequential incident and human responses? I've started reading articles on how leaders respond in a crisis situation after being subjected to some bizarre responses lately. So I've got that lens on for a while.

Here's what happened: An email on software maintenance ‘Unavailable until further notice’ was sent to 1000+ employees in the distribution list. After the first hour, when many hit ‘Reply all’ with a ‘please remove me from the distribution list’ message...it got interesting.

"You found this interesting? Really? Do you need some help, Manasi? with leadership skills? Coaching? or perhaps, maintaining your sanity?"

Don't judge me now. It was one of those days and believe me, things are easier to handle when you learn to have fun and enjoy the cards you're dealt with. Now play along with the situational humor.

1. Many reacted and responded: ‘please take me off the list’. Yes, they also hit ‘Reply All’. Soon, they had friends ‘please remove me from the list as well’. Reaction time varied from a few seconds to few hours. They must have had a bad day for they didn’t read the instructions and proceeded to flood others inboxes. Needless to say, they’ll still be on the distribution list. Perhaps a pause before reacting would be good next time, don't you think?

2. A statistically significant number of people didn’t respond. They probably deleted the email and 'let go' or cussed or ‘hung around’ to see how others respond. Who cares and Why bother responding? The many faces of learned helplessness...At least for those that know they need to stay on the list. What do you say? ....Nah! don't feel obligated to answer.

3. Then, my favorite group responded. They cracked jokes, shared gifs and tried to make it fun for all. I know because they also hit "Reply All"... and secretly, I'm glad they did. “Please add an electrical charge to the "Reply All" button for those that hit it”, said one, and he found followers. The messages were hilarious and gave me a much needed laugh. Sense of humor does help in difficult situations. Wonder if others appreciated it too?

4. One person tried to spread sunshine: ‘Just thought that everyone could use a little positivity. Happy Tuesday everyone’. (I feel sorry for you my friend, I know you have to be on that distribution list. Keep the Sun shining... and get off that list as soon as you're able).

5. Then there were the angry ‘DO YOU PEOPLE REALIZE....’ messages. I pity those that will bear the brunt of this anger. They must've had a bad day as well ...but I hope they know what effect their response can have on others. DO YOU THINK THEY WILL REALIZE?

6. While other email list owners laid low, a fearless leader emerged and responded with detailed instructions on how to get off the list. More power to her. Speak your mind, fearless leader. Wish we could see you while we read your emails...have to stretch our imagination to match words with the non-verbal communication you see. Can't guarantee that all the time.

7. She found followers who sent messages 2-10 sentences long. One even created a mini manual with screenshots with detailed instructions. We obviously hired the right person for education and correspondence. Now its up to the others to allow themselves to be helped by her response. She got the horse to the water...but I wonder if thats what the horse wanted? Hmm...food for thought.

....And then there was one, who learnt from others responses, decided to use and share the knowledge, and asked to be removed from the distribution list.

So long my friends. I was lucky I could get off of this one...but I’m sure I’ll see you on another distribution list.

Until then, you have time to CHOOSE your response. What will you choose? 

Thanks for reading.

Manasi