How do you choose to present yourself?

When working with Personal Branding I usually ask people to present themselves in 5 minutes or less. The choices they make in this exercise tell me (and the group we are usually in) a lot about each person. 

 “Mother of two” is quite common, as well as “Engineering graduate”, “executive for the past 20 years”, “passionate about photography”… and the list goes on, revealing the pieces of narrative that person chooses define his/her own self. 

There is usually a desire to be accepted, recognized, praised, or simply not be rejected behind this choice. 

 After all, isn't Personal Branding about shining light in the aspects that will help us thrive? In many ways, yes. 

 But introductions also have the intention of connecting people and breaking initial barriers. So when choosing what to highlight we often pick facts that are considered socially acceptable, in the specific culture we are in at that moment.

 That means that even in the same country, city, and neighborhood, at work I might present myself differently than at my children’s school. In doing so, I believe I’m accelerating acceptance. What happens, in fact, is that I lose connection. 

 Why? Because we all live under the umbrella of “cultural conditioning”, which means we kind of “know” what to say and do. This list of introductions I initially reported rarely changes much…in other words: we are commodities.

 Having been invited to attend the ACTO Conference on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, I had the chance to be presented to new way of meeting new people.

 Cultural Introduction is a methodology that invites people to try a new way of getting to know one another. By substituting the classic question "Tell me who you are" for “What identities are significant to you that you want to share?” we encourage people to jump over the regular assumptions on what that answer should be and to go deeper into the aspects they believe truly define themselves. By asking peple to start by "I identify myself as..." we open space to let people define themselves by who they believe they are, not who they believe they should be.

A small change in the question, that makes a huge difference. 

 Adding “One thing you value from one of your cultural identities is...” takes it even further, exploring in depth the aspects that make us, us.

 At one point in the conference I was sent to a breakout room with a Dutch woman to try this exercise. In less than 5 minutes we realized that growing up as immigrant descendants in our native countries had a huge impact on who we are, even though we come from continentally separated countries. I usually don’t share this fact, for no other reason than believing other aspects about me might be more relevant for having people to know me better.

 Culture is a normal thing. Regardless the group one identifies with, we are immersed in its practices and beliefs, even if we are not aware of it. You might not realize that your culture is friendly until you find yourself in an unfriendly culture, for example.

 Culture conditioning is defined by groups that historically decide who belongs and who doesn’t. Based on it, we decide who is "in" and who is "out".

 In regular introductions our nature is to try to fit to some aspect of the culture we are in. And to look in others for aspects in which we are alike.

 But Cultural Introductions may raise opposites. So why focus on differences instead of similarities? 

 Well, because people have different experiences, and it is based on these particularities, that set us apart, that we define our true selves. In embracing them we become more capable of truly establishing strong human connections. 

 During the conference I also had the opportunit to reflect not only about the historically "excluded" groups I personally belong to, but to also realize how many historically "included" groups I also do belong to: management, formally educated, dominant religion, adult, abled-bodied, cisgender, native born, native speaker… In doing so, I had the chance to recognize the strengths that come from each of these traits.

 So, if inclusion represents the end result of recognizing, understanding, appreciating, and leveraging differences at the personal, interpersonal, institutional, and cultural levels, how do we use this recently acquired knowledge in a practical way?

Cultural introduction may be a powerful tool to help consultants, trainers, and facilitators to give a step forward in integrating groups. There’s no right or wrong of doing it. It’s a way of expanding the self and getting to know someone quickly in depth.

 The path passes through Recognizing → Understanding → Appreciating → Utilizing Differences. In honoring these differences, and also finding unexpected similarities, we take concrete actions to co-create a shift from monoculturalism to pluralism, moving towards the real meaning of the word “Inclusion”.