How Do You Bounce Back from a Career Set Back or Rejection?

We’ve all been there–the unfair review, the missed promotion, or the project that didn’t get traction. Rejection and setbacks are a part of all of our careers, and we don’t talk about this enough! It’s fun to discuss the wins, but not so much on the losses. A boss early in my career told me she’d seen first hand where poorly handled feedback or reviews resulted in a loss of weeks or months of no productivity. Accurate!

However, one thing is clear. What matters with a setback is what you do next–how can you use this as fuel to improve rather than making it the thing that holds you back or traps you in a past version of yourself? Resilience and adaptability become your friends. You might be able to gain a new skill, lean in to your strengths even harder, switch jobs, or change bosses if you turn the bad thing into an opportunity. Let’s see what our experts around the globe have to say!

TikTok Creator Communities Lead Harman Jeet Kaur Says Sometimes the People Who Reject You or Set You Back Can Become Your Closest Allies

As someone who’s older Gen Z working in tech, my Linkedin profile shows the highlight reel and not the setbacks and rejections behind it. Each time I take a coffee chat call from students and connections on LinkedIn, one thing I like to remind them is setbacks are normal, a part of the process, and a sign that you’re on the path toward success. I went from facing rejections and setbacks to working alongside those same companies in future webinars, launching successful projects, and offering those same companies guidance. Setbacks and rejections don’t stop when you get the job, and there are 3 ways I bounce back from setbacks at work now.

Learn and Grow

Take a moment to acknowledge the setback, process it, and then see how you can grow from that experience. Learn from the experiences and use them to your advantage and have those experiences and skillsets become your future superpower. I’ve learned, especially in tech, that being adaptable, agile, and open to feedback is the key to growth and success.

Connections in the workplace

Find mentors in the workplace to help build a strong foundation for growth and feedback. I either try to seek out others who are strong in areas I received tough feedback from or I try to model myself after friends and colleagues who I’m inspired by in meetings/presentations. They can end up being my mentors unofficially. During my time at TikTok, I found Christen Nino Guzman and Kudzi Chikumbu to be my unofficial mentors and resources.

Strategy time

Now that you have taken a moment to acknowledge the feedback, connect with mentors and go over the setback, it’s time to strategize and put your best foot forward. This could look different for many people (ex: asking for help, posting in LinkedIn learning groups, asking questions, etc). To me, it’s going the extra route and asking others for feedback and ideas. In the past for projects I wanted to push forward, I would set up 1:1 meetings with people I wanted to work with, ask others such as creators for further additional feedback, or even create a brief pitch deck/sample mockup to factor in previous setbacks and where I and the team can do better with the new learnings.

Last, for all 3 steps above, always lead with kindness. You never know who you're going to work with in the future. Personally, when I faced rejections/setbacks in the workplace or even when applying for jobs, I kept in close touch with those colleagues and teammates. I've probably met the most fascinating, kind, and innovative people from past setbacks and rejections.

Lisa McLeod, Keynote Speaker, Exec Advisor, and Author of Selling with Noble Purpose Advises Giving Your Body Permission to Respond

Whether it’s not getting the desperately wanted promotion, blowing your big presentation, or being told by your boss that you’re just not cutting it, we’ve all had setbacks. Sometimes it feels like an out of body moment: your face is smiling as you try to respond professionally, but the burning flush spreading across your ever-tightening chest is letting you know this is horrible. 

So what do you do next? The first thing you want to do is give your body permission to respond. The sting of anger, resentment, embarrassment, etc. is sitting in your body and you need to release it. Get yourself out of the public eye and wallow for at least 24 hours. Dance out your rage, go for a run, roll around on the floor moaning about how terrible it is. This will clear your head. 

The second thing you want to do is demonstrate your resilience to your team and leaders. That means congratulating the person who got the job, asking calmly (since your rage has been released) what you could do differently next time, etc. Once you have a clear lay of the land, then you can spend some time alone asking yourself, ‘What do I want to do next?’  Be open to the idea that this seemingly horrible setback may be pointing you in a new direction. For me, surviving a business loss and bankruptcy, while horrible, jumpstarted what proved to be the most exciting phase of my career. 

KB Logistics Business Analyst Mercy Gituro Looks for Where She Can Grow

I would seek feedback on how to do it better next time, or what I can do to avoid failing again. This is not a time to play the blame game no matter how unfair it might seem; I put the blame aside and consider whether I may have inadvertently contributed to the set back.  Ask questions, network with other teams, watch and learn from them and always have a hunger or passion to learn more and get better.  It is not a time to take it personally, as this allows me not to attach my emotions to my future performance.

It's a good time to be open to alternatives, even if it means doing things that are not in my comfort zone, while maintaining a cheerful outlook.  I will ask myself what the experience teaches me, would there have been a different way of approaching the feedback or failure.

It is very important to acknowledge any mistakes and turn them into lessons, as a mistake made more than twice tends not to seem like a mistake to others. I also like to remember my best teacher is my last mistake. It also helps to reflect on myself as I maybe going through something personal that unconsciously affects how I am showing up or how I am responding to others. Finally, sometimes it helps to take time off, if possible, as burnout affects our performance.

LinkedIn Talent Leader Charlotte Lee Uses a Framework to Move Forward

There is a framework I use to pick myself up and bounce back – Acknowledge, Reframe, Grow  

• Acknowledge. It is often the first step (and the hardest) to accept the setback, rejection, or tough feedback given. It’s harder when you least expect it, and so easy to find fault with the situation or person delivering the news to you. I personally find it effective when I acknowledge the rejection/setback and allow time for myself to process the feeling. It is a similar process as grieving, where you will need to accept the loss of something you desired. 
• Reframe. Once I’ve accepted the setback, I start to reflect on what I have done, what I could have done better, and how I can start developing a learning plan to improve. Talk to your mentor, co-workers, or friends to get different perspectives. With that, I can then focus on identifying the opportunities to improve, which allows me to reframe my mind to focus on the important lessons I can learn.  
• Grow. Use this opportunity to move forward and be better: solidify your learning plan and seek to understand how you can grow. Look for proactive feedback to make sure that you won’t have the same setback again down the road. With this, you get to build resilience to get through difficult times. 

Remember to always show yourself kindness and grace. It is important to forgive ourselves and let go of what we can’t control. Setbacks, rejections, and tough feedback happen, but if you focus on what you can get out of the experience, you are on your journey in becoming a better person every day!

Now What?

That advice feels like a warm hug to me–how about you? If you’d like to learn more on this topic, check out our LinkedIn Learning courses:

Resilience Strategies for Optimal Performance

Overcoming Rejection

How to Use Rejection to Your Advantage

The Joy of Missing Out (JOMO)

Overcoming Obstacles for Promotion

 As always, we’re yours in making workplaces better for women!