How Do You Avoid Drowning?
Paul Drury
Storytelling Consulting to Elevate the Luxury Hotel Guest Experience - Invite me on a Storytelling Stay to Discover Your SQ
When things don’t go quite right, I tend to lose it a little bit.... I struggle to grapple with the dialogue in my head – my present is ruled by my past and terrorized by my future in equal measure. I find it hard to find who I am today without trying to change the past me and avoid the future me. My inner compass goes haywire, and I drown in my thoughts – literally.
I have been struggling with this all my life, and I don’t think that I am alone.
There is nothing more important than remaining true to yourself when life is hard. You need to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say “we’ll get through this, and we’ll be stronger for it.†That requires clarity of thought, but, at such times, it is often so hard to achieve.
Sometimes, the stimuli for this clarity are external.
I read books when times get tough; I talk things through with friends and family; I watch every inspirational film going. You look at yourself through a different lens and sometimes things become clearer.
However, there is one thing that helps me most of all.... These days I just go to the beach (well, mudflats) where I live to skim stones.
It is such a basic activity, but when I focus on it utterly, things tend to fall into place. Finding the best stones becomes a mission. Waiting for the right gap in the waves is a game in itself. The angle and force of the throw is unique to every stone, and that first impact always dictates the following few. A skimming stone is a thing of beauty, and it never ceases to return me to the joy of my childhood.
From that happy place, I remember all the times when I have done something similar. It might have been a canal in St Petersburg, a pond in Moscow, a fjord in Norway or a river in Frankfurt.... I may have had to make momentous decisions, life may just have dealt me a terrible hand, I may just have been a little sad….
Each time I have skimmed those stones and felt better about myself. Then I got on with life and sorted whatever was bothering me. I’ve always done it and I always will. I reconnect with my resilience. I remind myself that I can do it because I have done it before.
Every time, I try to beat my record of 22 stone skips. That happened on a tranquil Norwegian fjord. I was deciding whether or not I wanted to stay in a relationship with my Russian girlfriend (who was later to become my wife).
When I am 80, I will still be skimming stones. That is my salvation.
What stops you from drowning?
Hospitality and Event Marketing Professional
9 å¹´I turn to music. Nice article!
Property Consultant @ Retail Market Practise - B.Com(Hons), MA, SIIRSM - Property Marketing Professional with humane freelance Stress Reduction to future-proof your assets while de-stressing people & spaces Today!
10 å¹´Go feed the ducks & swans, i.e. focus on something inane to clear your head
Founder & Managing Partner at THE PERFECT 1 ONE PARTNERS
10 å¹´AH !!... not all can I appreciate it, one needs to have gone through the lows to understand this. Very well said Paul, yes it helps to skim stones in those moments.
Lead Project Manager - Unified Communications - IPT Transitions and Transformations at BASF
10 å¹´Thanks for sharing your story Paul. The best way of not drowning is to learn how to swim this is a simple ZEN wisdom. Many things that impact our life are often just interpreted as negative, just because we do not like the consequences, because we have no control over the situation, because we are not able and capable of seing th ewhole picture when things happen. Finding the inner balance by whatever non-destuctive means, e.g. such as chipping stones, is a great method. I hope your story inspires many readers to find their way, and remember what helelps them to swim in troubled waters.