How Do We Persevere Through Fear?

If you had no fear, what goals and aspirations would you pursue in life? Would you finally make that big move to a new city that you’ve been planning for ages? Would you finally ask for the number of that person you’ve secretly had your eye on? Would you finally go after that promotion that you feel you’ve been rightfully deserving of? If you had no fear, how much differently would your life look today?

Most of us believe that life would be much easier for us if we had no fear. Yet, what we need to realize is that this is not a practical desire.

None of us are without fear. Doubt and apprehension creep in even for the most confident among us whenever we venture into uncharted territory. Thus, our desire in life should not be to be able to completely eliminate the feeling of fear, but to understand where it is coming from so that we can neutralize its paralyzing effects on us and persevere towards our goals and aspirations.

My objective with this article is to provide you with that understanding. Once armed with this knowledge, you would then be in the very powerful position of being able to consciously choose not to take ownership of that fear so that you can stay the course and realize your ambitions.

• Where do our fears come from?
• Why are our fears so hard to overcome?
• How do we overcome our fears?

Where do our fears come from?

Ladies and gentlemen, fear is a socially contracted disease.

You contract your variation from whatever segments of society you willfully accept information from without discernment. Meaning that, if your mother and father have certain fears programmed into their mindset and you embrace that mindset without discernment, then their fears will become your fears. If your peers have certain fears programmed into their mindsets and you adopt those mindsets without discernment, then their fears will become your fears. If you are reading the newspaper, watching the news, a movie, a tv show, or scrolling through social media and there are certain strains of fear contained within that information, which you simply embrace without discernment, then that information will infect you and those fears will become your fears.

Is there a perfectly logical argument to be made for why those fears are justified? Are there documented experiences that can be used as evidence to support the assertion that certain circumstances do pose an actual threat to you and your well-being? Yes and yes. Are any of those things any of your business? Absolutely not. That is someone else’s life experience, not yours! And it will remain that way as long as you mind your business.

Learn to empathize for others without adopting their pain and suffering. We were not placed here to suffer. We truly were not. Suffering is the product of an over-inflated ego. What you will come to find in life is that the people who suffer the least are the ones with the smallest egos. Conversely, the people who suffer the most are the ones with the biggest egos.

Why is this?

Here are some traits that characterize a big ego:

• A sense of entitlement
• Selfishness
• An inability to accept the role you have played in your own misfortune
• An inability to move on from the past
• Overly sensitive or easily triggered
• Risk aversion/A fear of failure
• Being judgmental and critical of others
• A poor mental attitude

You look at that list of traits and you realize that those people are in prison. Their bodies may be free but they have imposed so many limitations on their minds that their physical reality feels hyper-restrictive. And because physical reality feels so restrictive to them, it reinforces their ego’s attachment to the list of things previously mentioned. It becomes a viscous cycle because ego only seeks to reaffirm what it already thinks and believes is true; and the way life works is if you seek it, then ye shall find it.

Some self-centered, egotistical individual is walking around at this very moment thinking that they are some kind of clairvoyant with a highly intelligent intuition when the truth of the matter is that life is simply molding and adapting itself to their limitations. If we do not want to challenge ourselves to grow beyond our ego, then fine! Life will just continue feeding that ego back to us until we learn how to take accountability for the circumstances it has created, and begin improving our character. It is that simple.

Why are our fears so hard to overcome?

As was mentioned, life supports whatever beliefs we choose to have. The one constant in life is freedom of choice. Yes, I understand that there is evidence to support fear of being black in America, fear of breathing in public without a mask on, or fear of being an ambitious, self-confident woman who is comfortable with her sexuality and does not allow society’s discomfort with this dictate how she lives her life, but accepting that evidence as the basis for how you live your life is still a choice. I know this may be hard to believe for many, but you actually can choose not to accept that evidence as the building blocks that you use to construct your individual interpretation of reality. Will this be challenging? Yes. But that is the job. Did we think that we were here merely to eat, drink, sleep, make love, work to earn a living for 40 years, and then die?! No! We have a purpose to fulfill! And that purpose is to undo as much of the ignorance that we perpetuated in our past lives so that we can pave the way for others to have a better life experience.

The circumstances that we were born into were not random. We earned them. Everything in life is earned. Nothing is happenstance or unfortunate coincidence. Any present misfortune that we are experiencing is the result of an accumulation of past mistakes yet to be atoned for from previous lifetimes, plus this one. We cannot blame our mother. We cannot blame our father either. They are in the same hell that we are in. Their karma is consistent with ours, which is why the three of us were grouped together. We are a reflection of both our mother and our father. Therefore, in order for us to overcome the likeness that they are projecting onto us, we must project a different likeness back at them. We must meet their energy with the opposite form of that energy. If they are cold and distant, we must be warm and attentive. If they have poor communication skills, then we must become better communicators. If they are vindictive and spiteful, then we must be forgiving and kind. The point is that if we do not become better then we simply repeat the cycle.

Our parents developed those unhealthy character traits due to fear, and it is fear that keeps those traits deeply ingrained in them.

Why?

Because they are afraid that when they attempt to become warm and attentive, when they attempt to become better communicators, when they attempt to become kind and forgiving, that that energy is not going to be reciprocated. They are afraid that people are going to take advantage of them. They have a sense of entitlement. They want a reward for being a good person. They want a cookie. A lot of us want a cookie for being a good person, and that is why we are turning into our mother and our father.

It is so difficult for us to overcome our fears because all of our immediate influences are examples of what happens when you don’t overcome your fears. Most of us do not have anyone in our lives who can show us what it looks like when you actually push yourself to become better despite everything in your life provoking you to become worse.

For most of us, all we have in our lives are examples of people who didn’t persevere. They wanted to become better, they wanted to not give into their fears, however as soon as the going got tough, they folded. They accepted their misery. A lot of us are accepting our misery because we inherited our mother and father’s lack of perseverance. We inherited our mother and father’s lack of commitment to becoming a better person.

Sure we want love in our lives, but when life tells us that sometimes we have to love people better than they know how to love us, we decide that’s too much work. Sure we want a better way of earning a living, but when life tells us that for a while we are going to have to give the people more than they give us, we decide that it’s not worth it. Sure we want to not be limited by our fears, but when life tells us that in order to do that we are going to have to have faith in some things that we cannot see at the moment, we decide that’s too much to ask. We decide that our faith is not that strong.

Thus, you see, it all comes down to us. Life is ready whenever we are.

How do we overcome our fears?

As I just stated, it all comes down to us.

We are going to have to love better than we are being loved. We are going to have to give better than we are being given. We are going to have to have faith in things that currently do not actually exist. That is how we overcome our fears.

As we have established, any misfortunate circumstance in our present reality is an accumulation of consequences we have earned based off of previous choices from past lifetimes up until now. Those choices have placed our ledger with the universe at a deficit. We have to account for that deficit. Now, does this mean that we have to force ourselves to remain in situations where we are being mistreated and underappreciated? Not at all. None of us ever have to do that. It does not matter if you were Jack the Ripper or Hitler in a past life—once you have the intelligence to start to feel as though you are not receiving fair value for your contributions, your debt is paid. You would not be able to want more if you had not evolved beyond the circumstances you presently find yourself in.

Intellectually, you have ascended to a higher vibration, which means that you have learned the lessons that your mistakes were meant to teach you, and are now ready to move on. However, even then some of us allow fear to come rearing its ugly head, and we keep ourselves in situations that are no longer necessary for our growth.

The reason why many of us are still in situations that we have outgrown is that we are afraid to claim our value. Value is a thing that actually has to be claimed. It has to be appropriated and given shape and form. It cannot just be some abstract concept in your mind. If someone were to ask you what your value was, how would you articulate that value in definite terms? For example, what are your main attributes as a person? Or, what are the main attributes that you aspire to have? I say ‘aspire to have’ because whether or not you currently represent the value that you wish to have is not important. What is important is that you claim that value. Once you claim it, your mind now has a clearly defined shape to mold itself into. The next phase of your life’s journey will be the process of you developing into that shape. As long as you do not change your mind, you do not quit, and you remain committed to the journey, you will become what you have claimed.

I am saying all of this to make the point that many of us need to get over ourselves. Consider that list once again that I gave earlier in reference to people with big egos. Many of us have egos that are entirely way too big, and they are getting in the way of us receiving the things that we want in life.

You are not cursed, and you do not have bad luck. If you have not received what you want, it is because you have not aligned with what you want. Meaning that what you want is not consistent with what you give. For example, you want unconditional love in your life, but you do things to the people who care about you that you would not want them to do to you.

What do I mean by this?

A great deal of us have people in our lives who, because they are not exactly what we want, we take them for granted and treat them like crap.

All of the single guys, and all of the single ladies reading this who talk about how it’s so hard to find the person that you want, the reason for that is because right now you have someone in your life who likes you and gives you the exact type of unconditional love, support and attention that you are looking for, but because the universe sent them to you in a form that does not check off all of your superficial requirements, you do not value and appreciate them the way that you should.

Well, let me tell you something: You failed the test.

The way the universe works is you have got to become it before you can receive it.

A lot of us are sitting back, saying to ourselves that we will become all the things that we want in a partner when we actually meet the person we want to be with, and we are fools! If we think that we are going to magically become something that we have not been just because we finally met the person that we want, we are sadly mistaken. Eventually we are going to sabotage that situation. The person we truly are, the one we have been consistently practicing being this entire time, is going to come out and ruin things. That is what those people in our lives, who we don’t really want but they give us the type of genuine, sincere love that we desire, are for.

Now, I am not telling you to sleep with these people, and I am definitely not telling you to lead them on. What I am telling you is to match their energy. Be very upfront and transparent with them and let them know that you only like them as a friend, but show them the same love that they show you. They are teaching you how to become the person that you want to attract.

There is a chapter on this in my book, ...In Your Likeness and Image, titled “Love the One You’re With” that explains this in much greater detail.

The bottom line is that the best way to combat fear is with courage! You have to be courageous enough to become the reflection of what you are afraid the world will not give back to you. The only stipulation is that you have to do this without any strings attached. Meaning that your continuing to be the person that you feel most comfortable with being is not contingent upon whether or not the world reflects that back to you. Eventually it will, but you have got to persist until being that person becomes so deeply ingrained in the fabric of who you are that it does not matter to you whether or not the world gives it back. You are not doing it for them. You are doing it for yourself! You are doing it because that is the type of person you are committed to being in life, and you are not going to allow any person or circumstance to force you to become different. That is it.

If you are afraid that the world will not be supportive and encouraging of you, then be supportive and encouraging of others. If you are afraid that the world will lie to you and cheat you, then be honest and fair with others. If you are afraid that you will not have the resources and connections to get your ideas off the ground, then be a resource and a connection for others. Stop sitting back and being afraid of life! Make the first move and be the example for how you want things to play out. Then challenge the world to match your energy.

Questions and answers:

Q: I find myself becoming more and more isolated from the world. People I had considered to be friends turned out to be shady and untrustworthy, and my relationships haven’t gone too well because my partners and I haven’t been able to connect with one another on a genuine level due to a lack of trust. All of this has made me afraid to open up to people. What can I do about this?

**Read the full article on my Patreon account