How do we have a good fight?

Today I want to talk about some of my favorite insights from a online Communication course I've recently completed, which refers to how we can manage conflict in a group in a healthy way and make the best of it! I have summarized below the main ideas.

Conflict is inevitable in every group and we need to know how we can navigate our differences and accomplish our objectives. People have different interests and motivations. We get emotional regarding things we care about and all of us are subject to personal biases. Unfortunately, some people respond by simply trying to avoid conflict or even giving up altogether. I admit this can be tempting because conflict is stressful and uncertain. But avoiding conflict or disengaging from your group just perpetuates the dysfunctionality, leading to a miserable experience at best or detrimental outcomes at worst.

The lack of conflict isn't harmony, it's apathy.

Conflict means people are engaged. Surfacing important differences. Challenging inferior decisions. Exposing harmful patterns and refining our thinking to develop better ideas. Any high performing group?will experience conflict on the way towards accomplishing their goals.

Overall, teams that are more successful are able to keep the conflict constructive and focused on the issues not letting things spiral into dysfunctional interpersonal conflict. Here are 6 tactics that can help to that regard:?

1. Work with MORE and not less information to develop a robust view. Too much information can be paralyzing, but when things get complicated, you need more data points!
2. Develop multiple alternatives to evaluate ideas (see things in relation to each other and bring in fresh new perspectives, interviews)
3. Have commonly agreed upon goals as a reference point and return to those every time conversation gets off track or too heated
4. Inject humor into deliberations - it creates space for everyone to calm down and reset. A witty remark, a self-deprecating or satirical comment, usually directed outside of our group helps defuse the conflict
5. Maintained a balanced power structure - when authority is balanced and transparent and everyone feels they can have their voice heard - conflict will lead to more constructive outcomes
6. Don't force consensus - progress can be made even if we don't have unanimous support for every idea. ?It's okay to maintain a healthy level of descent or tension in your group?decisions, especially if people see the process as fair.

Hopefully these tactics can also help you keep conflict constructive and focused on the issues not spiraling into dysfunctional interpersonal disputes!