How do we find our way back?

How do we find our way back? - Recapturing civility in America before it’s too late.

By Lauren Schieffer, CSP May 5, 2020

I have believed for some time (and mention in several of my keynotes) that America has forgotten how to communicate respectfully.

While, as an expert on communication and conflict management, this is good for my business, it also hurts my heart. It is further heartbreaking to me that the current pandemic crisis has not brought the country together and created respectful behaviors in the same way that national crises of the past have.

Many will blame politics for this. While there is some merit in that, there's always been rancor in politics, all the way back to the nation’s founding. Rarely has it bled so profoundly into the nation's citizens and how we treat each other.

Many will blame the media for our current incivility, and there is even more merit in that. When cable television news brought the concept of profit for sensationalism into play, objective journalism began dying a slow, painful death. People who choose to be well informed have to select their information sources very carefully, absorbing both right-leaning and left-leaning, as well as foreign outlets, and then make their own determination and judgment.

Currently, there is a very vocal, radical right, as well as a very vocal, radical left. These two polar opposites get most of the media attention. It is futile to believe we can bring them together, make them shake hands, sing Kumbaya, and it will all resolve itself.

But the far-right and the far-left comprise perhaps a quarter of the nation’s population between them. That leaves the rest of us in a very broad middle. We may disagree on issues of politics, faith, cats vs dogs, and entertainment. Still, for the most part, without being pushed into a corner by vitriol and hatred, we have generally gotten along with each other in a civil manner.

If that is the case, then why aren’t we getting along and treating each other with the respect and dignity every human being deserves? More importantly, how do we find our way back? This is my current mission – to help figure this out. I have been espousing the need to treat each other respectfully with audiences for 15 years, but suddenly this feels so much bigger than my little voice. I have ideas and practices that I share with my clients and will share here over the coming months, but I am also looking for input and insight.

Reclaiming respect and civility in American discourse has to be a grass-roots movement. It is NOT going to come from Washington, and it’s not going to come from the media. It has to start with us. Without getting political or placing blame (both of which are counterproductive), what are your thoughts?

https://www.laurenschieffer.com

About the Author

As the daughter of a career Air Force officer, The Colonel’s Daughter, Lauren Schieffer, CSP gained a profound independence and ability to adapt to changing circumstances. The lessons she learned from “The Colonel” have helped her make smart decisions and overcome adversity with humility and a sense of humor. Lauren helps global audiences communicate respectfully and avoid unnecessary conflict. She has spoken in seven countries to associations, organizations, federal, state and local governments, and Fortune 500 companies.