How Do We Close Our Back Door to Toxic Relationships?

Let's talk about what is a Divine Human. Then we'll have a conversation also to elaborate more on the shadow aspect in integrating our own shadow.

This is because this is part of the journey that we have called to us if we are in relationships that are toxic or with a narcissist across any range on the scale of narcissistic personality disorder. They're just emotionally abusive relationships.

How did they get in? They get into the back door. So what is the back door? Let's continue to have that conversation.

The back door is the place within ourselves that is hidden from us and that is there to protect us.

Let's say you had a trauma that took place when you were a child. Traumas can show up in just the smallest ways. I remember my baby being asleep, and something startled the child awake. When we startle like that, there's a part of ourselves that actually can schism outside energetically from us.

If we understand not just the physical nature of who we are but the energy body as well, this is where we really are waking up to the truth of who we are, and this is where our healing and where our wholeness lives.

Disease is just “dis-ease” in the body, and it starts within the energy body first and foremost.

Narcissists have a complete understanding of the fractured self because it's who they are. They are an extreme version of the fractured self. I'm not saying that one is more extreme than the other. We're a match if we bring these relations in on an energy level. We bring them in. It's what you do with that energy that makes all the difference.

So, what I will always say is, you got to shore up the back door. You got to close the back door. How do we close the back door?

Energy work, energy work, and energy work. However, it’s also looking at the shadow. What does it mean to look at our own shadow?

I was having a conversation with my coach a while ago, and something presented itself to me. Something that I used to do was I put people on a pedestal. I would think they were more than me or smarter, more spiritual, or whatever the situation was around it.

I remember when I was really busting that false belief program that I had, so many teachings came to me around it and experiences that helped me understand it.

However, the real “a-ha” moment was when I was watching a Transformers movie with my son. I just love this story because it was so beautiful in the way it was presented. I was seeing it, but I wasn't integrating it at a cellular level.

Sometimes we can understand something, but it's not fully integrated at that cellular level as a “knowing.” So we have to keep asking to “see it, see it, see it.” This is how we are powerful creators and how we co-create with the Divine.

Anytime you are looking to receive some greater understanding, clarity, awareness, and gifts, you need to ask, ask, ask, and ask.

Ask, “Dear God, Divine, show me what it is I am not seeing in terminology I can understand.”

Sure enough, I'm watching this Transformers movie—and I use this with my clients in the work we do together all the time because it is such a beautiful teaching.

The robot Optimus Prime was in full battle on Earth, and everybody was trying to kill him. He had this one human person that was by his side and just trying to help him out.

Optimus finally got so angry, and he said, “You know, I'm done. As soon as I save this planet from absolute destruction, I'm getting out of here, and I'm never coming back.”

The human looked at the robot and said, “You know what, Optimus? This is Earth, and here on Earth, we are human. Humans mess up.”

Yes, we do.