How people respond to you is very situational and depends on how well they know you.
My parents and friends can forget that I cannot see, and my colleagues treat me as they would anyone else. It can however be very different when you’re out and about.
Last month I went and stayed with Mum & Dad. Mum and I went into Plymouth city centre one day and by the end we just found what follows rather amusing.
- Going through the check out at B&M, we had this lovely lady who went out of her way to try and be genuinely friendly. One thing she asked me was, “is your Mum taking you out for breakfast as a treat?” Others have asked me why we didn’t say anything to her. Well, she was trying to be nice and commenting on this would likely to put a downer on hers and our day.
- Over in Trespass there was a fellow customer being supported at the till to try on a jacket. He was clearly an extrovert and was seeking opinions from the staff. He asked, “so what does that young gentleman think?” Well young, I assumed it obviously is me! I replied, “I think you look absolutely lovely”. Apparently, the shop assistants looked horrified and whilst some would have taken offense, I preferred to take it in my stride. It wasn’t an appropriate comment he made, but equally he wasn’t trying to be nasty either. Banter is best kept to just close friends.
- Queuing at the toy shop, my little nephew needed a toy tractor, the checkout guy was explaining to the man in front of me that they have a charity donation scheme and to push red or green on the card reader to accept/decline the donation. He then asked him if he wanted his receipt by email. When it was my turn there was no mention of the charity and I just got given a paper receipt. Maybe we read too much into it, but we felt the guy had just made it as simple as possible for me and maybe didn’t quite know if Blind people used computers. Luckily, I didn’t want to make a donation anyway!
- Finally, we popped into the M&S food hall. At the checkout whilst I was paying, I wasn’t holding my card high enough up the card reader for it to register. The rather miserable person on the till apparently was gesturing at me to move it up. Mum had to intervene and pushed my arm up; she had been packing the food into a bag at the time.
None of the interactions above are appropriate. Being condescending, singling out, making assumptions and not making an adjustment. It doesn’t upset me, in fact it’s pretty normal, it was just amusing that something happened in most of the shops we visited that day.
Perhaps I should have spoken up and educated people. Keep in mind though that I would have entertained different four conversations that day, which is not fun, draining, and impacts the enjoyment of my day. The important thing for me is that I can share my experiences to educate and provoke thoughts, which trickle out into wider society.
I’m struggling to articulate this final sentence, so I’m just going to be crass about it! I know I am awesome and the fact they cannot see it, isn’t my problem and is no reflection on myself.
#VisualImpairment #SightLoss
Financial Services Risk Specialist, studying at Henley Business School for an Executive MBA.
4 个月Great read Louis
Regional Director at Lloyds Banking Group
4 个月Louis, I love reading your updates, I find them inspiring and enlightening. You are a truly remarkable individual. Thank you for taking the time to bring to life the view from your perspective, it really helps me understand and evolve. You my friend are a superstar.
Customer Journey Manager, Finance Transformation at Lloyds Banking Group
4 个月You’re definitely awesome Louis! Nailed that last point! It should not be on you to educate everyone you come into contact with - it is on us all to make an effort to understand the way others experience the world and that can be from the perspective of any protected or other characteristic (there’s lots out there to read, watch and listen to on every kind these days!). Nobody is an expert or is expected to be but it doesn’t take a lot of effort to learn just a little bit. Add that to kindness and an effort to see everyone as a complete person and we’re a long way there. I hope that for every unfortunate experience you had in that day, you had many more positive ones and it’s the latter than become your lasting memories of your day out with your mum.
You’re most definitely awesome ??! So much of this is really subtle, and it’s difficult to fully appreciate the inclinations and intentions of what people were thinking without being there to see it all unfold, and listen to not just what was said, but how it was said, as the stresses on a sentence can change the meanings entirely. Sometimes (as in the first example) people mean well, even if they end up sounding unintentionally condescending. Most people don’t come across blind people regularly in day to day life, and won’t be aware of the level of active participation they can play in day to day society. I didn’t know about the level of tech that was available when we first met, and was astonished and inspired, in pretty equal measure, by what you’ve achieved in life, given the very significant restrictions sight loss will inevitably place on day to day life. Hopefully your education of others, combined with continued advances in tech that continue to make more aspects of day to day life accessible to those with disabilities, will turn the tide on people’s ignorances. Keep up the good work ??