How Do Others Really See You?

‘TWENTY-twenty’ hindsight is a wonderful thing.

However, how many of us really know what others think of us?

In the workplace many of us may think we know - but none of us can be absolutely certain our own view of ourselves corresponds with that held by others.

In a recent Harvard Business Review article, management and leadership expert Dorie Clark highlights how widely the opinions of others can differ from our own.

Clark uses the example of a senior executive who hires a professional executive coach to assess how he appears to his co-workers.

The results are not what the executive wanted to hear.

Despite the executive being generally mild-mannered and polite, the coach soon found many of his colleagues actually thought him to be quite arrogant and haughty.

This was mainly because of the man’s habit of constantly interrupting people while they were talking.

The executive was naturally very surprised at the findings, which begs the question: ‘How do we discover how others really see us?’

Obviously not all of us have access to an executive coach, but there are some proven ways to get honest, authentic feedback at work.

These include:

1. Seek out past evaluations

Scour your work files and archives for past or current Performance Development (PD) reviews, assessments or recommendations. You may find a particular pattern of behaviour or skill-sets that allows you to better understand how others perceive you

2. Study your online presence

How people really see you can often be revealed on social media or in emails. It is a good idea to keep a close eye on how you appear online - rather than waiting for your boss or a potential employer to do so. As well as enabling you to adjust or remove any incriminating information, you may also find out some ‘home truths’ about yourself

3. Encourage input from colleagues

When assessing how you appear to others, it can be a good idea to invite feedback from your colleagues. Commonly known as ‘360 degree feedback’, this process involves inviting your boss and some of your most trusted colleagues out for a coffee and asking them for some of their most honest opinions about you. Focus on areas such as what you do well and how you could improve things. You may be surprised by the results!

4. Form a focus group

Another good way to really discover what people think of you is to gather together friends and colleagues and ask them to share their thoughts about your strengths, abilities, and areas that could perhaps be improved. Remember, the idea is not for you to take the lead in these situations, but only to offer clarifying remarks. This should encourage participants to frank and honest in their feedback and may also really help you in your professional development.

Another area that can really influence what people really think of you is your personal brand.

In a recent Forbes article, brand and marketing expert William Arruda maintains that :

how your brand is perceived - and how you yourself see it - can be very different.

It is therefore very important to understand how you appear to others, and how this is greatly affected by your authenticity and reputation.

Every truly authentic leader has a deep understanding of who they are and what this really means.