How Do Mediators Do It?
I’m often asked by students in mediation training programs what are the most important tools a mediator uses to help people resolve their issues. There are many, but if pressed to identify those I think most important, I usually identify tools any of us can use in conflict situations to help with dispute resolution.
1. Establish an objective: Surprisingly many people enter negotiation or mediation without a clear idea of what their objective is. When pressed, many will say something like “I just want to get this resolved.” That’s not an objective. Having one doesn’t mean objectives can’t be amended as the process proceeds, but without an objective the party is, at best, adrift.
2. Establish a clear understanding of the consequences of not settling: Professional negotiators and mediators refer to this as the WATNA or ‘the worst alternative to a negotiated agreement.” To be effective, and to evaluate proposals, the parties must understand the consequences of not settling. Most times, the consequences of not settling isn’t acceptable. The parties must be able to weigh proposals against the consequences of not settling.?
3. Clearly understand real deadline pressures: Most dispute resolution is often brought to a close with a deadline. I often give the example that should I start a neighborhood mediation at 10a.m. in one room and another in different room at 10:30a.m., I guarantee with a high level of confidence that we resolve both before lunch. To be effective, deadlines cannot be arbitrary and should impact both parties. But be aware that some parties attempt to establish arbitrary deadlines just to pressure a settlement.?
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4. Recognize that a demand is only one way to solve a problem: Most people enter a negotiation or mediation with a pre-determined solution they feel will solve the problem and they argue strongly their position. The most likely to be successful in negotiation and mediation recognize there is more than one way to solve a problem and are open to alternative proposals.?
There are many other “tools” that can be used in dispute resolution, but I find these to be the most critical.