How do I look?

How do I look?

You: Babe, how do I look?


Them: All right.

…which might not be the answer you were looking for.


Because you think you look amazing, gorgeous, mind-blowingly hot - and you only get an ‘all right’.


What happens next?


Do you brush it off and continue feeling like a goddess?

Do you get annoyed with your partner, snark and storm off?

Do you bow your head, filled with self-doubt, and go get changed?



Let me tell you that I’ve done all three!


My newest and most favourite response is a bit different though.


Me: what do you mean with ‘all right’?

Them: I’m not a big fan of lace. The lace dress itself looks great on you - just don’t like the material.


…mmmmhhhh… interesting!


Do you take responses to ‘how do I look’ personally?


As mentioned before, I’ve done it, you did it, most of us have done it.


And probably none of us has questioned it.

This typically happens when you are already in doubt of some sort - it only takes one look or one word and you doubt your choice, your body, your life.


Isn’t it fascinating how easily we stop believing in ourselves!?


It seems that what others say has more value, more meaning, more truth to it than what we believe.


So, here is my proposal to you:

Be curious and ask “what do you mean” (In a non-blaming/non-offensive tone ??)!



Which leads me to an invite I want to extend to you - join Angela Heise and I, on Thursday at 10am China time, at the #linkedinaudioevent "Create Healthy Relationship Habits" when we talk about? cultivating healthy relationship patterns by learning to openly communicate your thoughts and feelings. We will address common challenges such as mistrust, mind reading, feeling ashamed, and the fear of burdening others.?

Click HERE for event details and sign up.


Take care and stay safe,

Anna

Leon van der Laan

Leadership Coach in DTC Ecom | +10 years in Ecom | Helping DTC brands scale to 8-figures with the REMODE Framework?

1 年

Handling emotions is key to healthy relationships! ??

Jenny Boymal

Creating Thriving Workplaces through Collaboration | External HR | Wellbeing | Safety | Recruitment | People and Culture Strategy | Training

1 年

Love this perspective shift! It's so true how easily we can let others' opinions shake our confidence. Asking 'what do you mean' opens up a dialogue rather than assuming the worst. Looking forward to your LinkedIn audio event on healthy relationship habits—sounds like it'll be a valuable discussion! ??

Nicole Yeates, Brain Optimising Consultant

Empowering corporate leaders and teams to upgrade their brains, sharpen focus, and achieve peak performance in just 4-6 weeks. Gain more time and freedom. Reduce overwhelm and stress, all using the power of YOUR brain!

1 年

I love getting older Anna Thellmann because I found you get more comfortable in your own skin but staying curious is a great attitude to have throughout life.

Caryn White

Empowerment & Strategic Mentor | CPA (Australia) Member| Empowering Midlife Women through Transitions. Rebuild Your Foundation to Feel Strong, Clear & Confident Moving Forward.

1 年

Thanks for this Anna Thellmann, this is a great question to ask and as you say in the right tone is key too. Thanks for building awareness of the little steps we can take. It doesn't have to start big

Bobby Semple

Redefining Industry Norms in NDIS Recruitment, ?? Event Photography and now garden services with Mr. Mowed!

1 年

The best one is this "Do you like the blue top or the red top?" Me, "blue". She then comes out wearing the red top????? Soooooo what happens here? ??

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