How do I Know if my Feedback is Effective?

How many times have you given feedback at the workplace, only to be met with a blank stare? Or worse, had a coworker respond with a defensive attitude??

Giving effective feedback is an important part of any working relationship, especially when it comes to making sure that both parties are on the same page and working towards a common goal.

Sometimes, it's spot on. But other times, it can be very vague and difficult to act on. And, more often than not, it feels like it just goes in one ear and out the other.

You may question yourself - how do I know if my feedback is effective?

That's a question that many of us have asked ourselves in our professional lives. After all, if you're giving feedback to someone and they don't understand or accept it—then what good is it??

There's no exact formula for what makes effective feedback, but there are some guidelines you can follow to ensure your feedback is as clear and helpful as possible.

Start with the end in mind

Before you begin giving feedback, it's important to understand the context and or why you're doing it in the first place: to help someone improve their performance. The best way to do this is by making sure your feedback is actionable and specific enough for the person receiving it to actually follow through on what you're asking them to do after you've given them your feedback.

That means you need to be very clear on what exactly you want them to do differently. Ask yourself: What is the most important thing I want this person to do after receiving my feedback? If there are multiple things, break them down into manageable chunks. The more specific you can be, the better.?

For example, if you want someone to improve their communication skills, don't just tell them that they need to be more assertive in meetings—tell them how they can do so. If there's something about their work that needs improvement, give specific real examples of what it is and how it could be done differently (or better).

Avoid using absolutes

When you give someone feedback without context, they don't know how to improve or correct their behavior because you haven't given them any direction on how to do so. If you've ever been on the receiving end of a scathing feedback, you probably know how much it can hurt to hear "you're doing everything wrong" (even if it's true).

You don't want to say things like "always," "never," or "all the time." These words tend to make people defensive and can leave them feeling criticized. Instead, be specific and provide examples of what they did (or didn't do) that was problematic.

Instead of "You never listen to me" try "I feel like you didn't take my suggestions into account when planning this project." This way, while the person receiving the feedback can see where their problem areas are, they don’t feel like they're being attacked or singled out.

Be honest but respectful

Don't sugarcoat your feedback, but don't be unnecessarily cruel either. It's important to be able to give constructive feedback without being condescending or mean-spirited about it.

Make sure that your tone is kind and considerate of the person's feelings, even if the message itself is difficult. Remember that if you're criticizing someone's work or behavior, it's because you care about them—and because you want them to succeed.

When giving effective feedback, it's important to remember that your words have power: they can make or break someone's confidence, boost their self-esteem (or crush it), shape their behavior over time... The list goes on and on! So when you give thoughtful feedback, always remember: You have power! Use it wisely.

Don’t assume anything

Don't assume anything--ask questions first. Asking questions is one of the best ways to get an employee thinking and talking about a problem they're having at work, without putting them on the defensive. If you make an assumption about someone's performance or ability, you risk making them feel like their work is getting unfairly criticized. Instead, ask them questions about their work before you start offering suggestions for improvement.?

This will help them feel more confident that the feedback is coming from a place of genuine concern and not from a place of judgment or negativity. Asking questions is also a great way to get someone talking about what they're struggling with at work. People can be defensive when they feel like they're being accused of doing something wrong, especially if they don't understand why it's wrong or how to fix it.

Asking open-ended questions instead of making direct statements helps reduce that defensiveness and allows the person to feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts on the matter.?

Focus on solutions

Focusing on solutions, rather than just problems, is an important part of giving effective feedback at work.

It's easy to fall into the trap of just pointing out what someone did wrong, without offering them a way to fix it. This can lead to defensiveness, which can make it hard for both parties to move forward in a positive direction.

Instead, when giving feedback, focus on solutions: how can I help you improve? What resources do you need? What steps do you need me to take? This approach helps the person feel empowered and supported—and it will help them grow as an employee. When you focus on solutions, you move the conversation forward and help the person you're giving feedback to feel like they have a say in the process.

It's not a question of whether you should give feedback—it's a question of how you do it effectively. Feedback is a valuable tool for building a sense of community in the workplace. When done correctly, the process is a win-win for everyone. The way we give and take feedback lies at the core of how teams function day to day. Therefore it's vital that we make an effort to make the process as constructive, open, and collaborative as possible.?

Try out some of the tips above to see how they fit into your own feedback style, share with us in the comments what you will try and or the results achieved - and as always I would love your feedback :-)

Dr. Rubina F. Malik is a scholar, strategic advisor, and a global learning and development expert. As a champion of mentoring, career sponsorship and leadership development, she helps organizations and individuals enhance the engagement, retention, and promotion of diverse candidates. Competitive edge-driving organizations from start-ups to Fortune 500 global brands depend on her support and expertise to propel programs such as mentoring, career sponsorship and leadership development. www.rubinafmalik.com?