How Do I Get People To Take Me Seriously?

??The burning career question of the week:

I am a woman working in a male-dominated industry. I have a lot of good ideas and input to share, but I feel like I get dismissed easily. How do I get people to take me seriously?

You’ve heard the phrase, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”

Well…that is not entirely true.

It DOES matter WHAT you say, and it DOES matter HOW you say it.

Building credibility in the workplace is influenced by the?language we use.

One way to avoid diminishing our credibility is through improving our use of language.

??Here are 5 phrases to AVOID and suggestions to improve:

1)?“I think...” “I feel...” “I guess...” — Using nondefinitive language can make you sound unsure of your content and portray a lack of confidence.

? Instead: use phrases like “It's my view that …”? “My assessment is …”? “Research shows …”? “I am confident that …”? “From personal experience …”. These phrases add assurance to your statement.

2)?“I’m sorry” — This is a tricky one. If you said or did something that genuinely warrants an apology (crude or derogatory comment, forgetting an important meeting), then address it directly with a sincere apology and move on. However, over-apologizing for minor infractions (forgetting to cover a topic, getting emotional, or a typo on a slide) further reduces your credibility. If you do not believe in YOU and your content your audience won’t either.

? Instead: Context will dictate the more appropriate response, but alternatives might look like “Let’s back up a bit.” or “Let me get back to you with that information.” If the situation warrants, reset the mishap in the context of a joke. If needed, pause and regain composure. Bottom line—over apologizing is unnecessary.

3) “Does that make sense?” — Seeking affirmation from your audience decreases the credibility of your content.

? Instead: use phrases like “Do you have any questions?”? “To reiterate this point, let me share a story.”? “I am happy to answer questions offline.”

4)?“I’m probably boring you.” — If you’re concerned about losing your audience, rethink what you’re about to say before you say it.

? Instead: Revisit your content (WHAT you say matters). Is your content credible? Have you done your research? Are you articulating your point clearly? Have you considered alternative viewpoints?? Revisit the tone of your voice (HOW you say it matters). Increase your excitement or engagement with the conversation. Use humor or antidotal stories to engage your audience.

5)?“Like, and um, like, so, like, ya know, like, yah, like, like.” I have teenagers, so this one is a personal household favorite! There is no faster way to distract your listener and diminish your credibility than using filler words. Using filler words can signal to the listener that you’re nervous or at a loss for words, or worse, aren’t knowledgeable on your topic.

? Instead: Research suggests the average speaker uses five fillers per minute — or, one every twelve seconds (the goal is one per minute). This may not be easy, but it can be done! The first step in decreasing your use of filler words is awareness. Note how and when you use [and, um, so, like] and consciously reframe the message. Start small—test out your technique in a low-stakes environment. The second step is to embrace the pause. Get comfortable with not speaking. Finally, practice! Change won’t happen overnight, but it will happen, and it will be worth it!

An excellent TedTalk by Celeste Headlee gives advice on having great conversations. It is worth the listen!

In short: Showcase your knowledge and talent through your use of language!

Definitive, confident language takes work, but the good news is that you can improve! Don’t let weak language impact your credibility and diminish your important message.

?? ??Pro Tip: Practice! In the mirror, on walks, to yourself, with your trusted community! The more practice, the more confident you’ll feel and the more credible you'll sound.

??If you’re ready to work together to improve your confidence, book a DISCOVERY CALL with me!

Until next Friday, thanks for reading!

Heather

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About Heather:

Heather is an award-winning career coach + consultant who works with mid- to senior-level individuals in career transition. She also coaches other career consultants on best practices in the career field. She is an expert in career theory and transition and experienced in helping clients achieve their professional and personal best. To learn more, visit careerinprogress.com .