How to Do Hard Things

Just because your processes got you to where you are today, doesn't mean they'll get you any further.

It's a hard to swallow truth.

The problem is that working hard, picking up the pieces from your team, managing the way you manage right now, defending your ideas and working the way you currently do... that has gotten you results.?

It's got you here. You've worked hard and you've had the results.?

Your brain says 'keep doing more of this'.?

You get a dopamine hit from each DM, every fire you put out, every time you're needed - you are addicted to your current behaviour. It’s familiar, safe, easy, and makes you feel good.

Well, it's time to break out of that cycle, because it's not sustainable if you want to uplevel. And that is HARD.

As humans, we are hard-wired to do things that make us feel good and give us immediate emotional rewards, but the difficult stuff usually has a delayed gratification element.?

We need to learn how to do things differently, how to do the HARD things, because:

?? It will allow us to step away from the cycle of mediocrity

?? We will be able to move away from focusing on the small and immediate, to the longer term

?? We will be able to sacrifice a little short term for the long term wins

But by now you probably know that to be great in our careers as leaders we need to do hard things. As you elevate in your career you are going to have to change the way you work, whether that's getting comfortable with delegating, leading with the presumption of trust when lots of people up until now have broken it, or simply learning how to influence as an executive.

But high performance comes from doing things differently. If you stick with what you are doing right now, what worked for you and got you here, you may not get much further.?

So how do we break out of that cycle??

The steps to unlock the mediocrity cycle, move to growth and do the hard things:

1?? Do hard things when you are in a good mood

A 2016 study by Taquet et al published in Proceedings of the National Academy ofSciences?of the United Staes of America found that when we feel good we're more likely to tackle the hard things that have delayed gratification.?

2?? Help your brain by providing context

When we want out brains to choose option A over B, it's very easy to just consider A and B next to each other. Option B is check my email because I'll feel good that I've achieved something. Option A is hold off on email and work on this big project that's quite daunting.?

Provide some context. For example, ‘Do I want to work on my email where I'll do some triage that generates another 10 emails for every email I send, and doesn't actually move the needle for the business, OR do I want to work on the strategy project and spend just 20 minutes figuring out what the next steps are to unlock the potential for my team's input on this next strategic round'.?

Suddenly that context helps our brains to challenge the need for that immediate return.?

3?? Celebrate your wins

Developing your growth mindset, which is really what we are trying to achieve here by leaning into doing more 'hard tings’, starts with reminding ourselves of when hard work and growth has happened and been rewarded.?

One of the things I do with all of my group mastermind clients is ask them 'what are we celebrating today?’.?

All my clients, whether in my academy or in my 1:1 coaching program, get asked this every Friday. Not because I want to fill their lives with another chore, but because focusing on what's gone well provides a perspective shift that we desperately need to tackle our evolutionary need to focus on keeping us safe and comfortable.?

We need to share with our brains how great it is to do something, to win, to go through the pain of job hunting and landing a great offer. To go through a long arduous strategy setting process and having a kick ass strategy for the next 5 years ready to implement. To have that hard conversation that is scary and uncomfortable but pushes your team to new heights and great achievements. To stand your ground with your peers and hold a firm line but then having your company achieve so much more as a result.?

Sometimes the most important wins are the ones where you take time off from the whirlwind and focus on letting go over work, email and chores and instead take some much needed R&R and self care time.?

Sometimes thats the hard thing to do, because you feel like you don't have the time to take that down time. And yet it can be the thing that unlocks all your ideas and innovations.?

Whatever it is, get into the habit of celebrating and recording your wins.?

4?? Break the task down

Be the project manager of your own hard task. Break it down. Identify the sub tasks. Identify what's really hard. Ask yourself 'what am I actually scared of here?'

5?? Start with something that feels easier or more familiar

Of those tasks you've identified, what feels close to something you've already done (those wins you've just been celebrating). What can you do to make the smallest change from something you've already done/achieved that will help you achieve this new thing.?

6?? Take action first thing in the day

This isn't a must but it does make things easier.?

7?? Reward yourself!

Find out more about How To Do Hard Things in Episode 88 of the Leading Women in Tech Podcast:

https://tonicollis.com/episode88