How do handle who mishandled you

What does “your greatest test will be how you handle people who mishandled you” mean? This means that you will tested for your people management skills only when you handle those who may have done wrong to you or mishandled you. Atleast a part of you will have to forgive them in a true sense and repeatedly so that you can handle them despite all that you had to put up with. But just a word of caution. You don't have to waste your time on ideologies and tests. Just do what works for you.

It could and probably does mean and have more than one meaning or interpretation. At a basic level of human understanding, how does a rational person deal with an irrational one. Many get an F grade for plain stupidity in not be willing to learn and gain people skills. Accepting that they do in fact exist. They are always going to be part of life. At the root, it's really about letting the person know that you value respect and if they have an issue with this.

Also accept that as long as you have options, look for the best one in dealing with stupid people. In their socialization and upbringing, they believe how they treat others is appropriate. Then when they come to terms it's not, they will either take baby steps to change themselves or watch how they communicate with others. This does not mean idiot will change. Believe it or not, some idiots don't know how to change!

If you are having trouble fitting in, stop trying. People can smell desperation and perceive it as weakness. I know you feel like you're on the outside of everything but trust me it's a big world and your people are out there. In the meantime you need coping strategies and I'll give you a few of mine. Pardon my potty mouth but I find it helpful in expressing precisely how I feel. Not literally, let the haters hate, but don't let their hate spark hate in you. It doesn't matter what they think of you. What matters is what you think of you. This is your life, your movie, you're the hero in this epic drama and that means you behave like a hero. Don't let the people that don't get you define you or make you the villain. Hold your head up and be proud because you didn't let shitty attitudes affect your attitude.

Be aware of that self hating voice in your mind and counter it. Imagine how a loving mother would talk to their child, how they would protect and care for that child, now talk to yourself that way in your own mind. Reassure yourself. Don't let that shitty voice in your head that tells you that you suck get away with that shit. Tell it to shut up and than let your mommy voice tell you, You are loved, You can do it, Just ignore those assholes who put you down, You deserve better, etc. The more you talk to yourself that way the more you will start seeing yourself that way.

Be kind, be polite but don't be a pushover. You show people how to treat you by how you treat yourself. If you aren't caring and loving toward yourself, nobody else will be either, but you also can't let your fear stop you from standing up for yourself. If someone treats you with disrespect tell them to back the fuck off. You don't need to physically fight but you definitely need to send a message that you're not going to let people walk all over you. Think of yourself like both a lion and its cub and how that cub needs love and ferocious protection. You must be brave! Remember, people with self respect get respect. That doesn't mean you let yourself be an arrogant asshole. It means you're respectful of yourself and others.

?It doesn’t take long. The key is to pay attention to how much they pay attention to you. Manipulative people all have one thing in common: low empathy. If I suspect someone of being manipulative/narcissistic/overly self centered (they’re all the same thing) I have this simple test: I deliberately turn the conversation to myself and talk about myself, then I closely monitor how long I’m allowed to do this and whether the other person is paying attention. The faster I get shut down, the more manipulative the other person is. If they don’t let you go 15 seconds talking about yourself, you have a problem.

This is a kind of screening process on both sides. If you always let a manipulative persons talk about themselves and their needs they will eventually start taking disadvantage of you. If everyone "hates" you, you've got nothing to lose. Chase your dreams. Follow your bliss. Learn how self soothe. You don't need everyone to like you but you do need one good friend. Be your own best friend first and then that friend will find and appreciate you. Don't give up and I promise you will find your friends out there. This too shall pass! Even if this is a hypothetical, my sentiment remains the same. Cheers!