How do deal with difficult people:
Syed Faisal Abbas Tirmize
CFO & A Sustainability Mentor at MAFHH An Institution
Hey ,
I’ve dealt with a few challenging co workers in my career…and each experience took a large toll on me.
Sometimes it was a client…
sometimes it was a co worker…
and sometimes it was my manager.
Unfortunately, toxic environments can be out of our control - no matter how much you research a job in advance, you don’t have the ability to know who you’ll be working with…and that can all change at any point.
With the right tools, however; you can diffuse a situation and improve your working environment in any circumstance.
Today I’m excited to share all that I’ve learned from my experience on this topic in the hopes that you too can use these techniques to improve your situation in your career wherever you find yourself.
What We’re Going to Talk About
1. Working with Someone Difficult Takes it’s Toll
2. How to Improve Your situation
3. Be the Change You Want to See
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Working with Someone Difficult Takes it’s Toll
Most of us work 40 hours a week, or rather 8 hours a day.
We aim for 8 hours of sleep, which leaves for 8 hours of non work activity…
but often times we’ll either work more than 40 hours in a week…or we’ll commute…or think about work outside of work.
Needless to say, what we do for a living is a big part of our identity (though it should not be the only part!).
When you work with someone challenging, it not only affects 1/3rd of your weekday…
it can affect your peace of mind after work.
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It can affect your relationship with your loved ones.
It can affect your confidence and overall mental health.
This is especially true if you find it challenging to work with your manager, as now you not only have to deal with a challenging person, but you also are at risk of losing out on the opportunity for promotion if things don’t improve.
Before we talk about potential solutions, just know that if you are experiencing this in your career, it is a very normal thing.
Odds are, if you find someone challenging to work with, there are other people in your company who feel similarly.
Just knowing that you are not alone, and what you are experiencing is normal can make a huge difference.
Generally, the more you develop your skillset, the larger the opportunities for managing others, and the less of a vulnerability you have to working with a difficult colleague (though the threat always exists).
How to improve your situation
There’s a lot of advice that I’ve come across on how to improve a situation where you work with someone challenging. Here’s what I’ve gathered over the years:
Be the Change You Want to See
You may be at a place in your career where you haven’t had the chance to manage others yet.
Every time you witness something you don’t enjoy about the way you are being treated, take note of what it is and how you will avoid making that same mistake with others.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of criticizing your manager for doing a poor job in managing you, but it’s important to remember just how challenging of a job it can be to manage someone…
on the one hand you have to praise your direct reports and raise their spirits, while on the other hand you have to show them what they are missing in order to advance in their career…
that’s a delicate balance!
If someone comes to you explaining that they are dealing with a challenging coworker, make sure that they are heard, but avoid the trap of solving the problem for them.
Instead, empower them to take action to solve the problem on their own. As the saying goes, give a man a fish and you feed him for a day…teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Sometimes…there just isn’t a way to escape a toxic environment.
It may come time for you to find another job, or switch departments.
I’m a big believer that the people who you work with play such a big role in your career, that even the best jobs can be a disaster with the wrong people, and vice versa.
What has your experience been with working with challenging people?
And do you have any suggestions to share?
I’d love to hear them.
Enjoy your weekend and speak to you next week!
Adult Child | LIPSTICK ?? & GAMING ?? YouTube @WeAreFiveSRWG | Google Cloud Enthusiast | Notion is Thought Ambassador | Spotify Podcaster | Leave No One Behind Hazelden Meditations | Military Veterans In Journalism
11 个月Very informative article indeed. I agree ?? with letting others know what is going on especially a therapist or case manager to ask suggestions on how to write a letter ?? to the assailant. Remember if it's causing you a toxic experience at work get it in the habit of identifying this person as an assailant and research case studies that worked or didn't work in this situation. Many true detective shows have suggestions that didn't work to create examples for worst case scenarios to reference. Then sit down and write what actually is happening for your base scenario. Research books and articles for strategies to try for a best case scenario to role play with trusted friends or colleagues that can be objective for feedback on how to move forward ??