How to Dissolve Your Negative Feelings About Your Traits in Six Surprising Steps

If you have been beating yourself up for a long time for having a certain negative trait that you don’t like, stop. Because I have some good news for you. In this article, I will teach you how to love every trait about yourself that you hate, resent, or despise and boost your self-confidence in the process.

In my previous article titled The Secret to Loving Every Part of Your Body: A Powerful Method Inspired by Quantum Physics , I talked about how to own, embrace, and love the parts of your body that you don’t like. In this article, I will go deeper and show you how to dissolve your negative feelings about your traits to love yourself beyond your physical appearance.

The method I use here is about dissolving a negative emotion or a bad feeling around a certain trait that you don’t like about yourself. It is not about changing the trait itself, but rather the way you feel about it.

While some traits may disappear as soon as we change our feelings about them, others may require more work, such as changing certain behaviours or habits. In this case, you might need a coach to help you, or a therapist, or maybe you can do some research for yourself. Whatever it takes, find what you need to do and take action.

So, are you ready to dive in? I have prepared six questions for you to answer.

Question 1: What specific trait do you despise or hate about yourself?

Start by listing all the traits that you dislike about yourself. It could be anything, just write them down and make a list of them. Then pick a trait from the list and work on that. Do one trait at a time until you finish them all one by one.

For example, you might say ‘‘I have no self-discipline’’. This is something that you hate about yourself.

Question 2: Where and when have you displayed this trait?

For example, ‘‘Every day at work’’

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Question 3: What is the benefit of this trait in you to yourself?

For example, ''It helps me to have self-awareness, to build the right environment, to learn about self-discipline, to find motivation or inspiration and so on.” List between 10-20 benefits, but if you think of more than that it would be even better. Consider using past, present and future tenses.

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Question 4: What is the benefit of this trait in you to others?

For example, ''It helped my friend Jane to learn from my problem to become self-disciplined and get promoted. My lack of self-discipline motivated my mum to take a course about it.” Again, list between 10-20 benefits.

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Question 5: Where and when have you displayed the opposite of this trait?

For example, the opposite would be ''I had self-discipline at home this morning; I woke up early and did some exercises.” Even if it was just for a minute, it doesn’t matter; just acknowledge it.

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Question 6: If you displayed the opposite of this trait, what would be the drawback?

For example, ‘‘If I had self-discipline, I wouldn’t practice meditation to stay calm and present’’. ‘‘I wouldn’t make a decision to gain knowledge about self-discipline’’ or maybe, ‘‘I wouldn’t learn about my weaknesses’’ and so on. Again, list between 10-20 drawbacks.

By answering these questions honestly, you will release your negative emotion and feel more present, poised, and grounded— guaranteed. You will experience true love for yourself and feel more confident.

Uncover Your Highest Values:

This step-by-step worksheet is designed to guide you in uncovering your highest values. By aligning your life with your values, you’ll not only boost your self-confidence but also increase your true self-worth. It’s a transformative tool that will empower you to elevate your identity, standards, and life choices, enabling you to make bold decisions and set goals that are congruent with what matters most to you.

[Download the worksheet here to get started!]