How to Disconnect From Work on Your Off Day

Difficulty disconnecting from work?

Okay, so there are procrastinators and then there is me. I suffer with the fear of being behind on anything work related.

Now, I know this may sound like a “good” problem to have, but as I grow older, I realize that I must figure out how to truly disconnect from work on my off day. I am a workaholic – I enjoy the act of working and staying up to date on all my assignments.

I am the type of person who will have my “out of office” email set up, and still feel obligated to respond to emails. For example, I recall being in Dominican Republic on my honeymoon several years ago, and while relaxing on the beach, I still found myself responding to emails.

Then just recently, with the birth of my second child, I found myself in the delivery room right after the baby was born on my phone, doing what I do best - responding/following-up on emails. In both cases, it took my manager to tell me to “STOP answering emails and enjoy yourself” for me to realize that I may really have a problem.

Before I dive deeper into my inability to disconnect from work on my off days, I will quickly bring you up to speed on how I believe I developed this vicious habit.

I have held a management position since graduating college. If you are a manager and you oversee a business that operates when you are “off” then technically you are always “on call”. It is just the nature of the business and in my opinion, is an unwritten rule. With that said, I have made it a point to keep my lines of communication open with my team (even on my off days) for several reasons.

1.      I believe that if someone calls me, it must be important and therefore, if I see the call and am available to take the call, I will immediately stop what I am doing and assist them. My thought process for doing this is I would much rather get things out of the way and address them in the current moment, as opposed to letting numerous tasks build up. Remember: procrastination and I simply do not get along well.

2.      After managing numerous teams throughout my career and becoming knowledgeable as to what makes people tick, as well as certain traits that are expected of managers, teams have voiced to me that they simply hate when they call their manager and cannot get ahold of them. Because of this, I made a vow to never become this type of manager. In return, I expect my team to be readily available for me whenever I call them. I think my wife could explain this best, but according to me, EVERYTHING is urgent. I believe that if I act with a sense of urgency on everything, then it will help me be more effective in the long run. What I am quickly noticing however, is everything cannot be urgent and by adopting this approach, it turns out that I am less efficient and more stressed out because I am creating more work for myself.

To address how to disconnect from work, I believe the below examples are good starting points.

1.      Set boundaries – What I mean by this is informing your team that you are off and unless anything is urgent, you will follow up with them on your next return to work date. I used to think that when I told my team I was off, then they would not perform up-to-par because they did not have to worry about if I would be following up on them. (I know. Silly right?!). What I noticed though, is that by telling my team that I am off, it allows for them to be self-sufficient and figure things out on their own. THIS IS KEY! As a manager, your job becomes a cake walk when your team does not need you to operate.

2.      Ensure your “out of office” email is set up – Like I mentioned previously, this method typically does not work for me lol however, what I will add to this is to connect with one of your peers and ensure that they can cover any urgent needs and field calls as needed. So, when you set up your “out of office” email, be sure to have an assigned contact for someone to follow-up on if something is indeed urgent. An effective “out of office” email should read something like this – “Hello! I am currently out of office and will be returning to work on (blank) date. During this time, I will have limited access to my email. If this is urgent, please contact (insert name). If this is not urgent, I will follow up at my earliest convenience upon my return.” By clearly communicating contact points, this should lessen the concern on your end by feeling obligated to respond to emails that require immediate follow-up. Piggybacking off this, on the flip side, I hate when something does go wrong and require my peer to have to do more work. I feel bad and usually wind up feeling in debt to that peer. I never want someone to feel as if I am not pulling my weight (even on my day off). This would explain why I still find a way to work on my day off.

3.      Put your phone on silent or do not disturb – I currently have 2 phones (my personal cell and my work phone). My issue is that even when I am off, I carry both phones, and if my work phone were to ring, I would then feel obligated to answer it. So, now what I recently have been doing is either turning my work phone off or simply leaving it on the dresser. However, when I check my phone at the end of the day and see any notifications, my anxiety immediately kicks in because I feel “out of the loop”.

I decided to write this post because I am realizing that by not disconnecting from work on my off day, after a period of time, it has begun to take a toll on my emotional state. With having two young kids, the grind never stops for me. And while I enjoy working hard, I must do a much better job of simply enjoying my off days.

At my former job at Frito-Lay, there was this famous saying – “It’s just chips”. This was typically used when someone was having a stressful work-related incident.

You can add whatever industry you are working in and pretty much apply this same quote. (I.e., “It’s just groceries”, “It’s just real estate”, “It’s just law school” etc.) At the end of the day, no matter what your line of work is, one thing that is for sure, is that the job will be there for you when you return. The memories that are created on your off days with family, friends or loved ones deserve to have your undivided attention. You deserve to play just as hard as you work!

If you struggle with disconnecting from work on your off days, remember that it is important to unplug, relax, and if possible, enjoy isolated time to reenergize your mind. “Spending time isolated is what allows you to process and regulate complex emotions. It is what allows you to crack hard problems and is often necessary for creative insight. If you avoid time alone with your brain, your mental life will be much more fragile and much less productive.”

Do you struggle with disconnecting from work on your off days? If so, I would be happy to get your feedback in the comment section on other best practices that have worked for you or some things you may be currently trying out to prohibit this from happening. ?? Thanks for reading!