How not to be a dirty rotten spammer

Do you remember when you were a kid and crossed the street without looking? Remember how mad your mom got??

Even if you were within your legal rights and crossing in a crosswalk.?

It just takes one bozo who’s answering a text and doesn’t see you and you’re flatter than Wile E. Coyote.

The “official” definition of spam is unsolicited bulk email with a commercial and/or malicious intent.?

Laws vary depending on where you are and who you send to. (Hello GDPR, you great big unloveable ball of confusion.)

But, for the most part, if you’re sending email marketing to someone who signed up to get it and you’re not telling lies, it’s not spam.

The Aunt Frances guide to spam

Now go ask your Aunt Frances what spam is.?

“Oh good lord, those annoying messages they send me from . . . . ”

You can finish that sentence with any one of a hundred companies. Amazon, LinkedIn, the Thanksgiving turkey farm, political fundraisers — the list goes on and on.?

Most of those companies have legal permission to send her email, because she agreed to it once upon a time, or because she’s already a customer.

Aunt Frances isn’t a dope. She uses tech every day. And she’s happy to learn something new — if it’s something she cares about.

Here’s what she doesn’t care about: official definitions of commercial email.

If it’s getting on her nerves, it’s spam.

She won’t unsubscribe (because even in 2024, the InTeERnEt eXpErTs tell her she’ll get more spam if she does).?

But she?will?triumphantly mark an irrelevant or irritating message as spam.?

In the early 2000s, this was a problem.?

When subscribers mark innocent email as spam, messages start to go automatically to junk folders — even when there are raving fans waiting breathlessly for the latest message.

In 2024, it’s a list killer.?

With Google and Yahoo’s new initiative to clean some of the junk out of inboxes, commercial senders need to keep spam complaints well under 0.1%.

(Technically that number is 0.3%, but consider that the guard rail before a 3000-meter plunge to your doom. You don’t want to get close to that.)

Senders who have become unwelcome inbox pests may be following the letter of the law, but they’re still road kill.

Luckily, this is something that agile, flexible organizations and leaders can get really good at. Here’s where to start:

You’ve got to keep Aunt Frances happy

There are two definitions of “spam.”?

One involves a complex international matrix of regulations and loopholes that apply to email marketing.?

The other is “crappy email I don’t want.”

If you want to send out email to more than a handful of customers, you need to live up to both standards.

Here are a few ways to keep yourself on the Good Folks list.

#1: Quit playing games

Stop using misleading subject headers. This can include headers like “Invoice enclosed” if there’s no invoice, or “75% off” if there isn’t really a discount.

(Misleading email headers are illegal in many places, including the U.S.)

This also includes tricks like using “Re:” or “Fwd:” to imply that there’s an existing email conversation going on when there isn’t.

Also, if you include a fake unsubscribe link that’s more prominent than your real unsubscribe, you are definitely going to email marketing hell.?

Any subject header that tries to trick people into opening — even if you think it’s a cute joke — makes your audience wary about clicking next time.

As a rule of thumb, making your audience feel dumb is a great way to make sure they don’t feel comfortable spending money with you.

Here’s one that might be a little more controversial …

Avoiding dodgy or openly misleading tricks is just common sense. Most of us would be a little grossed out by those anyway.

(Mind you, I’m still seeing them in my in-box.)

But this one goes a little deeper:

Stop pretending you aren’t a business by sending “pure” content for weeks or months before you ever send a promotion.

No, of course you don’t need to browbeat your subscribers with Buy Or Die. That’s silly.

Taking a couple of days to get your new subscriber oriented and educated is a great practice.?

But when you let weeks or months go by without mentioning that you’re a business, it feels really off-putting when you get around to asking for a sale.?

It feels like spam.

Your audience shouldn’t wonder if you got hacked when you get around to promoting what you do.

#2: Sharpen your AX (audience experience)

“AX” never got the buzzword traction it should have.?

Probably because A can stand for too many things.(Audience, attendee, author, etc.)

I’m thinking about this a lot these days, with “audience experience” as the definition.

Subscribe to your own lists with a couple of alternate emails and see what they look like.

What does it feel like to subscribe to your list?

How does the welcome message actually look? Is the tone consistent? Do your messages match the promise of your sign-up form??

What do the first 30 days feel like as a subscriber? What does it feel like to be a long-term subscriber??

AX for email isn’t necessarily about brilliant visuals. (Unless you’re a design professional.)?

It’s about the experience of being connected to you and your organization.?

In other words, make your email subscriber feel like a valued community member, not a cash pi?ata. (Hat tip to Rachel Allen for one of my favorite terms.)

#3: Use smart automation to give your subscribers more agency

I recently subscribed to a pretty big content creator.

This isn’t someone I know personally, but their name and face are familiar and their topic is aligned with what I do, so I figured it would be good to check them out.

They sent a welcome email that was warm, well written, and interesting. Awesome start.

Then the next day, I got a message letting me know that sequences made this person feel “icky” so they didn’t do them.

I mean, fine. I love that for them. Probably they’re so successful that their email marketing doesn’t need to actually work.

I … guess I’m getting a newsletter now? It’s already dropped off my “things to pay attention to” radar.

I kind of know what they do. I’m unclear on whether their advice will be relevant for me. I have zero sense of their values.

So opening their next email just isn’t any kind of priority for me.?

It’s not that I hate this person. They seem fine! If there's a good enough header, I might open a message at some point.?

Or I might “quiet unsubscribe” — just let the messages drift to the bottom of my in-box.

Because they decided that taking the time to create a more engaging experience was work they didn’t want to do.?

Here’s what I’d do instead

Did they ask for my advice? No. ???

But if they did come to me asking how they could be getting more value out of their list — and said list is undoubtedly costing them a ton of cash — here’s where my answer would start:

First: Get over random discomfort with things

There are two kinds of business discomfort.

One is a real shudder at a practice that’s shady or manipulative.

You don’t ever need to lie, coerce, manipulate, or bully anyone with your marketing. If the idea of doing that stuff makes you barf, good news, you’re an ethical business owner.

But the other kind of discomfort is a random reaction that something feels vaguely “icky.”

Not because it’s manipulative or dishonest. But maybe because you think you’re bugging people, or you're taking up too much space. Or that using automation is “fake."

Or that sending too many emails makes you look spammy.

If your discomfort is keeping you from putting your best foot forward, consider getting over it.

Then: commit to delivering exceptional value with audience-first, respectful sequences

Sequences can be canned, weird and gross — or they can be respectful, interesting, and give your audience an amazing AX.

My favorite thing about sequences is they put your best work where it’s the most visible — without spending a ton of time every week grinding out more content.

Because you will get tired of grinding out content. And your exhaustion will show.

My second-favorite thing about sequences is that they let you show radical respect for your audience’s time.

Here are a few cool things sequences can do:

• Make a compelling first impression — so people remember you when you show up in their in-box again (Warm welcome or onboarding sequence)
• Get your value, expertise, and personality in front of the right people at the time when it makes sense for them (Lead magnet sequence, thoughtful segmentation sequence)
• Give people the information they need to make an informed decision about buying from you (Path to purchase sequence)
• Let your people know how to move forward when they’re ready — not on your timeline, but on theirs (Evergreen sales sequence)
• Prepare new clients and customers to have a great professional experience with you — so they’re dying to work with you again and refer their friends (Buyer onboarding sequence)

What to do if “being a good email marketer” isn’t your whole personality

If you aren’t sending to your list consistently, or if you don’t feel like you're sending great content, you’re smart to get help.

This year, I’m focusing more attention on helping companies and individuals do a better job with their email audiences.

I’m spending a lot more time helping thought leaders and content-driven businesses create exceptional audience experience with email sequences.?

(I focus on sequences because the ROI is so damned good. We do the work once and it keeps bringing in revenue for years.)

I can also work with your team to help them keep the AX party going in your regular content. Because it’s much easier to keep your momentum than it is to get that ball rolling in the first place.

I also have brilliant technical help who can take a peek at your email setup — to make sure you’ve covered the boring-but-necessary best practices to get your messages into in-boxes.

Shoot me a note here on LinkedIn if you could use some help with any of this! If we aren’t connected yet, just mention “email marketing” in your connection note.

By the way — I don’t do the predatory sales thing. I have no magical sales techniques, and if I’m not the right person to help with your project, I’m the first person to bring that up in the conversation.?

I’ll also drop a note in the comments below where you can get specifics, including pricing, if you want more context before we strike up a conversation.?

Image by Jeremy Noble (uberculture on Flickr) on a Creative Commons license. Image has been cropped to fit the LinkedIn format.