How different life feels when we talk to ourselves from love.

Even the “mental” tone we use to talk positively about ourselves feels different. Better. And despite what you may have heard, positive self-talk is not about praising ourselves constantly. But more about talking to ourselves from a place of love, acceptance, and self-compassion. Let’s find out how to start it, shall we?

The Voices in Our Head?

We all have those voices in our heads, seemingly directing their own orchestra of thoughts. Bringing our awareness to them can sometimes be enjoyable, and other times can be a rather challenging experience.?

It’s not so black and white, but we could differentiate between “a mean voice” and “a kind voice.” Both evoke all kinds of feelings, thoughts, memories… Even though these voices are always with us, how can we navigate these thoughts to avoid losing ourselves in the noise??

Self-Compassion & Self-Talk?

It’d be great to have a map with signals like “here be monsters!” or “Safe place to rest!” Then again, that’s the wonder of life, isn’t it? From our perspective, there’s no one-size-fits-all in terms of positive self-talk. But… There is one thing that does work for many: self-love.

It can be challenging, for example, to identify that voice that calls you “silly” or worse when you make a mistake. The idea is to:

1. Be aware of it.
2. Stop it as soon as you notice it.
3. Reverse whatever it said with kind words (“I made a mistake, but I am human, and I am learning”).

Boosting Your Positivity to Thrive?

This branch of psychology is supported by research , and it shows that positive psychology interventions can help increase one’s experience of overall life satisfaction and happiness.?

But how can we start? The following three exercises are personal recommendations you can use as inspiration for finding what feels right for you.

Exercise 1: Taking Your Time?

This first practice is rather simple: Take your time.

Are you brushing your teeth? Then focus only on that for the next 4 minutes. Stuck in traffic? What else is there to do but sing a song, breathe deeply, and be kind to each other? We are so used to being in autopilot mode that we don’t even enjoy morning coffee! Slow down, and be gentle with yourself.

When you slow down, you notice the beauty of the little things more often. That is also gratitude, which leads to joy.

Exercise 2: Capture Your Thoughts?

When thoughts feel confusing, and they’re all just one big mess up there in your head, try to capture them at the moment. You can do this by keeping a journal, notes on your phone, or recording your voice.?

If these thoughts contain heavy emotions, such as self-criticism, anger, or frustration: Accept that they are there. Simply accept their presence, remembering that they, too, can teach you something about yourself and help you grow.?

Exercise 3: Be Your Own Friend?

A famous saying goes like this: Treat others how you want to be treated.

We often meet friends and family from a place of unconditional love, willing to help them through every crisis with kindness and patience: Practice that same care with yourself.

For extra motivation, try pampering yourself from time to time with your favourite food, a warm bath, or simply creating space just for you.

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