How did I tame Stress? Real story, limited masala & no take-aways!

They say that every day brings you a choice: to practice stress or practice peace. I choose the latter, always. That wasn’t always the case. Certain sweet people, certain occasions, lovely uncertainties & sudden changes used to stress me out. Back then I also used to get invited to Institutes & Events as a Speaker. Not a popular one or a half good one, but the type they called as a backup if the original smart guy dropped out at the last minute. Funny part was that Stress Management used to be one of the topics I covered. Nothing better than a talk on Stress Management to stress you out. Students & the general Janata however were glad with my content and the silly jokes I used to crack.

One fine day, I received a special invite. An invite from the Naval Base, Kochi to address their officers across ranks. If I was to receive that same invite today I would politely decline and recommend someone way better than me with good brain waves to do the honours. But back in 2011 I was pretty dumb which meant my confidence levels were high. Now when I see some people who are super confident despite being dumb I am reminded of myself from the past. Thinking about it, I envy them!

When the D-day arrived I was ready with my Power Point Presentation (a Weak Facilitator’s best friend). As long as Power Point was there, the power of the points didn’t matter, at least for me. The shallow PPT and even shallower presentation covered aspects from the definition of stress, remedial measures including breathing exercises, meditation & even intake of some veggies as quick fixes for Stress. The wonderful audience including the Commanding Officer and many others were kind enough and didn’t court martial me for wasting their time. Post an hour of my verbal diarrhea powered by the Text heavy PPT, I was invited for drinks at the base. I gladly went thinking that I had done a fab job- dumb, you see.

While I was there a Senior Officer struck up a conversation with me and said- “I liked your confidence. Many speakers get tensed when addressing us, including Senior folks. You were pretty sorted. But I am unsure how helpful the session will be for any of us here. You gave us the textbook definition of stress. I will give you a flavour of the stress here.” Then the kind Officer went on to narrate an incident from his life. Few years ago, the Officer was to go on a Reconnaissance Mission which required sailing for over 10 Days. When he left for duty his only child-a toddler of 3 was down with Pneumonia and was under Critical Care. Doctors were non-committal around the chances of recovery but he had to leave to attend the Call of Duty. The Recon mission barred any communication for Sailors with anyone back home/on land. For 10 days the brave officer met the job demands with no updates on his kid’s condition. They returned on the 12th day and the man rushed to the nearest phone. At this point he stopped narrating and offered me another Beer because he felt that I would faint any moment.

The Good Officer then said, that he was considering further delaying the call home, so that he wouldn’t have to listen to bad news if any. Delay the call and the kid is alive in your mind are the words he used. But he mustered the courage to ring up home with steady hands. He paused again and asked me, how do you deal with this stress? I was blank & my own kid was 2 years old then. I said, no clue, how did you deal with it? He made use of that opportunity I gave him & said- “Breathing Exercises, Meditation & Eating Veggies”. Tightest diplomatic slap if there ever was one. Post that eye-opening session of what real stress can be I have always compared my stress to the level of stresses out there. When events in the form of Uncertainties, Market Volatility, Job Demands, Personal Finances, Kids’ Education & many more keep visiting, I travel some distance with them mentally to figure out how & when they will fizzle out and if there is anything I need to do now to help the cause.

Work places today come bundled with certain amounts of stress and the Top Management plays a vital role in increasing or decreasing heat levels. There is little that one can do other than wishing that the elements contributing to stress would somehow magically disappear. While Daily Exercises, Eating Healthy, taking a break, Hobbies etc helps us deal with stress better, I feel the below mentioned aspects helped me more than the others.

a)?????Talking about Problems with people you trust. Helps if you have more than one confidante/advisor.

b)????Relax, chill-out & go easy on yourself. Try to see the humour in every situation and talk about it. You don’t necessarily have to turn the world upside down during this brief stint on Planet Earth. Do your best & if there are unmet goals in this life-time add those to your bucket list for the next incarnation and pray to God to remind you about it.

c)?????Eliminate your Triggers if that is an option. At different stages in life, different aspects/ people contribute to stress richly or poorly. Poorly is positive here. Figure out what contributes more to the current stress levels, Is it your Job? Peer pressure? Commute? Spouse? Friend? Relatives? and see if the exposure can be limited to these elements if not completely cut off.

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Since this article isn’t part of a Web Series I will end by telling you that the Officer’s kid recovered and was discharged from the hospital by the time he had finished his sailing. I never stayed in touch with him but I will never forget his words. The treasured memento I received that day helps me fondly remember my last Stress Management Talk.

I stopped Stress Management Sessions post that.