How Did I End Up Back Here Again?

"I got so far, I accomplished so much, what am I doing back here? I guess I'm not as successful as I thought I was..."

All things being equal, momentum is kind of easy to hold on to. You're propelled in a forward motion, all you have to do to keep moving is stay buckled and keep your hands and feet inside of the ride at all times. 

But strength is not built during the times when you're on top and everything's going your way and you're accomplishing and productive and successful in everything that you do.

Nope. 

Strength and character are built when you get knocked down and you're lying on the mat, flat on your back staring up at the sky through blurry, water-filled eyes and wondering, "How the heck did that just happen?"

Image by soumen82hazra from Pixabay 

It takes a lot of stamina to get up off that mat and face the world again.

It's in those moments of getting up - no matter how hard it is, no matter what you have to face, no matter how weak or vulnerable or embarrassed you feel - where character is built.

The reason I bring this story up, is because "justifying failures" is one of the pillars of influence in the E.F.F.C.T. formula.

If you can (E)ncourage someone's dreams, justify their (F)ailures, allay their (F)ears, (C)onfirm their suspicions, and help (T)hrow rocks at their enemies, you can influence them to do almost anything.

Taking the above idea a step further...besides justifying someone's personal failures, which is enormously influential in its own right, justifying the concept of failing can also be equally influential.

Reminding people that failures are justified, i.e. there's justification for their existence - that failure serves a purpose - is an extremely effective method of shifting somebody's perspective and getting them to take action.

If you think about it, failure and defeat is where all the achievement and progress you were able to accomplish up until now got its initial push from, it's what set all your forward momentum into motion in the first place.

At some point, you picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and decided that you wanted something better for yourself than you had.

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay 

Seen in this light, failure is not just something painful and to be avoided, it's actually the inception of all your successes, past, present, and future.

Said another way, failure isn't a blemish on an otherwise successful record, it's responsible for your record.

We all have people in our lives that remind us of our failures, some of them may even have our best interests at heart, but it's the rare people who justify our failures, as well as help us see failure in a more positive light, that have the most influence over us.

Justifying people's failures is not only super-effective in its ability to create influence, the power to have an important effect on someone, it's also one of the nicest and most memorable things you can do for somebody today.

Questions or comments?

Leave them below and I'll respond.