How Did I Change Myself in order Not to Die at Work? Go Up and Never Stop!

“Difficulties are in your head” is perhaps the most memorable from Hell Week's book by Erik Bertrand Larssen which I’ve read recently. Well, at least in my case.

No one will never teach you to struggle for difficulties if you do not fight by yourself. There are a lot of motivational books, courses, master classes, and other useful things that are designed to develop the skills of this struggle in you. And, at certain stages of life, it is very useful to move forward and further.

I am often told – “it is easy for you”, “you are not afraid”, “you leave from where you are not comfortable”, “you change job if you don’t like it”. I will say more. One day, left without job, I realized that today I have to go and make the prepayment for renovation in my apartment. What would you do? I went and paid. I had no idea how I would postpone what I had already planned for a long time, and I would depend on the situation on the labor market. That is, for you to understand - there was simply no other way in my head. There was no idea that something could be done differently. This is comparable with a certain degree of recklessness on the one hand, on the other - with wild obstinacy and some abnormal degree of conviction that everything will be formed your way. And you go this way without turning.

The work of the assistant is really difficult. However, probably, like any other. Until a certain point. I have never dealt directly with the topic of motivation for an assistant. When I wrote my first book, I talked about the need to understand clearly what you are getting involved in, why you need this profession. In fact, in order to understand why you really need it, you just need to answer the question: what exactly makes you wake up every morning and go to work as an assistant? Remember the movie "The Devil Wears Prada" - you need to be patient for 1 year, and then do what you want. The heroine worked for recommendations. The end point of the journey was by no means the career of an assistant. But in order to understand this - you need to dig deeper inside yourself.

Do you like to meet a lot of different interesting people? Do you like helping others? One of the aspects of the greatest happiness of some assistants that I've met is the exchange of energy when they work. The more you give, the more you get. But, it is important to understand exactly what you really get. The main problem of those who come to me for advice is that they do not receive. Sometimes this is the initial situation when a person came to a new company. Sometimes things change over time. But it is important to receive. If this is not - you need to leave. Many of assistants face the problem of their comfortable departure from the company. Scary, incomprehensible, everything seems to be inferior, but its own. You seems to be used to. Bullshit! Sorry, but as it is.

One thing is important - to get used to the good and strive for even better. Every single day to feel normal. It takes time to realize all this. It's true. Self-digging is given with a great difficulty. We all have complexes and fears that drag on us from childhood. Someone has the strength to deal with them, someone needs advice and help. I was once told that I was so fearless of some kind. Not really. But why did I mention Hell Week of Eric. Reading his book, I always thought that somewhere something like this has already happened with me. And then it hit me. The last four years of schooling - I walked 7 km to the school and 7 km back respectively. In winter, spring and autumn. In the snow, rain, frost, blizzard, slush, and more. The road between the two fields in the Volga region. I will not go into details. It’s just life. My family has moved from Moscow for 4 years. I was 13 years old when this path began. Until the end of the 11th grade. Yes, then we returned, I entered the Moscow University, and everything returned to the usual path.

It dawned on me why I am acting this way, and not otherwise, only in 30 years, when I analyzed all the previous events of my life. Because nothing happens just out of nowhere. At the age of 13, I was pulled out of my comfort zone by force of circumstances. And it saved me, I think. In terms of views on life, in terms of attitudes to problems, in terms of perception of difficulties. Perhaps, therefore, speaking at one of the conferences for assistants, I began with the words of Richard Branson, “Screw it! Let’s do it!”. Because if you don’t go, you don’t know. If you do not go beyond comfort, then you will drag out a miserable existence where you should not be in principle. Analyzing all my previous experience, I understand that I've always looked around, I thought, I communicated with my colleagues - mine \ not mine, I need it here and now, or I don’t like it, it is not mine, and I have to leave.

We all strive to be stable. Especially financially, smoothly moving up the career ladder. But for some reason, just few people think how to be consistently happy, waking up every morning and leaving for work. Few people think about being consistently healthy. Why? How is that connected? Have you ever wondered how many sores we get because of nervousness at work? As soon as stress passes beyond all permissible limits - immunity gives slack and here you have endless colds. My parents are doctors, I grew up surrounded by their friends - doctors, I know what I'm talking about. I will never believe that your ultimate dream is such a life. I left many companies. One company was closed, the second was a reduction, from others I left myself. Why? I will answer.

In one, I outgrew it, and there was nowhere to move on, but what was offered to me did not suit me. In another, my expectations from duties did not coincide with what the manager needed. In the third, the aspiration of the management to micro-management was so slowed down by all the processes that, at my speeds, it was the same as using sports Ferrari in a metropolis and traffic jams instead of a chic and speedy autobahn with a perfect asphalt surface.

And all companies are good, offices are in the center, salary is at the market level, a good compensation package. And I sit and think that something is wrong. And yes, you have to pay the loan. Yes, I spent the time looking for a job. And start all over again? Yes. As soon as it dawned on you that where you are, you should not be. Because this is not the place where you want to be.

You must have motivation. How to find it? It is necessary to answer the question - what do I want today and now? Many people say: the work of an assistant is voluntary slavery. But everything changes, blah-blah.

I will say more - everything has changed a long time ago. Stereotypes remain. If you do not like working here and now, then you should not be here. If your motivation is to work a year and a half with a cool dude, get recommendations, and then leave, slamming the door loudly or drowning the phone in a fountain, like Andrea from “The Devil Wears Prada”, this is one thing. You have a goal. And if you are here, you feel bad, and you cannot answer the question - where will I be in a year and in what conditions, then everything is still worse and you urgently need to do something. Because there is no goal. If you consider your leader to be an idiot, then it means that you are next to him. After all, the point is not that everyone is completely an idiot. Read Thomas Erickson, his book “Surrounded by idiots: the four types of human behavior and how to effectively communicate with each in business (and in life) ". You just do not match. And with this we need to do something.

I always ask - how brave are you to make the decision and leave the company straight away if you don’t belong there?

As Elena Blinovskaya, one of the greatest coaches, said at her master class “From the wish list to the life of a dream”: “Your motivation is at the level of your ass ... that’s it, you can look for where everything is cool in your life and evaluate, and think every single day - where I can add another half of the point to make it better. The fire! I get up and do. Or you can go all the way to your ass when you will be knocked from the bottom with the question – ah, you are already 80?...”

The last thing you can do is to accept and do not move. You always have to try Go Up and Never Stop.