How to develop (and keep) great habits

Every day, people around the world vow that today will be the day they start working out every morning, drinking more water, quitting smoking, reading a book every week. Everybody’s doing it. But are we doing it the right way?

Let’s be honest. Breaking a bad habit or taking on a new one is one of the hardest things we can do, especially when we know that the quality of our lives often depends on the quality of our habits. So, what are we doing wrong? Probably nothing! But here’s an interesting thought first, what if the act of breaking a bad habit suddenly becomes a way of life??

Before going deeper into that, let me just tell you about a recent reading of mine “Atomic Habits” - the book whose learnings I am sharing with you today. As an avid reader, I used to do all my readings on flights. When the traveling stopped because of the pandemic, I found a great alternative in audiobooks! I started listening to books while driving, aiming for 2-3 books a month, and sharing all the learnings with Enhance management and staff. “Atomic Habits” was actually recommended to me by Audible. There are so many great learnings in the book that I wanted to share, but I’ll just settle for three for now and have you guys explore the rest on your own.?

1- THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE PROGRESS IS TO START SMALL?

We like to believe that there is one moment that changes everything for us; one moment that will make all our hard work worth it. What if our success is not measured in a single moment? What if it’s a gradual evolution, “a long series of small wins and tiny breakthroughs?” Interesting, right??

One example that James Clear gives is that of bamboo which for the first five years can barely be seen as it slowly builds its roots underground only to fully explode ninety feet into the air within just six weeks.

What we tend to take for granted, is the process,” breakthrough moments are often the result of many previous actions, which build up the potential required to unleash a major change.” In my self-defense classes, my biggest challenge was doing a backward roll and land standing. After weeks and weeks of repeating the same process and failing, one day it finally worked and I have been doing it effortlessly since then - I just trusted the process of eventually being able to do it. It’s all about trust!

2- FORGET ABOUT GOALS, FOCUS ON SYSTEMS INSTEAD

Ask yourself: How many times have you put goals for yourself without actually following through on them? How often have we felt so disappointed in not having achieved a goal and blamed ourselves for not being committed enough? According to Clear,

“if you want better results, then forget about setting goals. Focus on your system instead.”

We all want to get that dream job. We all want to win a basketball game. We all want to achieve a goal. So, what makes us different from each other? Do winners have better goals than losers? No, both have one goal in common; to win. The only difference is the system they follow to achieve that goal. “The goal had always been there. It was only when they implemented a system of continuous small improvements that they achieved a different outcome.” Can you think of a time when you were so focused on the goal that you completely forgot how you even got there? It happens to all of us - but what if we change our perspective??

3- THREE LAYERS OF BEHAVIOR CHANGE - FOCUS ON IDENTITY

While the author discusses three layers of behavior change; the first one being changing your outcomes and the second changing your process, I want to focus on the third one, changing your identity. Does that mean I pretend to be someone I am not? On the contrary, it means finally being true to who you are! How do we do that? We build identity-based habits by focusing on who we wish to become. The author gives the example of two people resisting a cigarette. When offered one; the first person says; “No thanks. I’m trying to quit.” The second person says, “No thanks. I’m not a smoker.” It’s a small difference, but it’s all about how we identify with ourselves. Who are you? Really? Take a minute and think about it.?

I know it might sound strange to some of you, but believe me, being patient about tiny changes is a great way to experience remarkable changes!