How To Develop an Emotionally Intelligent Change Mindset

To Successfully Guide Your Team Through Change, Start with Emotional Intelligence

“Change is not a threat, it’s an opportunity. Survival is not the goal, transformative success is.” – Seth Godin

I published this to my private newsletter this week. Now I share it here as it is a timely topic!

It’s always curious to me when my client conversations take on a theme. This past month has included many coaching conversations about how to effectively lead change – both for yourself and for others on your team.

Thanks to a comfort zone issue, humans like things to be relatively calm and orderly. Even the riskiest among us are likely to choose some level of known commodity. This commitment to the comfort zone causes many to view change as threatening. Certainly the status quo is threatened, yet many of us internalize the request to change as dangerous. This causes all types of wonky protective behaviors and stymies constructive conversation.

In reality, change is the essence of transformation as it paves the way for something new, improved, or innovative. Every step in our personal and professional evolution involves change and embracing the “new.” Despite this, we often resist change.

Understanding the Process of Change

There are multiple frameworks to understand the change process, and one that resonates with me is an adaptation of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’ stages of grief, which was inspired by her work with terminally ill patients. Originally conceived as a way to explain the process we go through as we let go of our mortal life or mourn the loss of another, the stages apply remarkably well to change. After all, change is a death to what is known.

The Kübler-Ross model includes 5 stages of grief:?

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

It’s important to understand that these stages are not always linear, and we often fluctuate between them. Not everyone has a cookie cutter expression of emotions, so empathy is vital as you navigate through them.

Emotional Regulation Minimizes Change-Related Drama

This is where great leadership comes into play. In The Humanized Leader, one of the first skills we master is emotional regulation. Change triggers emotions in ourselves and others. As Humanized Leaders, we create emotional safety by understanding emotional intelligence, recognizing the discomfort that accompanies comfort-zone expansion, and managing our emotional triggers. Your emotional regulation helps to keep all players out of the drama triangle. When we fall into the three characters in the drama triangle (villain, victim and hero), dysfunctional behavior can erupt in the five stages of change.

As you acknowledge the fear of change and your ability to regulate emotions, two crucial steps emerge:

• Recognize and own the stage of change you are experiencing.
• Address your state of change proactively so that you can remain one step or two ahead of what the rest of your team is experiencing.

How Leaders Navigate the 5 Stages of Change

As a Humanized Leader, you have two sets of action steps for each stage of change. First, you’ll work to understand and regulate your emotions. Next, you’ll lead your team through the change management process.

Let’s look more deeply at what you can do in each of the five phases:?

1. Denial

• Your Work: Acknowledge the situation and take small steps towards a better outcome. Recognize where you are stuck.
• Your Leadership: Role-model awareness and calmness. Be willing to repeat information and direction. Acknowledge that procrastination and lack of energy is normal at the beginning of any change. Encourage small steps. Commit to doing your own work so that you bring compassion and understanding to your team.

2. Anger

• Your work: Identify the source of your anger and express it constructively. Stay in touch with your body and emotions. Reassure yourself that this, too, shall pass. Let your support theam know what is going on with you.
• Your Leadership: Be empathetic and use validating language. Listen carefully and respond with empathy when someone is hostile. Support them to constructively work with their anger for a better outcome.

3. Bargaining

• Your Work: Evaluate the pros and cons and commit to the plan. Stay focused on the why. Take each piece a step at a time. Stay the course.
• Your Leadership: Listen with empathy, and communicate the positive impact on repeat. Break down the steps into bite-sized parts and coach those who resist. Your confidence will provide emotional safety.

4. Depression

• Your Work: Be aware of negative thoughts, get plenty of sleep, exercise, and express your feelings. Practice gratitude. Journal and/or work with a coach.
• Your Leadership: Don’t take it personally from your team. Assure them that what they are feeling is natural when a comfort zone expands. Illustrate the positive future, celebrate small successes, and keep moving forward.

5. Acceptance

• Your Work: Embrace gratitude for what the change brings, celebrate personal growth and learning.
• Your Leadership: Encourage discussions about possibilities, celebrate the achievements of others, and involve the team in collaborating and visioning a better future.

Learn to Manage Change to Bring Out Your Best

Whether you are navigating a significant pivot in corporate strategy, undergoing a comprehensive restructuring, exploring opportunities to sell your business, implementing a cutting-edge new system, or introducing dynamic leaders into your organization, it is crucial to recognize that change is an inevitable part of growth and progress. Your emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in effectively managing these transformative endeavors, ensuring the well-being and success of both yourself and those under your guidance.

Remember always:?

• Listen attentively and empathetically to the concerns and needs of others, fostering open communication channels that promote collaboration and trust.
• Consistently communicate updates, objectives, and expectations with clarity and transparency, providing a sense of direction and purpose throughout the change process.
• Cultivate an emotionally safe environment, where individuals feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, ideas, and concerns without fear of judgment or retribution.
• Embrace change as a natural and necessary catalyst for innovation and advancement, encouraging a growth mindset that emboldens individuals and teams to explore new possibilities and adapt to evolving circumstances.

By consciously embracing these principles, you can effectively navigate and harness the transformative power of change, propelling your organization and yourself towards lasting success and fulfillment.