How to determine the strengths of those colleagues who irritate you.

This is a hard subject.?

The registrars you disagree with, the consultant who’s rude to you, the person who is reluctant to make a decision. To the shouty extrovert team member who insists on putting their point across, wherever they are. ?

These are not trivial issues and can eat away at you, and stop you making progress.

As senior nurses and AHP you have enough to do in your clinical role without thinking you have to do this as well, and why would you want to do it anyway? ?

So, you put up with it, “It’s just part of the job.”

It sounds harsh but by putting up with it and not taking any action, you become part of the problem, and along comes the next generation with the same mindset….

?So why am I discussing this? I remember trying to work this out years ago, and change my opinion on someone who really irritated me. ?All I could come up with, was that he was apparently a good surgeon.

?It didn’t work.

?For some professionals your senior role can be seen as a threat. Potentially causing hostilities towards you and your peers.

It may that you are doing a job that previously was the domain of doctors. With that comes the challenges of professional hierarchy, decades of tradition, the medical model, gender or cultural issues.?

You may be managing a department, where you need to engage with many different professions, some receptive, some not. Whatever clinical situation you are in, it’s harder when there is a lack of engagement.

You likely have your own internal biases about someone, based on previous experiences, which in itself is a barrier to progress.

?What do you actually want to happen? To be respected? Valued for your contributions? Liked? That’s surely not a big ask I hear you say.

Often conflicts arise due to misunderstandings and different communication styles. ???

What if, getting to know someone a bit better improved your situation?

Here’s a few pointers for you to consider:

-????????? Remind yourself that behaviour it situational, often influenced by factors like stress, communication styles or personal circumstances.

-????????? Try to separate the behaviours or traits from the person themselves. Easier said than done, you might say, but it’s an important skill to develop in healthcare in helping you to develop respectful professional relationships.

-????????? Find some common ground with the other person, look for a shared interest, value or experience. Start to see them from a different dimension, rather than solely through the lens of the irritation.

-????????? Try to separate intent from impact. Consider that some people don’t have the intention to offend, despite the valid negative impact on you. Or have no clue how its affecting you.

-????????? When you do talk to the other person, communicate respectfully. Avoid accusatory language and the temptation to go into attack mode!

Everyone has the potential to improve, and by focusing on constructive solutions rather than personal attacks. You can work towards contributing to a more collaborative and respectful workplace, and lead by example.????

Good for everyone.

Have a go!

I’d love to hear how you get on, and if you would some help, drop me a message and let’s talk.?

#seniornurse #alliedhealthprofessional #communication #coaching