HOW TO DESTROY ANY RELATIONSHIP (IN 7 SIMPLE STEPS)
I have seen many people struggling in their relationships on a daily basis. Some of my clients, family members, friends… even I was one of them at some point of my life. Even though the arrangement they have is no longer working for them, they are too afraid to move on, yet too stubborn and proud to look for a solution. They stick to the idea that some magic will happen and suddenly everything will take a turn for better. They will, put the blame on anyone or anything around them without asking themselves at least once “what have I done to change it”?
Let me break this news to you: there is no magic wand! If something isn’t working – it needs to be addressed and worked on. No shortcuts, I’m afraid. And even if you do not address these problems and decide to move on, you will repeat the same pattern in your next relationships. Take a minute and breathe! Ask yourself what doesn’t work and why. You know the answer – be honest!
It may feel forced and uncomfortable, so if you are not willing to work on it though, please see my list of the 7 most common relationship “destroyers”. These can aid you on the way of breaking into pieces any relationship (any of these are present in your life now?):
- Hold on to your EGO – ego was designed by nature to help us protect ourselves, letting it go leaves us vulnerable. Hold on to it! Don’t ever let your partner see you for who you really are. They will have the ego-charged impression of you at all times – the best way to destroy your relationship!
- Be selfish and always put yourself first – dismiss the idea of negotiating, discussing and compromising. At the end of the day it is only you who matters, why should you think “us” when you can think “me”?
- Do never admit to mistakes – nobody needs to know you are not perfect and by all means never, ever, ever give up during an argument! You and only you are right! Let’s keep destroying that partnership.
- Have no trust – trust is overrated. Be suspicious and jealous at all times. And as they say “trust is not given – must be earned” – make your partner earn it then.
- Quit the idea of loyalty – being loyal is for losers. You have the right to do whatever you want. A disclaimer – still expect full loyalty from your partner (re: rule no 2 – be selfish).
- Never let go of an argument – hold grudges and remind your partner every day of how much they have hurt you and how they have been wrong. Make it a “good morning” and “good night” message – make it sink in.
- Have no belief in yourself and your partner – make it a goal to have a low self-value and project it onto your partner. Make the two of you feel miserable, unappreciated, devalued and basically like sh*t!
There you have it – if you are not willing to work to improve your relationship, if you are not ready to admit your own shortcomings and mistakes – just apply the above and you will be out of the relationship in no time.
On a contrary, if reading this article made you think or you have realised that there are some small changes that could be applied and your relationship would benefit – do not hesitate another minute. Make that change happen and improve the quality of your and your partner’s life. It will be all worth it! You will benefit on a personal and relationship level for many years to come.
If you are ready to change and ready to work on it – reach out! First of all, to your partner – let them know what you have realised. Start an honest communication stream instantly. Invest in yourself. Get a self-help and self-development books, attend seminars or webinars, follow groups which support your change. Get a coach, a counsellor, a therapist – depending on the nature of your problems. These specialists are there, ready to guide you and your partner through the process and maximise the chance of the two of you succeeding in building (or re-building) strong, happy and loving relationship which will last a lifetime.
Get in touch and see how I can help.
Izabela