How to Deliver Effective Feedback

There are few words that send shivers down the spine of employees quite like “I have some feedback for you”. Why is it that feedback is perceived so negatively? It’s often something that is viewed unfavourably because we have been on the receiving end of “constructive feedback” that has been delivered poorly.

As a leader, it is our responsibility to deliver feedback effectively. If you’re wondering about

?? Why feedback is important

?? How best to prepare for giving feedback

?? How to do it so it gets the results you want

?? Receiving feedback with grace

Then read on...

It’s worth mentioning here that Delivering Effective Feedback is one of the workshops I offer my clients. If you are interested in finding out more, you can book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/happieratworkhq/speaking ?

Listen to my previous podcast about delivering feedback here:

Why is feedback important?

Feedback is important because it helps us to learn and grow as employees. It helps us to understand where we are in relation to the expectations and objectives set; where we are performing well and what areas we need to improve in order to achieve our goals.

Some considerations before delivering feedback…

It's important to set really clear expectations for employees, this can include expectations around time and quality of the work they’ll be doing. Set clear objectives, and set out some time in the future to review how performance is going against those objectives. Not only does this make delivering feedback easier, it makes it much more likely that the person will deliver on those expectations because they have the necessary clarity.

One way to ensure that things are absolutely clear between you (differing communication styles and all that!) is to check for understanding by asking the person to explain the expectation in their own words.

Another aspect of feedback is listening. Feedback should be seen as a two-way street and move in all directions in an organisation. Is there an environment of psychological safety in your workplace? Do people feel free to share their thoughts and challenge the status quo??

Learn more about psychological safety in this previous newsletter.

If people don’t feel safe to share their thoughts openly, an anonymous feedback survey may be the best approach. In previous organisations I worked in, we used 360o feedback. In my experience, receiving conflicting feedback from different sources did not help me progress in my career.

Don’t forget to proactively seek out feedback as a manager; ask your direct reports about what you’re doing well and how you could improve (it may differ from person to person, which is normal!).?

If you find yourself in a difficult situation with your own manager, you can listen to this previous podcast episode about managing up .

Delivering effective feedback?

In a nutshell, when it comes to delivering effective feedback - effective meaning it has the desired outcome - you need to have a clear intention for the feedback. The below works for both positive and developmental feedback.

• What is the outcome you want from delivering the feedback? It is a required change in behaviour, clarity on the issue, and buy-in from the recipient
• Prepare for your feedback meeting by outlining specific examples that back up what you want to say
• Impromptu meetings usually works best - there’s not much worse than receiving a meeting request for ‘feedback’ days in advance
• Allow sufficient time for questions
• Show empathy - it can be uncomfortable for both parties
• Focus on the future and the change you would like to see, rather than dwelling on the past mistakes
• Timing is everything - feedback is best given in the moment, or as close as possible
• After delivering feedback, give the person time to digest and revert with any questions if they have them (especially if they are a bit more introverted like me!)

Feedback framework

I like the SBI? framework - it’s concise, clear and easy to remember.

Situation - describe the situation or context that you are referring to

Behaviour - it’s important to focus on the behaviour and not on the person

Impact - this is sometimes forgotten, but it’s important to include the impact the behaviour had on you, the team and/ or the organisation.?

Example of using the SBI? framework: (S) This afternoon during the client meeting, (B) you interrupted me while I was trying to help you out, (I) this made me feel undermined in front of the client.

During the meeting, focus on using “I” instead of “you”, be clear in your communication, check for understanding and don’t try to fill the silences.

A note of caution: when people are receiving feedback they can see it as a personal attack and only focus on the negative and think it’s about them personally rather than the behaviour. Once when delivering feedback, the person said to me “that’s just the way I am” - they thought I was focusing on and addressing them as a person rather than their behaviour and the impact it was having.

Fixed vs Growth Mindset

This leads me nicely to briefly covering the fixed versus growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe they are born as they are and cannot change, those with a growth mindset believe that change is possible. It’s important from a feedback perspective to believe that growth is possible. It’s also worth noting that I believe we can have a fixed mindset in some areas of our life, and a growth mindset in others, e.g. I’ll never be good with numbers (fixed), versus I’ll learn what I need to know to get my point across (growth).

Positive feedback

We often forget to let people know when they are doing a good job. I’ve heard from clients that even when they ask for feedback their boss thinks it’s a waste of time because there’s nothing to discuss. We can assume that “no news is good news”. But from an employee’s perspective, it’s important to know what they are doing well, and also to consider whether there really are no areas for development.

Watching Below Deck a few years ago (I know, I know… my secret binge watch ??) and Captain Lee gave some feedback along the lines of “keep up the great work” - which was nice to hear, but not very useful. I have also been on the receiving end of such a line - “just keep doing what you’re doing” - the implication being I was doing well and would be recognised for it in due course. I couldn’t help but wonder, why wasn’t I being recognised now?

I love keeping a file of all the positive feedback I have received over the years, so that I can refer back to it when I am having an off day - I recommend it to all my clients!

Receiving feedback

It’s always great to hear positive feedback, even more so when it is specific and constructive. But when on the receiving end of developmental feedback, it can feel like a blow to our egos. Here are a few thoughts to help with receiving this type of feedback:

• Assume positive intent - believe that the person delivering the feedback has your best interest at heart and they are there to help you develop your career
• See feedback as a gift - receive it with grace, and use it as a way to develop and advance your career
• Only act on the feedback you feel you need to - perhaps not all feedback will be relevant to what you are trying to achieve, you can choose to implement or ignore as you see fit (but don’t ignore it because you don’t like the person/message!)
• Remember the growth mindset - this feedback is reflective of a point in time and you can change and grow over time
• It can highlight blindspots we were not previously aware of and help us grow in self-awareness, an important leadership skill
• Taken well, feedback can help you build a better relationship with the person delivering the feedback

My own experiences with feedback

I’ve always been very ambitious at work. I remember a time when I agreed with my manager that we would meet every week to discuss a potential promotion within 3 months. We had

regular catch ups and as far as I was concerned, all was going according to plan. When it came to the 3 month catchup, I broached the subject of promotion. He immediately said no that it wouldn’t be happening. When I asked for specific feedback, he said “it’s the little things”, when I asked for specifics, he said he’d “ have to check the job description”.

What was this feedback bad?

• My expectations hadn’t been managed throughout the process
• His feedback about why I wouldn’t be promoted wasn’t specific enough

On another occasion, I was asked to deliver negative feedback on behalf of someone else. This made for a very awkward conversation as I lacked the first hand experience of what had gone wrong. The person who was due to deliver the feedback didn’t want to damage the relationship with the person receiving the feedback.?

Why was this bad?

• You should take personal responsibility for delivering feedback to someone, even if it makes you feel bad

When I was managing a relatively new team, two of my team members approached me looking for feedback. I thought they both were doing a phenomenal job, but hadn’t told them that.

What I learned from this:

• Don’t wait to be asked for feedback, ask someone if they’d like soe feedback (if it’s bad) or proactively share positive feedback with the team
• Be specific about why the behaviour is in line with expectations

Final thoughts:?

“What other people think of me is none of my business”

Wayne Dyer

It’s right that we shouldn’t spend too much time dwelling on what others think of us, but when it comes to feedback, it’s important to listen to the voices of those who get to decide our future from a career perspective.

What is your experience of giving/ receiving feedback? I’d love to know in the comments, join the conversation.

What to look forward to

In the next edition of this newsletter, I will talk about women in leadership. Available in 2 weeks.

On the Happier at Work programme, we focus on 3 pillars: workplace culture; empowerment; and balance.?

Happier at Work partners with business leaders to support them to create and maintain happier working environments by focusing on the pillars of: workplace culture; empowerment; and balance. We offer speaking, training and workshops; happiness audits; research; and corporate programmes.

Aoife O’Brien is the founder of Happier at Work, a business with the mission to support organisations in retaining top talent. She is passionate about ‘fit’ and specifically how creating the right environment can help individuals to reach their full potential and support organisations to thrive. She is a self-professed data nerd, with a 20+ year career in market research in the fast-moving consumer goods industry working with clients like Coca Cola, Unilever and Heinz to solve marketing problems using data analytics. Aoife has been featured by several media platforms and public speaking events talking about imposter syndrome, fit, employee engagement, and productivity. She has lived and worked in Dublin, London, Perth, and Sydney and has a MSc in Work and Organisational Behaviour, a Diploma in Executive and Life Coaching and a Certificate in Career Coaching.?

The Happier at Work podcast , features a combination of interview-based episodes as well as solo podcasting, and has more than 70k listens in more than 50 countries. It was recently runner up for 2 awards. You can sign up to the Happier at Work LinkedIn Newsletter to receive the podcast straight in your LinkedIn notifications when it goes live every Friday!