How to Deliver Bad News Well

As a leader, there are going to be times in your career when you need to deliver bad news. There’s no escaping it. No shirking the responsibility. You might need to make people redundant or dismiss them. It could fall to you to take away sick pay, or explain that the business structure or their reporting line is changing in a way you know they won’t be happy about. Those are just a few examples plucked from my own experience but you get the picture

The times when you have to give bad news can have a disproportionate effect on how you’re perceived as a leader and on the people you have to give bad news to. Get it right and you lessen the impact. Get it wrong and you’ve fallen firmly into the d*ckhead trap. So how do you do it well?

The number one thing I advise in this situation is to be compassionate. To the person (or people) you’re delivering bad news to. And also to yourself. That’s all well and good, but how does it translate in practise?

Prepare yourself – thinking about the practicalities ahead of time can make things more concrete and save you sleepless nights of general worry and anxiety about the fact you have to do it at all. Having a plan for how you’re going to deliver it doesn’t mean it will automatically go swimmingly. But it can help you anticipate how you’ll need to act, as well as what response or reaction you might get and how you can best handle that

On which note….

Be mindful of the when, where and how you deliver the news. I’ve heard some pretty hideous stories of people given bad news by text and email. It might not be comfortable, but bad news is best delivered personally and respectfully which means in person, video call or at least a phone call

It’s especially important if the message is to a group rather than one individual. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that one person saying to colleagues ‘have you seen that email?’ doesn’t tee a message up well, but a friend was included on a group email that warned people they were at risk of redundancy

Timing is also key here – delivering bad news on a Friday afternoon or the day before someone is due to go on holiday means they will likely stew on things without being able to ask questions or get answers and there’s often no reason it couldn’t have waited

And don’t forget the environment. Delivering bad news can often provoke an emotional reaction, so having the conversation in a glass fronted meeting room is less than ideal, as is doing it somewhere public. (And yes, I have also known both of those to happen). Make it somewhere private and ideally somewhere you can step away from if someone needs time to collect themselves

Empathy, empathy, empathy I can’t stress enough how helpful it can be to truly step into someone’s shoes and consider what the impact of this news is likely to be and how they might feel as a result. The more you can do this ahead of time, the less of a surprise the reaction is likely to be

A useful tool for this is the change curve. If you’ve heard of it but aren’t fully familiar with it, it’s a model for how people respond to significant upheaval and change. Depending on the version you look at there might be between 4 and 7 stages, but for simplicity when delivering bad news I like to consider the four stages below.

How much you might see of each (and how quickly someone tends to move through the curve) will vary from person to person. It can be useful to think about things like how they have responded to change and / or bad news previously as well as factors like how much of an impact this news is likely to have and whether other factors like stress or family circumstances could come into play

The change curve stages

Shock / Denial – this can happen even when the signs were there. Someone at a disciplinary meeting who’s being dismissed is still likely to be shocked, even if they knew it could be an outcome. Someone being told they are at risk of redundancy may well not have admitted to themselves this was in the offing, even though the company financial updates haven’t been good for months. Don’t be surprised if something you thought was obvious seems to take the recipient by surprise

Anger / Resistance – logic is one thing, but being on the receiving end of bad news means logic can go right out of the window as fear and uncertainty kick in. Realising this ??is actually happening can prompt strong emotions. And if you’re the messenger, this can be firmly aimed at you. Even if it wasn’t your decision.

So be prepared for people to lash out a bit, and don’t take it personally. Let them express their emotions and be prepared to listen. You might get tears, raised voices, or what seems to be irrational behaviour. Accept them for what they are and don’t try and sweep them under the carpet or ignore them

Exploration / Acceptance – this is the stage where rational thinking kicks in and people start to try and figure out next steps and what the news means for them. Although the model includes acceptance at this stage, you’re unlikely to get that far in a first conversation

Be prepared to answer questions and give clarification. Be transparent rather than evasive and be ready to share any support you or the business might be able to offer. If you’re warning of potential redundancy but there’s outplacement support available, say so. If there’s an employee assistance programme in place which gives access to counselling, share the details

Commitment / Moving on – let’s be honest, it’s probably cloud cuckoo land to expect someone is going to shift seamlessly from shock through to acceptance and moving on within one conversation. Your aim here isn’t to get someone to this stage. It’s to lay the groundwork and manage the conversation as best you can so they can get to this stage later

Within the conversation there are a few things that are worth bearing in mind. If you’re nervous or anxious about what’s about to play out, the temptation can be to waffle or start with some pleasantries. The problem with that is the other person (or people if it’s a group) can pick up on your anxiety. ?It can also be hard to find an appropriate segway to get to the real reason for the conversation. So get to the point quickly rather than beat around the bush. Have some notes or practise your first few sentences if you need do.

As you’re talking, think about the language you’re using. Make it factual and non-emotive when you’re delivering news. That means choosing words that are not going to heighten the emotions that are already likely to come about. What it doesn’t mean being cold and robotic – you can acknowledge the emotions that come up, just don’t stir them

And don’t forget a conversation is two-way. While you might need to get to the point initially, you also need to know when to stop talking. Give thinking time and space rather than expect a coherent response straight away. If there could be tears, have tissues. Take a breather for a few minutes or offer to go and get a glass of water

Also, don’t be surprised if some of the questions and responses seem like tiny, inconsequential details. I once had to made store teams redundant when a business went into administration and some of the questions when people were locking up and leaving the site included whether they should unplug the fridge (because the freezer compartment would defrost) and what they should do with the rubbish. I was flummoxed at the time but with hindsight it was obvious that response came from still being in shock and denial

Follow up – the conversation itself is one thing. But however well you handle that, make sure you follow up. You might want to send a written or email summary of some of the points you covered. You might capture any questions you need to go away and get answers to. Or you might just agree to check back in a couple of days later

It might seem like they’d rather never speak to you again (and that might also be more comfortable for you if the news has been particularly bad) but more often than not some sort of follow-up and support is part of the process that you need to plan for

Look after yourself – it might come with the territory when you’re a leader, but giving bad news is no one’s idea of fun. So recognise that it’s likely to have an impact on you too, and look after yourself. That might mean clearing your calendar after a conversation so you’re not expecting yourself to jump straight into another conversation or meeting as if nothing had happened. It might mean going for a coffee or a walk to clear your head. Or talking to someone else who gets it and can reassure you that you’re not a horrible person just because you made a tough decision. Whatever works for you

If you’re one of the leaders who finds this stuff a challenge, you’re not alone. It gets easier with experience. And if you’re facing this for the first time and need some support, drop me a DM to find out how I can help?