How NOT to Deliver Bad News

Welcome back to my LinkedIn newsletter where I share tips, ideas, and strategies to help you become more effective in business and life.

Download my free guide to 7 Myths to Working Effectively Across Cultures

One of the greatest challenges as a manager is delivering bad news. From studying these conversations for many years, I've learned that when people fail to keep their emotions in check when delivering bad news, they can fall prey to one of five different dysfunctional conversation types.

Dysfunctional Conversation #1: Bargaining

This is when you allow the conversation to become a negotiation when it really can’t be one. When employees receive negative news, it’s the most natural thing in the world to engage in a “but why?” conversation — as in: “But why do you have to do this?”… “But why is this necessary?”… “But why does it have to be me?”. As a manager, you can't fall into this trap of the “but why” conversation. You certainly can be compassionate, but don't stray from your message.

Dysfunctional Conversation #2: Cushioning

With cushioning, you soften the blow, but in doing so, you actually end up confusing the other person since they have no idea what you’re saying.? In one organization I studied managers were required to say the word "termination" within the first 10 seconds of the meeting to guard against this dysfunctional conversation type.

Dysfunctional Conversation #3: Unloading

With unloading, the person delivering the message can’t control their feelings. So they unload: they deliver the message in a hurried, panicked way – freeing themselves of the emotional burden they had been carrying and unloading it onto the victim. And as you can imagine, the message delivered is often less than dignifying and interpersonally sensitive.

Dysfunctional Conversation #4: Arguing

Sometimes people receiving negative news feel it’s unfair. They want to fight back and argue. But as the person delivering the message, you can’t let this happen. One company I studied taught managers to allow employees to vent, but then restate their message again, clearly and succinctly. You need to control yourself in a way that diffuses a potential conflict instead of fueling the fire.

Dysfunctional Conversation #5: Mechanizing

Finally, the final dysfunctional conversational type is mechanizing. Emotion gets the best of you, but instead of arguing, you detach. You go “robotic,” delivering the message in a stilted, awkward style that, like the other dysfunctional conversation types, is hardly dignifying -- albeit for different reasons.

Have you ever let emotion get the best of you in a difficult conversation?