HOW TO DEFINE, DECLARE, AND DOMINATE THE WAR WITHIN AND WITHOUT

I want to introduce you today to a framework that I use in my life called Define, Declare, and Dominate, which helps me as a goal-setting framework both personally and professionally. The main idea here is that, in order to achieve anything, we need to first define in great detail where we are right now and tell the truth about the things that are working and the things that are not working. Then, we need to declare where it is that we want to go or what it is that we want to change about our current situation. Finally, if we want to accomplish anything, we must ruthlessly dominate the milestones and steps to help us achieve where we want to go.

Why does this even matter? I feel like a lot of us live in a spiral of knowing where we are, knowing what we want to do, knowing what we need to do, knowing what we could do and should do, but don’t do. The reason that we don’t do it is that we haven’t gained enough leverage on ourselves to call ourselves to action. By leverage, I mean that we haven’t made the problem hurt enough or be big enough to be worth changing, so we just let it be and let the day go by thinking, “I’ll do that thing tomorrow.”

“CHANGE HAPPENS WHEN THE PAIN OF STAYING THE SAME IS GREATER THAN THE PAIN OF CHANGE.” – TONY ROBBINS

So, let me first introduce you to the framework and then give you some helpful questions you can use to call yourself to action and hopefully start your journey towards achieving everything you want in life.

DEFINE

We must get really, really honest with ourselves about where we are right now in our lives. Understanding the facts and stories that we’ve believed to get us to this point where we are today. After all, all that we have is the present moment, and life is an addition of all present moments added together throughout all the time we are on this amazing planet. Where are we in our journey right now? Are we winning or are we losing? Are there certain areas that we know we could improve, and what is the most important area?

Understanding where we are is the most foundational step and telling the truth about it without any feelings. One thing I notice a lot in coaching is that if you ask someone for a number (fact) and the answer ends up being a long-winded story, it means that there is some shame or something going on with that fact. Notice when you tell yourself stories rather than just saying what the truth is.

We all have trauma and stories and history in our lives. If you’ve been on this earth for any period of time, you’ve experienced joy, and you’ve experienced suffering. The main thing that matters is what we do with it and how to grow. And the growth that we can achieve starts today.

Admit the areas that you want to grow in, and then move on to the next step.

DECLARE

Once we’ve gotten the facts and stories straight, we can start to identify the main things or patterns that have gotten us where we are. What is working? What is not working? What needs to change? I like to do a thought exercise where we envision 12 months into the future. Everything has gone perfectly, and we’ve achieved everything we think is possible in the past 12 months. What is true? By creating an amazing vision of what’s to come in the future, we are able to fill in the pixels on the TV screen and actually start creating it.

DOMINATE

The final step in this is to call yourself to action, but also to find the leverage points that we can gain on ourselves. By asking the question, “What will happen if I don’t do this?” we can get really clear answers about what we don’t want and understand that, on a long enough timeline, whatever it is that we are doing will have consequences. What are the consequences of staying the same?

When we gain that leverage, we will have something driving us every single day. I also like to create mini ‘frameworks’ for my journey so that I know that I’m making progress along the way. It helps me understand what step of my journey I’m on and understand that there are phases that might take some time, but the end outcome is something incredible.

Here is an example from the year 2022 after I went through a divorce. I knew I never wanted my life or business to be the same as it was before, and it was one of the biggest seasons of growth I achieved. I had to get my finances right, rebuild my business, and figure out how to be alone again. My framework was this: Stabilize the kingdom, Sustain the kingdom, Strategize the kingdom, and Scale the kingdom. Based on this, my first step was stabilizing; I knew I needed to get some things back to homeostasis, so that was my first step. Then I needed to sustain that progress for a decent amount of time, so I could then strategize what’s coming next and start to scale my outcomes. I’m in the scale phase of that one now.

CONCLUSION

There will always be bumps in the road. Things aren’t going to go the way you plan, and some things don’t pan out. You’ll lose and gain relationships, lose and gain money, lose and gain weight along the way. We can’t be too hard on ourselves, but the only thing we can do is wake up each day and keep going. Continue with a relentless pursuit of what we were put on this earth for.

If you’re reading this, I hope it’s provoked some thought, and you’re already starting to think about some of the facts of where you are now, where you want to go, and some steps to get there. The future and change begin today, right now. SHOOT ME A DM and let me know what you’re committed to doing! I’d love to hear from you.

QUESTIONS:

• Where am I truly at right now? (Expand in Health, Wealth, Relationships, Self)
• What is the story I’m telling myself that has gotten me to this point?
• What are the facts about my current situation (without feelings)?
• How do those facts make me feel right now?
• What is working right now?
• What is not working right now?

DECLARE:

• Where do I really want to go?
• If it was 12 months from now, and you could wave a magic wand and have or be anything you want, what would you be doing?
• What are the new facts (without feelings)?
• How will you feel about your life/business/relationships?

DOMINATE:

• Looking at the gap of where I am to where I want to go, what is one thing I could start right now (that I’ll actually do) that will help me gain momentum in that direction?
• What happens if I don’t change anything and it all remains the same?
• What is the cost of not taking action? (For example, not losing weight could lead to diabetes, early death, disease)
• Looking at the next 12 months, how can I set up 4-6 ‘steps’ that will get me there?
• What are those steps? (These are your missions/milestones)