How to decide what is unworkable in a perfect storm?

I experienced a perfect storm when finalising the editing of my first book, Centred: How to Lead with Confidence in times of Complex Change . It was a whirlwind that led me to make a choice about what was and wasn’t workable.

Email subscribers may have been wondering why they didn’t receive an email from me that week, and that's why—it simply wasn’t workable.

I planned to write last week’s newsletter in Bali at the Global Speakers Summit. What an experience that was! I made so many invaluable connections with professional speakers from around the world and walked away with countless learnings. However, the universe had other plans for me.

I was in the final stages of book production and knew that while in Bali I would need to review and respond to my editor’s comments on the second half of my manuscript. After the Summit, I had a one-day turnaround to unpack a suitcase designed for tropical Bali, attend to urgent work, insert my edits in the manuscript and repack for an expected wet and cold trip to Melbourne. If necessary, I planned on writing the weekly newsletter before leading my extended family, including my parents in their mid-80s, on another trip to attend my son’s graduation from Navy Recruit School.

For most of the year, I’ve supported my Mum in helping my Dad understand that they could no longer easily live independently in their family home. The time had come to move into a retirement village with less physical load. By the time I went to Bali, my Dad had agreed this was the best option. We were all expecting they would spend months on a waitlist.

On our second day in Bali, I received a panicked text from Mum; they’d been offered a villa at Dad’s first choice in retirement villages. She was worried about whether they should act on the opportunity. Meanwhile, I also received a call from a potential client and agreed to talk further on the night we were transitioning between trips. Then I discovered my parents had signed a contract for the villa and expected me to meet with the real estate agent my parents wanted to sell their house on my one day back in Brisbane.

On our last night in Bali, my other half, who didn’t have roaming activated on this phone, decided to go exploring until the wee hours of the morning. I had no idea where he was or how to contact him, and I didn’t get much sleep.

I headed to the airport, barely functioning, with a big to-do list and limited time to do everything.

In the end, I chose my well-being. I asked myself, “Does it matter if I break my streak and don’t send out a newsletter? Will anyone be hurt if they don’t hear from me this week?” The answer was no.

This was a clear example of applying the workability test I talk about in my book, Centred. As much as I feel it’s important to be consistent, something had to give, and not sending out a newsletter had the least negative consequences.

Sometimes, you have to prioritise what’s truly important in the moment.

It’s a bit like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a tightrope over a pool of hungry crocodiles. At some point, you must decide which torch to drop to avoid setting yourself on fire and falling into the jaws below. In my case, that torch was the newsletter.

I appreciate those of you who regularly read my emails. However, appreciation should not comprise well-being. When the storms have converged and you’re at risk of going under, do what Dr. Kristin Neff, a self-compassion expert, recommends: Show yourself the same kindness you would a friend.

Invest your energy in what’s most important in this moment and let go of what does not serve the here and now, when there are no significant longer-term implications.

I want to leave you with this question today: What do you value but could let go of without significant repercussions to improve your personal well-being?

If this resonated, you may want to read my new book Centred: How to Lead with Confidence in times of Complex Change when it’s released late November 2024.

It’s available for pre-order now!

Pre-order and get 20% off by using the code CENTRED20 at checkout. If you’re from outside Australia and would like to pre-order please drop me a line with your address so I can provide a pre-order price with postage specific to your location.

#CentredLeadership #SelfCompassion #Mindfulness

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