How to Debate at Work
Bruce Hurwitz, Ph.D.
My candidates don't leave ● My career counseling clients get job offers ● My professional writing services clients impress ● I promote the hiring of veterans & first responders ● International Top 20 Career Counselor
It seems that everything today is a debate. In the workplace, if you want to try something new, or, for that matter, try to not change a thing, you can't discuss it, you have to debate it. Few, especially younger workers, know how to debate since they were "educated" at "schools" with "safe spaces" where any disagreement, not to mention an "inappropriate" word, was a punishable offense. If there is a way to complain, these people will find it. And since all they know how to do is yell, volume is their preferred way to "win" an argument.
But there are ways to debate and bosses, sadly, have to teach them:
Authoritative. Guess what! (By the way, "guess what" is NOT a question!) The boss is the boss and therefore can settle any issue. A good boss will seek advice, explain why he decided what he decided (oops, I wrote "he" and now I'm going to be yelled at!) and that will end the matter. That's the job of the boss - to make the hard decisions. So there really is no debate. The boss gathers information and based on that, she (now they won't yell at me!) decides.
Emotional. In some cases, a topic can be emotional, and emotion works well to convince some people to support a project. I wanted to start a program to deal with victims of elder abuse. It was not going to be a revenue stream (although, with the grants I secured, it wasn't going to be an expense). I won the powers-to-be over by telling them things I had discovered about elder abuse. (Don't ask. You don't want to know.)
Factual. If you want to convince me of something, you have to have facts to back it up. When someone argues with me online, my response is usually, "What are your sources?" They usually disappear. Another word for "factual" is "logical." Logic convinces.
Socratic. My favorite way to debate is to take the Socratic approach. This means asking questions. It also means doing your homework and understanding the ramifications of what your "opponent" is trying to do. You have to know the answers to your questions because that is how you know that you will win the debate. If the person answers the questions correctly, you win. If they don't have the answers, since you do, you win. They might be angry with you, but they will not be insulted. It's not your fault they did not know the answers or understand the ramifications of their recommendation.
Ignoring. Ignorance may be bliss, but ignoring someone is ruthless. If someone proposes something, or says something, and you choose not to respond, it is infuriating to them. When I do it, and you may use this, I say it's NWTS. (I'll give you a minute.) Minute's up. Not Worth The Saliva. In other words, what the person wants or says is simply not important and not worth my time. They become furious, are seen as being irrational, and, at least in my experience, look foolish while I look great. But beware: You do not want to make an enemy out of a colleague who may have a future at the company. So be certain the person has little chance of advancing anywhere other than out the door.
One final point, never insult. The minute you insult your "opponent" they win and you lose. It truly is "just business, not personal." The bosses will take note about how you behave under stress, debating. Do well and you will go far. Do poorly and you'll join the previously mentioned protagonist out the door!
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8 个月While the use of the singular "they" is debated, it is not a new invention and saves a lot of time/energy/words making things gender-neutral. Highly recommend. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they