How to deal with a toxic boss

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Early in my career at L’Oréal, I was leading a major initiative, a project that had the attention of senior leadership, including my CEO. I had meticulously planned every step, secured buy-in from my boss (or so I thought), and was on track for success.

During a high-stakes meeting, instead of taking accountability for a decision we had aligned on the days prior, my boss sided with my CEO when he shared pushback. She acted like she had never supported the recommendation to begin with and intentionally made me look bad in front of my leadership team.

I sat there blindsided, while my credibility was undermined. Needless to say, I was furious.

But I quickly realized that reacting emotionally wouldn’t serve me well. Instead, I had to strategize. That moment changed how I approached toxic bosses, and I want to help you do the same. Let's dive in!

PS. Want free access to my Toxic Boss Bootcamp course loaded with practical scripts, templates and role-play video examples covering 20 types of bosses? Simply email [email protected]

What makes dealing with toxic bosses even worse

If you’re working with a toxic boss now or faced one recently, don't let these factors make it harder for you.

→ Engaging in emotional battles: Toxic bosses thrive on control. Reacting impulsively, whether through visible frustration or passive-aggression, gives them power over your emotions.

→ Over-explaining yourself: Trying to over-justify every decision or action can put you in a defensive position. The more you try to “win” their approval, the more leverage they gain.

→ Expecting them to change: Holding onto hope that they’ll suddenly become self-aware and supportive is wishful thinking. Your power comes from how you respond, not from waiting for them to improve. [Check out my LinkedIn Learning free nano-course Nano Tips for Handling Difficult Work Situations]

3 strategies to navigate a toxic boss

1/ Shift the power dynamic with strategic communication

Your words and approach can either escalate tension or neutralize it. Here’s how to communicate strategically when dealing with a toxic boss with some concrete examples.

Situation #1: They throw you under the bus

Instead of reacting emotionally, reframe the situation and use a neutral, facts-based approach like:

"I can certainly understand how much this product launch matters for our quarterly targets and the pressure we're under. At the same time, I want to clarify our alignment on the recommended plan. As we discussed on Monday, we agreed to move ahead with this direction, so I was quite taken aback when you didn't support me on that in our meeting with our VP. I'm also concerned this comes across as though we aren't aligned on our decisions, which can confuse our leadership team and reflect negatively. Moving forward, I want to avoid being in that situation again so we can drive the best results as a team. Do you see where I'm coming from on this?"

Situation #2: They micromanage everything Over-communication can help preempt your boss's control tendencies. Instead of waiting for them to check in obsessively, proactively update them on your terms. For example:

"I know you’re focused on ensuring everything runs smoothly for this initiative. I’ll send a progress update every Friday so you’re always kept in the loop, especially for any areas where I need your direct support. That way, I can focus on execution while keeping you well informed."

Situation #3: They block your growth If your boss is actively stalling your promotion, reframe it in a way that positions them as a leader invested in your development. For example:

"I’m eager to take on more responsibility and contribute at a higher level in the team. That said, the projects I worked on the past 6 months didn't allow me to fully leverage my strengths. I'd like your support on the key skills I should focus on now to position myself for this transition in the team this year. Here's what I propose..."

Pro tip: If they’re blocking your growth, it’s usually for one of two reasons: they see you as a threat or they rely on you too much to replace you. To navigate this, suggest specific areas where you’d like more involvement in your growth goals to make it easier for them to say yes. You'll likely need to proactively propose a transition plan and build allies who can advocate for your progression beyond your boss.

[Check out my LinkedIn Learning free nano-course Nano Tips to Fast-Track Your Career]

2/ Protect your confidence and boundaries

Toxic bosses can erode your confidence if you let them. Your best defense?

→ Avoid internalizing their behaviour as it isn't about you: Your boss’s toxicity is a reflection of their own insecurities, not your abilities. When you recognize this is more about them projecting onto you than anything else, you regain power to put your energy towards stakeholders who can offset this negativity.

→ Document everything to protect yourself: Keep a record of key decisions, approvals, and project expectations (via email recaps), as well as inappropriate behaviour, shifting demands, or contradictions. For example, "Following up on our conversation, I’ll shift my focus to [task X] per your direction. Let me know if this changes." This way, if they pushback or change their mind, you have clear paper trails to back yourself up. This is particularly important if senior leadership needs to get involved.

→ Set boundaries and manage their expectations: A toxic boss will easily push your limits so use firm but neutral responses to maintain control. Here's some examples.

Overloaded workload: "To prioritize this new request, should I push [X task] to next week? I'm already working through the priorities we outlined last week and I wouldn't want to impact the deadlines of those by taking this on now."

Constant late-night demands: "I'm happy to support in urgent cases. That said, I'd like to streamline priorities to avoid last-minute work request that could compromise the quality of the work. I perform best in the mornings and would like to come back to this tomorrow."

Non-constructive criticism: "I’m always open to feedback. Could you share a specific example on where I fell short on that? The feedback I've received from others has been positive on this so I'd like to better understand where the disconnect you see is coming from."

Gaslighting or dismissing concerns: "Let’s clarify expectations to ensure we stay aligned moving forward. From my records, we had agreed to this direction from the data I showed you and I still believe this is the right approach."

3/ Know when to stay and when to walk away

Some situations can be managed strategically, while others require a decisive exit. The key is knowing when to fight and when to move on.

→ When is it worth staying? If the toxicity is isolated to your boss, here's some options to consider. Can you transfer to another team with a better leader? Can you set firm boundaries, communicate strategically, and still achieve your goals? Is this challenge helping you develop skills (i.e. resilience, conflict management, influence) that will serve you in the long run? Stay if the toxicity is manageable, and you can leverage this experience for future career growth while creating your plan of action.

→ When is it time to leave? Some workplaces are fundamentally broken. No amount of resilience will fix company-wide toxicity (i.e. leadership enables bad behaviour, unethical culture), constant mental or emotional drain (i.e. your confidence is eroding), little to no career growth (i.e. your boss blocks opportunities, senior leaders don’t support development). My golden rule of thumb is if you’re spending more energy surviving than thriving, it’s time to plan your exit.

[Check out my recent newsletter on How to spot a toxic workplace]

→ How to plan your exit strategically: Leaving shouldn’t be reactive. It should be intentional. Before making a move, clarify your next step. What kind of company, leadership, and culture will set you up for success? Use your current role to your advantage and negotiate for projects that build your resume before you go. Job search discreetly by keeping your network active and putting out feelers with them through exploratory chats.

→ Key questions to help guide your decision-making process:

• Am I growing from this experience, or just enduring it?
• Is this job still aligned with my values and long-term goals?
• Will staying here make me a stronger professional, or just more stressed?
• Can I develop resilience and skills that will serve me long-term?
• Is this environment making me lose confidence and question my abilities?

I never want you to feel stuck or trapped in an environment that's no longer serving you. It's not always easy to make this decision on your own. This was this case for our client who we supported through this process and transitioned her to a new organization where she's now thriving.

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Tiffany Uman

Career Strategy Coach & Workplace Expert ? LinkedIn Learning Instructor ? Former Fortune 500 Senior Director ? Forbes Coaches Council member

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