How to Deal with Shitty Things

Many of us spent the last couple days rethinking our collective positions in society.?And that sucks. But, if the last two+ years has taught us anything, this probably won't be the only shitty thing to happen to you. Here’s my tried and true process for dealing with shitty things.

Set the rules.

Maybe it’s is the Capricorn cusp in me, but I love a good plan. When something shitty happens, train yourself to immediately dedicate 3 minutes to defining when you’ve gone too far. Maybe that's 3 consecutive days of drinking. Maybe it’s one solid closet reorganization and two late mornings.?Whatever you define as the furthest you’d want to go. And then decide who you'll call if you go pass that.?Whether it’s your mom, you sister, or your best friend, commit you’ll reach out if you get too far down in it.

All kidding aside, get help now if you need it. The Mental Health Hotline at?866-903-3787?can answer your questions confidentially and free of charge. Sometimes, a brief conversation is all it takes to put things in perspective and move forward.

Experience the shittiness.

Doing #1 allows you to give yourself the freedom to really commit to how terrible things are. ?Give into the darkest, saddest, most desperate version of your life following this shitty thing. The one where you’re alone, broke, hangry, and listless. In order to complete this phase, you might need to score a carton of cheap Neapolitan ice cream. Or try a dark room and The Cure album, Wish. Think of this as an abbreviated grieving session and give yourself time to mourn or feel the way you feel.

If you're looking to put your current feelings into a playlist, check out Evette Dionne's Roe v. Wade playlist here: 15 Songs To Commemorate Roe v. Wade | Bitch Media

Make it work.

The more formal advice here would be to “integrate” this new shitty thing into your life. Whether it’s a death, a loss of rights, or Taco Bell getting rid of the Double Decker (#thestruggleisreal ), you have to find a way to live in the world as it exists today. So how do you want to make it work for you? Maybe you become more politically active, maybe you start a charity, maybe you don’t need to do anything else. The goal is for you to thrive in this messed up new world.

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."

Maya Angelou,?Writer & Civil Rights Activist

For me, I’m pulling my network in closer this week. I’m trying to listen for areas of agreement that we can start building from. I’m looking for candidates that support not only my rights, but the rights of everyone around me. Most of all, I’m choosing compassion and love. I hope you’ll join me.

More resources are available: How to Cope With Bad News | Psychology Today