How to deal with 're-entry anxiety' after coronavirus lockdown

Excited for a lockdown to end, or are you feeling anxious about re-entering back into a "new normal" with coronavirus still present and daily life having changed so much?

Yesterday the Singaporean government announced the city state would be entering Phase 2 of the country's plan to restart the economy out of the Covid-19 "circuit breaker" period. Restaurants, swimming pools, retail and more will all be allowed to reopen starting this weekend. I was excited, my wife not so much. Then I thought about it some more, and got less excited. Right now as I write this, I'm significantly less enthusiastic about the re-opening than I was yesterday. What happened?

If I had to give a name to what my wife and I are feeling, I'd call it "re-entry anxiety," or "reopen anxiety," a condition many are now grappling with after becoming accustomed to months being spent at home under lockdowns, according to Time. For some, "remaining in the cozy comfort of home appears infinitely preferable to venturing into the outside world. In short, they feel better staying in their shells," says the AFP.

The French call it "snail syndrome." I call it unavoidable.

Full circle

Back in early April with Singapore announced the "circuit breaker" measures, I was crushed. The fact that myself and my family would be stuck at home for months hit like a ton of bricks. The day when the restrictions would eventually lift seemed far off in the future, especially considering there was no set timetable for when it would happen.

April came and went, then May. We settled into a routine. Watched lots of movies, played tons of games, became accustomed to working, playing and entertaining ourselves at home until finally news came that the country would be coming back to some real semblance of normalcy.

Upon hearing the news my first reaction was, "We can go swimming! Time for a trip to the mall! IKEA here we come!" My wife was less enthusiastic. She basically shrugged her shoulders and said, "We'll see what happens. I'm not about to rush out there again until after a week or so." Her reaction tempered mine.

I then realized the last thing I want to do when Phase 2 starts is go out to eat or do any shopping this weekend. There will be too many crowds. Many crowds of people who haven't been out in ages. The idea of big crowds bothers me now.

This would be me and my wife if we were go to out immediately.

We've already been holing up for two months, so what's another couple of days or week? Why not re-enter in a more measured way rather than an explosion of retail and dine-in therapy?

My daughter is back in school already and I'm still working from home for the foreseeable future. How much, and how quickly, do we really want to jump back in? Some of us who are working from home have a choice, while others bouncing back into work don't.

Ending isolation

Self isolation over short or long periods of time can have a serious impact on mental health. The idea for some, myself and my wife included, of jumping back in two feet first isn't something we're ready for. In the Time article, Dr. Ryan Sultan, an assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University’s Irving Medical Center suggests "exposure therapy" as a means of readjustment. Essentially, taking baby steps rather than a full-on return where Sultan says to "set progressive small goals that will get you closer to behavior you find scary. For example, you could start with a walk in the park alone, then try chatting with a friend from your window and finally go for a walk together."

That said, those who suddenly have to return to either offices, retail stores, restaurants or other jobs don't really have the luxury of taking baby steps. If you're one of those workers then you'll go from isolation to full blown re-entry than those who continue to work remotely.

I'm calling this out because for those who aren't in the customer service facing industries, we've got to remember that re-entering is something everybody goes through, and being courteous, patient and respectful towards those people we engage with as we leave our home caves should be a given. Imagine if you've been home for a couple months and are suddenly forced to interact with hundreds of strangers again? That could be really hard on some people given all that's happened and continues to happen.

If a server in a restaurant is slow, don't get upset. If a retail cashier is flustered, don't give them a hard time. If you're asked to wear a mask or take a certain seat, do it. This isn't tied to a specific country or city, it should be a universal.

Allow yourself to be scared

In a Healthline article, psychiatrist Dr. Allie R. Shapiro says, “Remember, no one has ever been through anything like this in the modern world, so no one really knows how to do it ‘right.’ Even the experts don’t have all the answers, so it’s normal to have your own uncertainties and doubts.”

Personally, I'm still scared to some extent. Less for myself than for my partner or child. I primarily worry about contracting Covid-19 and passing it on to them. We each have our own fears or reason behind why we'd be nervous about re-engaging in various social activities or work, and whatever they may be, knowing that you're not alone in these fears helps come to terms with your own.

Re-entry considerations for managers and leadership

This Harvard Review article by Dr. Julia DiGangi, a neuropsychologist and an expert on the effects of chronic stress on our brain and our behavior, has some solid suggestions for leaders and managers of people to consider as employees return to work.

One of the most important points in the article is the idea of reigning in the desire to immediately control a situation, when a more flexible mentality and approach will achieve the most success. "...Leaders should pay keen attention to any reflex that tightens the grip — and actively consider its opposite. Instead of over-investing in process and micromanaging schedules, leaders would be wise to consider a strategy that is far more flexible than feels comfortable for them."

Having been a manager and leader for quite some time, and even during social turmoil situations, I can attest to the desire to want to regain control when you feel you've lost some measure of it. I can also attest that in those instances where I've allowed more flexibility for my staff and their individual needs, the outcome was always 100% better than when I set down a hard line on something. I believe such an approach is particularly salient when considering the re-entry of employees suddenly into the workplace after lockdowns when they're likely dealing with anxiety. Address their safety concerns. Be responsive to their mental health needs. Communicate your expectations and listen to their feedback and concerns, even if you don't agree with it.

Another quality piece of advice by Dr. DiGangi is to focus on "radical clarity" in communications rather than "full transparency." Meaning as employees and teams return to work, there will be an impulse by leadership to place too much attention on too many issues than there are resources available, leading to confusion and difficulty of staff to retain everything. DiGangi says that "leadership would be aided by a communications hierarchy that focuses on strategic priorities at the exclusion of all others."

Navigating 'friendship / colleague re-entry'

One of the interesting outcomes from lockdowns has been around how people have maintained, or not maintained, their personal or professional friendships. What I've seen from lockdowns easing in different countries shows people are sometimes so desperate to reconnect that they'll throw safety and caution to the wind, attending street parties, mixing in large groups or even throwing parties. Yes, I'm looking at you young New Yorkers.

Here in Singapore, mixed groups of up to five people will be allowed to meet in Phase 2, which makes for an interesting dilemma. We're a part of a group of friends here in Singapore comprised of parents and kids. There's 10 of us total. We can't all meet at once so we actually have to come up with a schedule of rotation of how we're going to meet. With us it should be fine, but I can see how there will be some "Why are you hanging out with so-and-so and not us first?" feelings getting hurt in different social groups. The advice I'd have for this is to not take being left out initially as a personal dig or that you're any less important of a friend than others. We're all trying to figure out how to rebuild relationships and common interests and concerns around safety will likely be more of a factor into the "who" of who people meet up with rather than, "Hey! You must like them more!"

The key here is to communicate. Make plans with people in advance and stick to them. Plan get-togethers around what you want to do with people as well as who you want to see.

Don't push people or make them feel like they're left out because they're not ready to meet you for a coffee, dinner, drink or business lunch. Just because you might be ready doesn't mean they are quite yet.

Also, common sense people! I've said it before and I'll say it again, wear a mask when you go out. Keep up with the social distancing. It isn't like Covid-19 magically disappears when a lockdown ends.

Get help for your anxiety

While you might be anxious about re-entering, there could more underlying your anxiety than just re-entry after a lockdown. The pandemic has been incredibly stressful on people across the world with loved ones lost, layoffs, instances of racial injustice and more playing on our consciousness and minds. There's absolutely no shame in seeking help to address mental wellbeing, particularly if you find yourself struggling to integrate back into some degree of whatever the "new normal" might be for you and your country.

?? Do you live in a place where a lockdown has eased? How did you cope with re-entry anxiety? Or, if you live somewhere with an expected lifting of a lockdown, how are you planning on re-entering life and work?