How to Deal With Naysayers, Critics and Negative People?

If you are making a positive change in your life, career or business, you will face pushback. It can come from unexpected quarters. It can be well-intentioned, ill-conceived or just plain nasty.

Criticism can be demoralizing. Being surrounded by doubters can sap your confidence and erode your drive. At worst, criticism can get ugly and personal. It can consume your energy, distract and derail you from achieving your goals.

Decoding "real" advice that helps you course-correct from the white noise is vital. Understanding what motivates your critic is a good yardstick for dealing with them, how you should treat them and points they have raised.

The reality is that not all criticism is negative. Positive feedback can be gold dust. It helps refine your ideas, approach or goals. However, there is a chasm of intent between those seeking to coach or advise and those who denigrate.

Here are three strategies to understand, interpret and deal with different naysayers, nit-pickers and energy thieves.

1. Naysayers. "But you can't…."

Naysayers are people who surround you and who seek to dissuade you from change. They can develop countless "reasons" on why you should not change, be bold, grow and do something that ignites your passion.

Often "naysayers" can be those closest to you, trusted friends, peers, colleagues and even loved ones. In many cases, their intentions are not malicious. They might mean well. They are trying to shield you from disappointment, rejection or failure.

However, it can seem like these people are trying to hold you back. The reasons they list are their "rationalizations" why they could not make to leap to grow. The doubts they voice are projections of their fears. If they do not harbour any ill intent, patience could be the best strategy.?

You can further immunize your nascent change by surrounding yourself with people with similar goals and aspirations. Their energy amplifies your confidence, surf moments of doubt and encourages you when the path is rocky.?

Change is a process, not a snap event. It can hinge on a decision, but it takes slow, persistent steps to bring it to life. Tiny, modest daily progress signals you are committed. Momentum can overawe most doubters. It radiates your belief and swings the closest naysayers into your most incredible supporters.?

2. Nit-Pickers. "It will never work because…."

All ideas have flaws. People trying to better themselves will stumble. Entrepreneurs cannot get every decision right. Your logic will always have holes.

At this point, "nit-pickers" enter the fray. Confident of their infallibility, they are skilled at finding the "gaps" in your thinking, passion or ambition. Nit-pickers like to irritate, poke holes and push down those with whom they disagree. Rather than support, explore, add to an idea, they claim pin pricks are yawning chasms. Flaws so gapping as to render your idea useless.?

Nit-pickers should not be confused with the value of debate. Rich debate unlocks greater understanding. Creativity demands a caustic rub of ideas to strengthen our thinking and tone our actions.?

However, nit-pickers fixated on an obscure or unrelated detail. Points so marginal they miss the big picture. After all, it the dream element of your that inspires you to action. Yes, the devil is in the details, but the angels are in the stars.?

What you have to remember is that drives many nit-pickers is a need for a high degree of certainty. Half-baked to them are uncooked plans, unedible. Specifics and details reassure them. Minutiae are their playground - ammunition to score points and prove they are right.?

In reality, no massive personal, professional and business change is crystal clear from the outset. You will have to learn on the journey, improvise and stumble. All plans are moveable feasts. Static, rigid plans falter. They almost always have to be adjusted to reality's travails.??

The best strategy to protect yourself from nit-pickers, particularly in your transformation's early stages, is to safeguard your enthusiasm, motivation, and optimism. They are a distraction, designed to knock you off course. Sift through the flotsam of their points to make sure there are not valuable ideas or concepts, then discard the rest. Pull up your collar and walk proudly forward into the rain.?

3. Negative People, Energy Thiefs and Malicious Critics "You will never do it…."

Critics come from a place of negativity. They are energy thieves. They seek to sap your joy, spirit and composure. They deliberately seek to stifle your creativity and squash your confidence.

In many cases, hostile critics are deeply pessimistic people. They do not like to see other people succeed and claim unfair advantages in those that do. Often they gain a sense of self-importance, glee and identity, from pulling others down.?

The toxic cocktail of a critic's strident comments has a strong dose of passivity. Stoking a negative person's self-importance and anger is a personal failure to confront their inaction or inability to create change. In these cases, the critic is merely using you as a means to channel their frustrations.

However, others can be more malicious. Unfortunately, the digital world has made criticism a virtually risk-free recreation or not entertain for some. In an era when you can insult, denigrate and mud sling almost without consequences, many have fallen in love with keyboard bull horn.

Even office environments are not free from the scourge. Those that hit "Reply all…" know full well they are broadcasting their cutting comments to belittle and dent reputations. Before pressing "send" their egos balloons, the satisfaction, they have pulled you down.?

In both cases, such negative people are exercising a callow sense of power. They get a fix from righteousness and pointing to others' mistakes. Moreover, they seek to draw you into their well of mutual recriminations and emotionally charged response.?

Instead, engage hostile critics will caution. They feed on the oxygen of your emotional reaction. You cannot "win" the argument with a staunch detractor. It will just feed their ego, malice and incite new levels of unpleasantness.?

If they raise your heckles -breathe deeply - and respond with calm, consideration and empathy. Words are fleeting. They may sting, but what people remember is how you dealt with them—a sober, measured response to those who throw stones. Focus your comments, message and passion on the broader audience. Leave the critics to stew and marinate in their disappointments. Be generous where you can, but always choose to take the high road.?

In the last instance, dealing with naysayers, nitpickers and critics is a good thing. It is proof you are making change, making waves. While some people will come around to your aspirations, others will never be converts. That's fine. Personal, professional, and business transformations are not popularity contests. People that grow and achieve –who create a better version of themselves- always inspire fear, envy and admiration. Seek and expand your cabal of fellow champions, forget the critics and make the change that can inspire us all.??

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About the Author

Simon Trevarthen?is the Founder and Chief Inspiration Officer of?Elevate Your Greatness?(EYG). EYG helps individuals, teams, and organizations unpack the secrets of success by becoming even better versions of themselves through dynamic keynotes, seminars, and workshops on innovation, inspiration and presentation excellence.

Learn more about Elevate Your Greatness see?www.elevateyourgreatness.com