How to Deal with Loved Ones who don’t Understand or Support Your Dreams

Pursuing any dream can be one of the most exciting and fulfilling journeys of your life. But what happens when the people closest to you—the ones you expected to cheer you on—don’t understand or support your goals? It can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you, especially if you had to summon up courage to let them in on it in the first place.

Many of us face this exact situation when we declare that we are planning a new path for themselves. Of course, you want support and encouragement from loved ones, don’t we all? I was fortunate to get a lot of support where it mattered most, from my day-to-day partner and husband, my sister and later my kids as they grew. But not everyone was so keen. For years my mother, although she loved me, didn’t always give me the support I wanted, mostly by asking a ton of “what ifs” and always giving me her uncanny ability to see the worst case scenario. When the enthusiasm falls short of the mark, you can easily fall into second guessing yourself and seeing whatever doubts they see as your own. Despite what feels like a blow to you, this lack of enthusiasm does not need to hold you back, and I’ll tell you why. First though, let’s dive into why this tribe of yours may not be as supportive or happy for you as you expected or hoped.

Understanding Why Loved Ones Don’t Support Your Dreams

It hurts when someone close to you doesn’t share your newfound excitement. Their lack of support can often stem from complex internal reasons, that have little to do with you and everything to do with them. It took me a while to figure out that my mother, was projecting her own insecurities about taking risks and her need to stay in her comfort zone. Given she lived through World War ll, lost her home, loved ones and her way of life during that time, that was pretty understandable. She loved me and she didn’t want me to risk what I had. This does not mean that I didn’t wish there was a whole lot more enthusiasm from her, but I saw it for what it was and was able to stop giving it so much space in my head. Understanding these reasons can help you approach the situation with empathy and reduce the frustration you feel. Here are some reasons your loved ones might not be cheering you on quite yet. Do any of these sound familiar?

• Their Instinct is To Protect You: Your loved ones may hold back support because they’re trying to protect you. Maybe they see a career move as too risky, and they want to protect you from failure or disappointment. While their intentions may be coming from the right place , this kind of protection can stifle your growth, hold you back and impact your future - YOUR future. They may tell you they just want what’s best for you, but are they focused on the rewards or only the potential risks? You need to weigh all of it.
• A Classic Case of Change Fear: When you pursue a big dream, like a career move, it doesn’t just change your life—it can also affect your relationships. Your loved ones might be worrying that success could alter the dynamic between you. As we grow and learn and advance our career, our priorities can shift and they may be harbouring the fear that as that happens, you’ll leave them behind. Remember they know and see you a certain way. If you start showing up as a new improved you, that can be unsettling for them. Not everyone is going to be cool with the change, even when its all for the best, and worry can show up as resistance. For example, a close friend may sound really sceptical about your idea to launch your own business, not because they don’t believe you can do it, but because they worry about losing precious time with you.
• They Just Don’t Get It: Sometimes our loved one’s just don’t understand what it is we are trying to do. If your goals are centred in an industry they know little about, they might be struggling to see the reasons behind your decisions. If they don’t fully grasp the “why,” they may label your dreams as impractical or unattainable.
• Fear of Losing Control Over You: It’s entirely possible that lack of support may come from a fear of losing control or influence over you and your decisions. This doesn’t apply to everyone but there are relationships where this may be at play. If your loved ones are used to always being the ones to guide and advise you, they might really struggle when you decide to pursue something bold and independent. This isn’t uncommon in parent-child relationships and I think most of us can recall some teenage drama when we started to make our own decisions. If this is carrying on into adulthood with you and some of your loved ones, it’s going to get hard for them. But again, this is about them, not you.

Strategies for Dealing with the Lack of Support

Your loved ones may have more than one reason why they are finding it hard to work up the enthusiasm you crave right now. Gaining some insight into why they might not be supporting your dreams can help you regroup and push on. Take some comfort in knowing that there are lots of strategies you can use to deal with it all in a really productive way. Here are some tips you can put to use.

Acknowledge Their Fears Without Letting Them Define You

The next time a loved one questions your path, expresses concern or doubt, acknowledge their concerns, but also remind them that you've thought it through and are committed to moving forward. You can remind yourself and maybe them that their concerns come from a place of caring about you and perhaps their own fears, but you know what you want and only you know the impact this will have on your career and life. Don’t let their fears turn into yours.

Communicate Your Bold Move Clearly

Sometimes, that tribe of yours just needs better messaging from you, so they can fully grasp your goals and why they matter to you. When you explain your plans and vison for yourself, focus on the potential rewards and the fulfilment you’ll gain, the way this will make you feel. This will help them to see how your plans fit into the bigger picture of your life and how you’ve taken the time to really prepare for the journey ahead.

Set Firm and Non-Negotiable Boundaries for Negative Feedback

If you are sharing your dreams with loved ones, then I'm guessing you care about what they think. That is why lack of support showing up as negative and unhelpful feedback is so hurtful. If you care about what they think, then by all means listen to the concerns, however, it’s okay to protect yourself and prioritize your energy and mindset. If the concerns are not valid and their doubts are weighing you down, causing you to second guess, it’s time to set boundaries. Let them know that while you respect their opinions, you need space to pursue your goals without negativity.

Find Support in Like-Minded Communities

If your immediate circle of loved ones isn’t providing the support and cheering on you need, go find one that will. When I started my foray into the on-line world, I joined a weekly check-in with 4 other women on similar journeys. We met on line once a week and gave each other encouragement, shared our struggles and held one another accountable. Go get those people who understand your goals and will give you the encouragement you need. They are out there and you can find them by joining on-line communities of like-minded individuals. You’d be surprised how many people you can find who will boost you up and help you stay motivated. I had a ton of big dreams for myself, but it wasn’t until I worked up the courage to vocalize what were some pretty half-baked ideas, that I found a village to support me.

Stop the Share - Ignore Them

Only you know your people and how far your attempts to get them on side are going to work out for you. At the end of the day, your dreams belong to you and you alone. And while most of us crave the approval of those closest to us , your journey does not depend on it. If all else fails, you can decide to stop sharing your goals and dreams or choose what aspects you will share and if you need to, just stop listening. If the advice is unhelpful, harmful, sabotaging your confidence and getting in the way of moving forward, TUNE IT OUT. The one thing I want you to believe is this - Trust your instincts and keep taking steps forward, regardless of who is on board. Your dreams deserve action, with or without approval.

Bottom Line

It can be crushing to our confidence and motivation when the very people closest to us just don’t get our dreams and can’t support them. Once you figure out their motivations you can communicate with them better. If you need to, find support elsewhere, in fact, do that anyway. The more people in your corner the better. Bottom line - you don’t need everyone to believe in your dreams for them to become reality. You just need to believe in yourself—and keep taking bold steps forward.

I’d love to hear from you! Have you ever faced resistance or a lack of support from loved ones while pursuing your dreams? How did you handle it? Share your experiences or tips in the comments below—let’s keep this conversation going and support each other along the way!