How to deal with LinkedIn Envy?

In the early days of my career, I always thought it was that next title that would help me make all the impact I want to cause in my work, life and the world around me. And when I would see people on social platforms like LinkedIn get those roles and titles, it was a trigger for envy.

Many think you only envy those around you, but it's not so for multiple reasons. Firstly, in the case of close friends, you are happy to see them succeed. Secondly, you know these people well and thus know they deserve it, not you.

That said, our irrational mind may still play tricks.

Where does envy come from?

The emotion of envy likely has deep evolutionary roots, tracing back to our hunter-gatherer ancestors. While there isn't definitive evidence pinpointing the exact origin of envy, evolutionary psychologists propose several theories to explain how it may have served a functional purpose in early human societies.

1. Resource Allocation: In hunter-gatherer communities, resources like food, shelter, and mates were limited. Envy could serve as a mechanism to gauge the distribution of these resources. If a community member had more of something valuable, envy could motivate others to strive for a more equitable share, thereby enhancing their chances of survival.

2. Social Cohesion: Envy might have acted as a social equalizer. In small tribes where cooperation was essential for survival, extreme imbalances in power or resources could be detrimental to social harmony. Envy could motivate individuals to elevate their status or, in more pessimistic scenarios, undermine the status of others to maintain a more level playing field.

3. Competitive Drive: The emotion of envy could serve to fuel competition and ambition. In a community where everyone is striving to be better at essential skills like hunting or tool-making, the overall capability of the community improves. Envy could thus act as a catalyst for innovation and improvement, benefitting the group.

4. Information Gathering: Envy may have been a tool for identifying what is valuable within a community. If others possess something that evokes envy—like skills, mates, or resources—it signals that these are worth pursuing. In this way, envy could guide what to strive for to enhance one's fitness and well-being.

While modern society's social and economic structures have evolved significantly from our hunter-gatherer days, the underlying emotional architecture remains. Today's environment may not demand survival skills in the same way.

Still, the emotion of envy persists, affecting us in complex ways, such as how we interact on social platforms like LinkedIn.

How to Navigate LinkedIn Envy?

LinkedIn can be a valuable tool for networking and career advancement, yet it can also fuel a destructive cycle of envy and dissatisfaction. This is where the concept of "thick and thin desires" from Luke Burgess' book "Wanting" can offer valuable insights.

This framework helps us differentiate between desires that genuinely contribute to our well-being ("thick desires") and those that are superficial and driven by social comparison ("thin desires").

Below are three steps to navigate LinkedIn Envy using this framework.

Step 1: Discern Between Thick and Thin Desires

Acknowledging that you feel envy while scrolling through LinkedIn is the first step, but not all desires that arise from envy are equal. Ask yourself if what you're envying represents a "thick desire" that aligns with your authentic self and long-term goals or a "thin desire" driven by the urge to measure up to others.

Actionable Tip: Note the posts that trigger your envy and categorize them as thick or thin desires. This will help you focus on what truly matters in your professional journey.

Step 2: Reframe Your Perspective with Authenticity

After distinguishing between thick and thin desires, aim to reframe your LinkedIn experience around your authentic, intrinsic goals. Remember that LinkedIn is a curated platform; what you see often represents someone else's highlight reel, not their whole story.

Actionable Tip: Customize your LinkedIn feed to include more content that aligns with your thick desires. This could mean following industry leaders who inspire you or joining groups related to your true career interests.

Step 3: Redirect Envy into Constructive Thick Desires

Finally, let your thick desires guide you into constructive action. Instead of wallowing in envy, channel that energy into steps that bring you closer to your authentic goals. If you find yourself envying someone's skill set or career path that aligns with your thick desires, it's a signal to invest in that area.

Actionable Tip: Create a roadmap outlining the skills, experiences, or connections you need to fulfil your thick desires. This transforms envy from a crippling emotion into a motivational force for genuine growth.

LinkedIn envy is a shared experience, but understanding it through the lens of thick and thin desires can help you navigate it more effectively. By discerning what genuinely contributes to your professional and personal growth, you can turn LinkedIn from a source of anxiety into a tool that propels you toward your authentic self.

Leadership is not a position; it's a choice. You don't have to wait for that next position to be a leader; you can choose to be one now.

Rest is just an excuse; that next title won't fix it.